http://clampfix.fanworks.net/ccd-fix/blood.txt </head><body><pre>Rated: PG-13 Spoilers: None really. Summary: Nokoru chooses his destiny. CCD: Blood-Bound by K. Huntsman released September 4th, 2001 Nokoru was silent as he viewed the lake of flat black water which was in the cavern under the Chairman's mansion. At his side, his aunt, the current Chairman, waited. Speaking in this place was forbidden. He slipped the acolyte's robe of stiff blue silk off his shoulders and waded forward, naked, into the darkness. Behind him there was only the Chairman and the single candle burning on the ledge. Ahead of him was the unknown. //You may die,// she had warned him. //I won't,// he had replied. //You may forget your entire life,// she had said. //If I do, then it's meant to be,// he had answered. //You may be utterly destroyed,// had been her final caution. //If I am not, then I will never live,// he had responded. He passed the place where the water became too deep for him. He wasn't extraordinarily tall; Suoh and Akira were both taller than he was.... Nokoru sent that thought away. This was one thing that did not involve those two, and must not. In this, there must be himself and only himself. Outsiders were not allowed, even in thoughts. He swam, pushing silently through the blackness. There were only two sounds: his heartbeat and his breathing. The dark was absolute. //Do not drink until it is offered to you,// the Chairman had instructed him, //and do not eat at all.// He hadn't eaten in the last fortnight, fasting, taking only water into his body, flushing out the impurities of the wordly life he lived aboveground. He had managed to time it so that his companions had gone off on a cruise a week ago. Since then he had been in the vow of silence. His need for sleep nearly vanished, he had spent his time wandering the Campus, learning every blade of grass, every tree. The night mists had decorated spiderwebs with pearls. Diamonds beaded on the grass in the early morning sun. And no painter's brush could ever equal the colors of the Clamp Campus sunset. Somehow, he did not know how, he had been unseen by the students or staff or security. //You will be judged on one thing, and one thing alone: how purely you burn in your desire for this place. If you are distracted, or if you do not want it enough, the Campus will destroy you and perhaps you will survive, perhaps you will not, but either way you shall know what you have lost, and never become the Chairman.// He had never felt so light, so pure. When it rained, he let the rain wash him, and when the sun shone he lay in it, so grateful for the gift of life that he could not begin to form the feeling into words. //If you pass, everything and more that you ever wanted will be yours, but you will never be quite the same. You will likely never wed, because it will be hard for others to understand what you have become. Your mind will become faster, stronger, better, but others around you may think that you have lost part of your humanity.// She paused. //Even those dearest to you may not understand.// He had nodded. The water enveloped him, buoyed him, currentless. And then it opened to him, and pulled him down, closing itself after him. He was in a chapel, a white place, kneeling before the altar. He was not allowed to speak, not allowed to make any noise. And he must stay there until they came for him. He must not take his eyes off the altar, off the thing that rested there. What was it? The light shone blindingly from of it so that he could not see its shape, but he must. He strove towards it, his eyes burning through that light. That holy thing... he must see it. He must protect it. "Kaichou." That was Suoh's voice, behind him. "They said you may go now." <No,> he wanted to say, but could not. He was not allowed speech. <You are not the one who can release me from this task, Suoh.> "Kaichou!" implored Akira as well. "It's done. You've guarded it long enough." <No, Akira. I must protect this until....> Nokoru's eyes did not waver, but perhaps his faith did for an instant. <Who must I protect this for? And for how long?> There was an answer, somewhere. He continued kneeling as he contemplated that. <I must protect this something that I cannot yet see, and cannot touch, until... until when?> And then there was an answering voice, one that hurt him and nearly made him scream, though it was only a whisper. "Until the Promised Day," it replied, and it came from deep inside himself, shredding pain. "Until the Day that will come." "Kaichou, leave this," Akira urged. "Come away from this vigil and into life." "If you stay here like this, you will surely die," Suoh agreed. "And then we will be unhappy." <No.> Nokoru was resolute. <I will stay. I must stay. There is no other to take up this task, no one else who can do this. It is my task, and mine alone. And I WILL complete it.> The two specters at his sides melted away, and Nokoru almost sighed in relief, but that was not allowed either. He kept his eyes on the altar as time, so indefinite in shape, passed. He did not hunger, and he did not thirst, so long as he kept his eyes on the holy thing. Footsteps in the chapel behind him, slow but steady. They came towards him, then the other stepped to his right, a dark shape in the corner of his eye. "Drink," that other offered him in an indeterminate voice, and hands filled with cool water were presented to him. He lowered his head and drank the water, which seemed to be light, never taking his eyes off the altar. When he was done, that other touched him on the right arm with a wet finger, touched him on the spot that bore his two scars, the first from protecting Suoh, the second acquired while rescuing Idomu, both several years ago. The wet finger traced a quick design above those scars, and it started burning, raw pain. Nokoru bit his lip and kept his eyes on the altar. A second figure stepped up before the altar and lifted the shining thing off of it. "This is mine," that person said, and Nokoru could not see