A couple strikes of a hammer finished driving the signpost into the ground. The owner of the hammer then carefully straightened the sign and then stepped round it to the front to look at it. He sighed mournfully.

That was because the sign said, "GREAT IMONOYAMA YARD SALE."

The owner of the hammer dropped said tool back into a box and picked up a bullhorn. The feedback whine that resulted when he turned the thing on nearly knocked him over. He regained his composure and took a deep breath. Flipping open a fan, he yelled, even though the bullhorn, "Your attention, please! The Great Imonoyama Yard Sale has now begun!"

Nokoru switched the bullhorn off and stood back, waiting.

It had been an afternoon much like any other afternoon. Nokoru sat at the huge desk that dominated the student council office, writing and stamping, stamping and writing. Suoh stood nearby, ready to pounce the instant Nokoru's mind wandered from the task at hand. And Akira, dear, sweet Akira, kept up a patter of cheerful conversation with two people who either wouldn't or couldn't answer, cooking okonomiyaki over a portable hibachi and making sure the tea never ran out. Of course, talking to Suoh was, quite often, like trying to have a pleasant conversation with a brick wall, but Akira tried, nonetheless.

"And so she said to me, 'but I don't have a dog!' Ha ha ha! Boy, was I ever embarrassed! Here I'd done all that searching and it was the wrong girl! Ha ha ha ha!" Akira poured some sugar into the tea, remembering that Nokoru liked some tea with his sugar, and placed it on the desk. "It was her best friend who'd lost the dog. Well, I was late for class anyway, so I told her, 'please take the dog to her, I'm late for class.' But the dog didn't like her at all. As soon as I handed him over, he growled and snarled and ran away." Akira sighed hugely. "So we had to chase him down. So we're chasing after him and who comes along the other way, but the owner of the dog! He shoots right past her and we have to keep running after him. But, it all turned out good in the end, we got the dog back to her and I only missed half of my class."

A pause, then, the only sound being Nokoru's pen against the paper.

"So," Akira started, poking at the ramen he had cooking in a portable deep fryer. "Has anybody seen any good movies lately? I saw this one..."

"Ijyuuin," Suoh interrupted. "Must you fill the air with words?"

"It's either that or turn on the radio," Nokoru said, not even looking up from his writing. "I prefer listening to Akira, thank you. You know what they play on the radio these days. If I hear one more depressing X-Japan song, I swear I'm going to shoot myself!"

Akira picked up a radio and turned it on, fiddling with the tuning dial. "Actually, those manga artists should be on. You know, those four shohjo-manga artists?" He continued fiddling with the dial, trying to find the station in question.

"What four shohjo-manga artists?" Nokoru mused. But he got no further in his musings, as the telephone rang. Suoh picked it up. "Elementary Division Student Council Office."

A pause.

"He's very busy right now, can I have him call you back?" Another pause. "I...I see. Just a moment, please."

Nokoru hadn't even looked up that entire time. He did, however, when Suoh said, very quietly, "Kaichou. It's for you."

Nokoru looked up and then stared. Never had he seen that look in Suoh's amber eyes and he hoped he'd never ever see it again. He gulped audibly and took the phone. Akira stopped fiddling with the radio. Nokoru cleared his throat. "Yes?" He chuckled nervously. "Ri-Rijichou...why..."

A pause. Akira put down the radio and came closer to the desk, heedless of the fact that the ramen was now burning. Suoh could almost hear the voice on the other end of the phone.

"But..." Nokoru started. He stared. "E...e...EEEEEEEEHH!?!?!" Akira jumped at the sound as Nokoru shot to his feet. "When did THIS happen?!" Another pause as he listened. Akira stared as he saw the colour drain from Nokoru's face. "Rijichou..." He listened some more. Then closed his eyes and sighed. "I see. Yes. Goodbye." He hung up the phone.

"Kaichou?" Suoh started toward him, then leaped forward to catch him as he fell.

"What happened!?" Akira gasped as Suoh lowered Nokoru's inert form to the floor. He darted round the desk to kneel next to them. Suoh peeled open one of Nokoru's eyes and looked.

"He's fainted," he said.

"I wonder what she said," Akira mused sadly, looking at the phone. Then he started with a cry as he noticed the smoke. "The ramen's burning!!"

Suoh frowned. What was it that happened that made the Rijichou, of all people, call him on the phone? Nokoru was always of a melodramatic nature, so it didn't worry him so much that he was now passed out on the floor. It was the phone call itself that worried him. Nokoru almost never communicated with his family. It bore looking into.

"But what happened?" Akira cried, pulling the ramen from the fryer.

"We're b...b..." He seemed incapable of getting the word out. "Buh...."

"Bad?" Akira suggested.

"Banished?" Utako guessed.

"Beleaguered?" Suoh wondered.

"Bumpy?" Was Nagisa's guess. They all looked at her. She shrugged.

They were all gathered around the infirmary bed where Nokoru had been tucked in nice and comfy an hour and a half ago. Now he was finally able to talk to them and tell them what was wrong. Or so they thought. Nokoru sat, then, his back against the pillows. He clutched the blanket in his fists and trembled, wide-eyed and pale.

"Kaichou," Suoh said flatly. "Breathe."

Nokoru took a huge, deep breath and let it out in a gusty sigh.

"Busted?" Akira guessed. The others fell over.

"Stop guessing!" Suoh yelled. He then turned to Nokoru. "Kaichou, what did she tell you?"

"Buh..." was all Nokoru could say. "B-b-buh..."

"Bandits?"

"Brown?"

"Bentoh?"

Suoh grabbed Nokoru by the lapels of his shirt and shook him. "Snap out of it! What happened?"

"BROKE!!!" Nokoru shouted. "We're broke! We're broke!" He buried his face in his hands and sobbed.

A shocked pause.

"B-broke?" Akira stuttered.

"How?" Utako whispered.

Nokoru sniffed, mopping at his face. "The double audit we..." sniff, "...ended up with last year turned up rotten b-because someone mishandled the..." sniff, "...books. W-we bounced 260 b-billion yen in cheques, including th-the one we paid this year's t-taxes with." Sniff, "Th-that's three years of bad tax checques..." He took a deep breath. "It was the brand-new dirigible and the fleet of new cars and the seven-forty-seven and the open-air theatre and renovations to Gamera Hall and the house in Hawaii, and the archaeological dig in Africa and the supercollider...."

The others stared. "And that was all in one year?" Suoh asked.

Nokoru looked up at him. "Uh-huh. And we'd cut back this year, too!"

The others fell over. "A SUPERCOLLIDER?!" Akira screeched.

Nokoru nodded miserably. "And the Nuclear Science Division hasn't even had a chance to use it, yet." He sighed. "The government are going to seize all our property, including the CLAMP school, if we don't pay them in full by the fifteenth."

Suoh stared. "The fifteenth?"

"Uh-huh."

"Of October?" Akira asked.

"Uh-huh."

"But that's tomorrow," Nagisa said.

Nokoru fainted. Again.

So now Suoh and Akira looked at Nokoru as he stood by the sign that said, GREAT IMONOYAMA YARD SALE, and figured that the yard was probably for sale, as well. Why not? Everything else was. If it wasn't nailed down, the Imonoyamas plonked it into the campus courtyard and then went back with a crowbar to get everything that was. They carted it all there in the blimp and then slapped a "for sale" sign on that, too. Suoh couldn't imagine how any one family, no matter how numerous, could own this much...stuff. He saw furniture and rugs and home decorations and objects d'art over here and a fleet of big American and European cars over there and bizarre things like turbostaplers and hyper-water-purifiers over there. And that way were racks and racks of hideously expensive clothes and boxes of hideously expensive jewellery. And in the distance sat the planes and a sign saying, THIS WAY TO YACHT AND SUB.

Nokoru looked off into the horizon, shading his eyes with his fan. Suoh and Akira looked, too, and then stared, pop-eyed.

Heading toward them at a good, speedy clip was a huge cloud of dust. A rumbling noise faded into hearing, accompanying it.

"Here it comes," Nokoru stated, snapping the fan shut.

And in that instant, the cloud passed over them, the rumbling filled their ears and the dust filled their lungs. They coughed and wheezed and spluttered and when the dust died down, Akira and Suoh lowered their arms from where they had been thrown over their heads and opened their eyes.

And then stared about wildly.