his face through the light and backlight. The thing in his hands pulsed; a chalice, a stone, a spear. "Thank you for protecting it for me." A sword. And not any sword: a sword of power, of beauty, of significance. A holy sword. Nokoru concentrated, willing himself to see past the light, to see the person to whom such a thing belonged. All he could see was a tumble of dark hair, a sweep of phantom wings.... And violet eyes. "Thank you," that person said again, and then was gone, the holy sword with him. Unable to stand after kneeling for so long, Nokoru fell, and was caught by the gentle hands which had scarred him. They soothed the hair back from his forehead, that soft touch still damp, and then his head was placed in a lap, and he knew no more. Nokoru woke staring at a white ceiling trimmed with gold edging. Where had the woman and the chapel gone, he wondered. And before that, the cave.... Slowly he came to realize that he was in his own room, in his own bed, lying naked beneath a single cotton sheet. <What day is it? How long have I been here?> He turned his head to one side and saw afternoon sunshine pouring in the floor-to-ceiling windows. He tried to sit up but his body protested it. He did reach his hand over to touch the scar on his right arm, though, tracing the shape which was there. The scar had changed. He tilted his head to look at that and saw, over the double scars from protecting his friends, a star within a circle. <The woman in the chapel... she was the Campus, wasn't she? She marked me, claimed me. I survived the test. What happened?> The door to his chambers opened and he jerked his head to look as someone came in. Two someones, actually.... "Kaichou! You're awake!" Akira said happily, bearing a tea tray. "Thank goodness." That was Suoh, who swiftly crossed the room to press a hand against Nokoru's forehead. "How do you feel? Are you all right?" "Suoh...? Akira...?" Nokoru whispered, confused. They hadn't been due back for another week. "We got back last night, Rijichou," Suoh said, sensing the root of his confusion. "The former Chairwoman said that you'd been like this for a week but that you would be coming out of it in a day or two." He didn't press to know what had happened, which was just as well. "'Rijichou'?" Nokoru asked out of a throat which did not seem to want to speak louder than a whisper. "'Former' Chairwoman?" "She retired and announced you as her successor, Kaichou," Akira replied, setting the tea-tray down on the table. "Congratulations! I thought you might like a special tea to celebrate when you woke up, so I made your favorite muffins." Nokoru smiled. "Thank you, Akira." He looked at Suoh. "I hope the paperwork hasn't already piled up too high while I've been out." "Nothing that can't be handled with two days of hard work," Suoh dismissed. He looked piercingly at Nokoru. "*Are* you all right, Rijichou?" Nokoru thought about the question for a minute, then nodded. "Yes. A bit weak and out of the habit of speech, perhaps, but otherwise fine." Akira was already pouring the tea as Suoh helped Nokoru to sit up. "You haven't eaten in a week, Kaichou, so go slowly." "Three weeks, actually," Nokoru corrected as he accepted the cup from Akira. "WHAT?!" both Akira and Suoh demanded. Nokoru smiled and sipped his tea. "It's a long story," he said. "I like long stories," Suoh replied, stone-faced. "Why did you do something like that to yourself, Kaichou?" Akira asked. "You like eating!" Nokoru looked out the window, where past the golden spill of light Clamp Campus stretched on as far as the eye could see. He could feel it already, he realized, the land and the people humming in his veins. And as time went on that connection would only grow stronger. Someday he might be able to control everything on Campus just by his bond with it. He smiled. "To get everything I ever wanted," he softly replied. "Rijichou?" Suoh asked, not understanding. Nokoru looked back at his two friends, Suoh perching on the edge of his bed, Akira standing next to him. They were both so worried about him when everything was really all right. The former Chairman had been correct, of course. They might not understand. But they did not need to understand. They would accept on faith. They knew each other well and long. Suoh and Akira were parts of him, his right hand and his left. "Well, almost everything," he softly amended. "Two important things I already had." --Fin-- Author's Notes: This story has been lurking on my hard drive next to Natalie Baan's edits for quite a while (I don't even want to think of how long). After being asked at YaoiCon for more CCD-fic, I decided to just sit down and edit it. Though it's not slash at all, I hope this counts as fulfilling that requst, and that you enjoyed reading it. Before writing it, I'd wondered for a while about Nokoru's fanatical devotion to the Campus (which seems somehow a lot older than it should be... as N-chan pointed out once, the gigantic trees must have been there before the Campus was present to protect them, not to mention the "feel" of the Tower that is present in the anime) and about the mystical/magical efforts lent by his family towards the end of the world. I finally came to see Nokoru as a "sacrifice" to the Campus, albeit a willing one. Following this vision/version, it is easy to see how the Chairman has been molding him to the Campus since an early age. I took the liberty of making her his aunt since, while it is known that they are related, it is not known precisely how. Taking away some of Nokoru's humanity following his Ordeal was neccessary; having become more than human, he cannot remain completely human. That which matters most to him, however (Suoh and Akira) stayed the same. While Suoh immediately takes to Nokoru's change of title, I think to Akira Nokoru will always be "Kaichou." If there were echoes of Tamora Pierce in this work, by the way, I apologize. I have been reading her works since a very young age. </pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>