In the space of two seconds (two point three-five, actually, according to the stopwatch Nokoru held), half the merchandise was gone and a pile of money sat on a table. Nokoru smiled and walked over to the table, looking at the pile, and then proceeding to neaten it, as calm as you please.

"What..." Akira stuttered. "What was that?"

Nokoru smiled again. "That was the first wave."

"How are we doing Akira?" Nokoru asked for the twentieth time that day, hovering over the other's shoulder. Akira sighed and pushed a few beads about on his abacus. "We're about halfway there," he said.

Nokoru stared at his watch as if expecting it to speak up and tell him the answers to his deepest questions. "It's three o'clock," he said, fidgeting. He tapped the fan against the table and sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He left and wandered the sale area, popping from shopper to shopper in nanoseconds. Akira wondered, for the twentieth time that day, who put the amphetamines in Nokoru's tea.

Then he looked up as someone walked up to the table. Three girls in Junior-high Division uniforms stood over him, grinning. Check that, two stood over him, and the third lagged behind them, carrying what had to be the Imonoyamas' entire antique weapons collection. "Umi-chan, Fuu-chan," she panted. "Wait up!"

One of the girls dropped the price tags onto the table and then started to rummage in her purse. So did her friend. Having purchased the weapons, they sauntered off, the third girl still lagging behind with her load and a fluffy white...thing bouncing after them and saying "Pu! Pu!"

Nokoru wandered about, hoping that some of this stuff would sell. What were they thinking putting things like clothes and shoes (too, too many shoes, in his opinion) and personal knickknacks on sale like this? He passed a rack of expensive clothes.

"Honestly Subaru, I can't take you anywhere, can I, I mean this is the Great Imonoyama Yard Sale, for crying out loud, you're supposed to buy stuff! I don't know how you could come to something like this and not buy a thing, I really don't understand you, Subaru, here hold this, you might as well make yourself useful if you're not gonna spend anything. But that's okay, I'll spend it all for you! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!" Nokoru felt sorry for the slight fellow tailing this chatterbox, weighed down, as he was, with more than an entire closet's worth. "I think this hat would look cute on you, Subaru! Ooo! And these necklaces, wouldja look at that, oh, I could just stay here and buy everything!!"

Nokoru hoped so. Maybe she could get someone to help cart all that stuff home, too. He moved on, glad that her voice was fading out of earshot. He had an ear for the dulcet tones of the feminine voice, but this, frankly, was anything but dulcet. He sighed.

People wandered about, looking at things.

"What are these?" someone asked.

"How much for this, the price tag got lost."

"Have you got another one of these?"

"Is this a whole set, or can I buy just one?"

"You're selling a blimp?"

"Sheez, kid, rough, isn't it?"

Nokoru looked up at the one who made that last statement. And up, and up, and up. Towering over him was seven feet of fur that he supposed was female. The creature smiled at him sympathetically. "Hey, I feel your pain. Tellya what," she said, reaching into her purse. "I'll buy one of those, and one of those, and...oo, some of these!" She bustled off, collecting items in a pile with remarkable strength. Two other similarly...endowed ladies (though not furry) hurried after her. "Brit!" one cried. "Don't you ever learn?"

And the day wore on.

Nokoru passed a table of cute bricabrac, and saw Utako and Nagisa standing over it.

"Oh! Nokoru-sama!" Utako called, waving. She darted up to him and pressed some money into his hand. "I'd like to buy this, it's so cute!" Nagisa followed. "Thank you," she whispered, also handing him the requisite currency. They trotted away, giggling. Nokoru smiled.

Wandering back to the table at which Akira sat, he saw Suoh standing nearby, looking ovewhelmed. But before he could say anything, Suoh's jacket beeped. The ninja was apparently as startled as anyone else, staring stupidly at his clothes for a moment. He reached into his jacket and produced a cel phone. He flipped it open. "Yes."

A pause. He sighed irritatedly. "Ijyuuin," he said, handing Akira the phone, "it's for you."

"Oh, God," Akira moaned. "I hope we're not broke, too!" He took the phone. "Yes?" A pause. "Yes, they're having a sale. Well, I suppose so. Well, it depends on what..." Another pause. "Oh, no, don't," he moaned. "Oh, don't do that, you know I can't....oh, okay. Okay. Bye." He turned off the phone and handed it back to Suoh, but it never got there, as Nokoru snatched it up and slapped a price sticker on it. Akira and Suoh stared as Nokoru darted off, laughing maniacally.

"This is getting scary," Akira said. Suoh nodded in solemn agreement.

"Thank you, Miyuki," Nokoru said, smiling at Miyuki and her purchases.

"Oh, it's the least I can do," she replied. "I hope it all works out okay for you. Thanks again for finding Yoshie!" She left, waving.

Nokoru leaned back in the chair and flapped the fan, cooling himself off despite the slight October chill in the air. How much longer would this sale go? And when was Akira going to get back from his food run? Night was starting to fall.

He looked up in surprise as a helicopter of all things, descended on the sale grounds. A ladder unfurled and, before he knew it, a tapestry was being carried up it. The person returned for a graceful statue. He hung from the ladder for a moment, waving. People Oooohed and Ahhhed as the helicopter lifted away.

"Agh," Nokoru moaned. The Mysterious Twenty Mensou had struck again.

The slight, bushy-haired kid with the big eyes eyed the ornate sword covered with lots of Hebrew writing for a moment. He pondered, then looked to have reconsidered. "Nah, I'll come back for it later..."

Nokoru looked about at the sale grounds. After the big, scary-looking men came and bought most of the cars, after hordes of women came and bought the clothes and jewellery, after some gaijin who introduced himself as Mark Adams bought the sub, after families with bored kids bought the furniture and snuggly couples bought the decorations, the yard was pretty much empty. People wandered about, looking at the remaining decorations and statues and such. He made his way back to the table. Two girls stood at the table, clothes in their arms. One grinned at Akira. "Are you for sale, too?" she joked.

"You could never afford him, Rei-sempai," the other snickered.

"Oh, yeah? How much for you, then, cutie?" The first girl grinned.

"And how much for him?" the other seconded, pointing at Suoh.

"Uhm..." Akira floundered, looking up from writing the totals.

"Sheez, Kaori-chan, you scared him. I'm sorry," the first said.

"I scared him?!" the first yelped. They plonked down their money and left, still arguing.

"How are we doing, Akira?" Nokoru mumbled tiredly. He flopped into a chair.

Akira did the math. "We're still a few hundred thousand short," he sighed.

"Unnnnghhhhh," Nokoru moaned, rubbing his face. He sighed hugely. He stood, flipping open the fan again. "I hate to do this, but..." He reached under the table and produced a huge box, bringing it down onto another table with an impressive THOOM noise.

It was a box of personal belongings that looked strangely familiar.

"K-Kaichou..." Akira yelped. "These are your..."

Nokoru nodded solemnly. "That's right." He picked up the bullhorn again. "Your attention please! There are more items for sale over here!" People wandered over, curious.

"Hey," someone said curiously, after a moment. "These are yours..." he looked up. "Aren't they?"

"That's right," Nokoru replied.

Instantly a crowd of girls descended upon the table. More and more came, all clamouring for a piece of the merchandise. Akira and Suoh stared as Nokoru was buried under the crowd. The girls squealed and squeaked, all positively ecstatic at owning something that belonged to "the Imonoyama Nokoru!" They pushed and shoved. They fought over the items of sale. They stampeded the table, nearly upending it and poor Akira. And when the crowd passed, Nokoru dragged his bruised and bedraggled self up from the ground and to a chair.

"A...kira..." he wheeezed. "Please...tell me it's....over...."

Akira did the math again. He sighed. "Kaichou, I'm sorry. We're still short."

Suoh opened a copy of the school newspaper. "There's always a job," he said.

"Huh?" Nokoru said, staring up at him as though he'd gone mad.

"Kaichou," Suoh said sternly. "We need it by noon tomorrow, remember."

Nokoru sighed mournfully.

"Welcome to Burger-sama, sir," Nokoru said. "May I take your order?"

The customer grinned and turned to the man in the gi standing behind him. "See, Pop, I toldja we were better off coming here than Shampoo's place." He turned back to Nokoru. "Yeah, gimme five triple cheeseburgers, a couple orders of fries and a chocolate shake. And an apple pie. Oh, and throw in some Chicken Parts."

"Thank you, sir," Nokoru sighed.

The night wore on....

"Lemme see...." The squeaky-voiced girl from the sale pondered. "A fish sandwich, an order of fries, a chocolate shake, an order of Chicken Parts, a slice of pepperoni pizza, an order of tacos, a cherry pie, oh, and another order of fries. And a diet cola. I'm watching my figure, you know," she giggled at that last. "What do you want, Subaru?"

"Uhm," the slight fellow standing next to her said, his soft voice barely audible. "A garden salad," he finally said. "I'm not very hungry, Hokuto."

"A SALAD?!" The girl screeched. "Su-buh-ROO! You're gonna starve to death!" She rummaged in her purse when Nokoru rang up the total. She paused. Then turned to the tall man in the overcoat standing behind her. "Uhm...eh heh. Seishirou..."

The tall man sighed and rolled his eyes, reaching into his pocket.

And on.... "Four Burger-sama Classics and an apple pie and a chocolate shake and and two orders of fries and a cherry cola!" the girl with her hair in buns chirped.

"You never change, do you, Miaka," the blonde-haired girl next to her moaned.

And on...

"Two bacon cheese burgers!"

"A Super Order of Chicken Parts!"

A fish sandwitch, no lettuce!"

"A Burger-sama Classic, hold the mayo!"

"Make that two Super Orders of Chicken Parts!'

"A cherry cola!"

"A chocolate shake!"

"Don't forget, no lettuce!"

"Make that three Super Orders of Chicken Parts!"

"Oh, I don't want pickles on my bacon cheese burger!"

"A Grilled Chicken Burger-sama special, no pickles, extra mayo, lots of ketchup, and a diet cola!"

"Make that four Super Orders of Chicken Parts!"

And on...

"No, I want A. CHEEEEEEEESE BURRR-GER. ON-YON-RINGS. AND A LAAAARGE. ORRRAAANGE. DRINK!"

And ON.

"Thank you, sir," Nokoru mumbled as the portly brown-haired fellow smiled and left the counter, his tray piled high with burgers, three drinks balanced precariously among them. Someone at a table full of people waved and said, "Over here, Ryu!"

Nokoru slumped against the counter, bone-weary.

The manager walked up to him. "Thanks for all your help," he said. "We're closing up, now. All we have to do is ring up the register."

Nokoru nodded, half asleep.

The next morning, Nokoru made his way to the sale grounds. The place was perfectly empty, save for Suoh, Akira, and a table.

"Good morning, Kaichou!" Akira chirped. "Have some tea."

"Please, please, please tell me you have some good news, Akira," Nokoru begged, taking the tea cup.

Akira hemmed and hawed for a moment. "Uhm..."

"Oh, don't tell me!" Nokoru moaned. "We still don't have enough?"

"It's only a little!" Akira yelped. "I'm sure we can make it!"

"But we sold everything, Ijyuuin," Suoh said.

"Everything?" Nokoru gaped.

"Everything," Suoh reiterated.

Nokoru sighed in defeat.

"Thcuthe me," a tiny voice said. Nokoru looked down at the toddler. "Can I buy that?" She concluded, indicating Nokoru's fan.

Nokoru stared.

The toddler pushed some coins into Nokoru's nerveless hand and plucked the fan from it. "Thank you!" she squeaked, bowing. Then she skipped off with her newest acquisition. Nokoru fell to his knees, staring sightlessly.

"Kaichou!" Akira yelped, picking up the coins. "We've made our total!"

No answer.

"My, what a fun sale that was," said a voice from behind them. They looked and there stood the Rijichou, eyes obscured, as usual, behind her own fan.

"We made the total!" Akira cheered. "The school is saved!"

"I'm afraid it wasn't in any danger," the Rijichou replied.

"Wh-what?" Suoh asked very carefully.

The Rijichou smiled. "It seems there was a computer error. We didn't owe a thing."

Suoh and Akira fell over.

Nokoru, however, shot to his feet. "Hey! OI! KID! Come back here with my fan!" he howled, charging off after the little girl, only to fall over three yards away.

A wind blew, wafting cherry blossoms about. The Rijichou smiled again.

"Poor Nokoru-san."