http://clampfix.fanworks.net/ccd-fix/clan5.txt </head><body><pre>Yeah, well, they just ARE, okay? He's screwed up, and so is he, and they both have reasons, and just laugh, okay, 'cuz they're idiots. Right. There you have it. A Clan-Destine Vacation Part 5 by Kay Willow They reached the cabin before sundown. The traps had gotten more convoluted and intricate the farther on they traveled. Akira had miraculously managed to avoid getting hurt at all, although Kasumi hadn't been quite as fortunate and had been hit squarely on the knee during a barrage of pebbles thrown at lethal speed - one blow to the head from those would've killed the strongest of men - and was now limping up the path. "Thank goodness," Nokoru breathed in relief as the cabin came into view. He was cradling his right hand, which was the only other victim of the stone-trap, and though Suoh didn't think anything was broken it appeared to be hurting a great deal. There was a short series of lacerations on his ankle where a barbed wire had nearly sliced his foot off, but he was otherwise unharmed. "It's not over yet," Suoh warned; he'd dislocated his arm, pushing Nokoru out of the way of a noose-trap and getting his hand caught in it instead. Ryoko had helpfully put it back into place once Rei had gotten him down, but it felt like his shoulder was on fire. He was still carrying his pack, although Nokoru had insisted fiercely on taking his own back afterwards. Wakaba groaned. "You're KIDDING me! I'm NEVER going on vacation with you horrible people EVER again!" She had somehow wound up stumbling into every trap on the path, and though Rei had kept her from getting anything worse than a stubbed toe, she was not pleased with the results, and kept limping as though that one toe was going to kill her yet. Meri visibly restrained herself from slapping the smaller girl. "Deal with it, brat," she hissed, her face pale with pain. Normally she would never resort to name-calling, but her temper was suffering - she'd sprained her ankle running from the rain of spears earlier in, and had to lean heavily on Ryoko just to keep walking. Ryoko, like Akira, had the luck of a kitsune and hadn't been hurt once. Hahaue and Chichiue were disheveled, but not much more except for a mark - really no more than a paper-cut - on Hahaue's right hand. Hahaue, of course, was smiling. The rest of the group glared at her every now and then maliciously as they stumbled along, feeling like death would be a welcome reprieve from the traps. "What kind of a vacation is this?" Wakaba cried, ignoring Meri's warning. "We've been all but shot at--" "We have been shot at, actually," Akira corrected meticulously. "--and now you say it won't even be safe HERE!" "Would you SHUT UP?" Kasumi shouted. "I'm sick of hearing your WHINING! Look, a 'vacation' in the Takamura family is about the equivalent of a 'life-or-death obstacle course' to the rest of the world! And you KNEW that! You know what a SINGLE MEAL at our house is like! If you didn't want to endure, then you DIDN'T HAVE TO COME!" Wakaba turned bright red, and Rei - stumbling along beside Suoh, decidedly the worse for wear after having been nearly electrocuted - murmured, "She wouldn't have come if not for Imonoyama-san." "It figures," Suoh returned grimly. Ryoko pried Meri off of her and practically handed the other woman to Suoh, who stiffened defensively. "Watch her, Suoh-san," she warned. "I'll hold you accountable for her safety--" "--for the next few steps?" he responded through his teeth. "I know you hate people touching you, but put up with it," Ryoko snorted. "I have to check out the door, and I'm the only one who's still in a single piece." Rei moved forward jerkily, then stabilized. "I... I'll be back up." "The hell you will," she snarled back. "Your reaction time is so frazzled that I wouldn't trust you to be able to knock a butterfly out of the air, much less a dart flying at eighty miles an hour." "I'll do it!" Akira volunteered. When the green-haired girl turned to give him a flat glare he blushed. "I'm pretty fast. And I'm not hurt, either!" Something sparkled in Nokoru's eyes as he watched their friend move to the door, and Suoh wondered what manic impulse was driving both of them. Akira was probably about to get impaled by a dozen darts - Suoh would protest if he wasn't feeling more than half dead himself - and here was Kaichou, enjoying himself. Ryoko touched the doorknob lightly with her fingertips, tense and prepared. Her hand twitched automatically towards her shuriken, but the tiny ninja stars wouldn't be able to help her against a barrage of darts. Akira stood to the other side of the door, holding his pack as though he would be willing to sacrifice it to stop the expected projectiles. Instead of darts, it was a black-clad man who came flying out the door. The man tackled Ryoko, and the lightning-quick flash of a katana was barely visible before she slammed her knee into his ribs and attempted to score another blow to the back of his neck. The man twisted and scored a cruel kick to her hipbone and raised his sword again. Reaction time was, indeed, frazzled - it took until then before it occurred to anyone to go and help. Akira stood there, looking helpless; it was against his entire way of living to hurt someone. Knives and darts and wires he could deal with, but he wasn't willing to use those same skills against a person. After a blank moment he swung his pack at Ryoko's attacker, but missed and nearly got himself hurled against the door for his trouble. Meri cried out and attempted to help, but the moment she put weight on her ankle she collapsed to the ground. Suoh reached for his knives and found that his own injuries interfered similarly; every movement he made sent liquid agony racing through his veins. His vision blacked for a moment, and his breath hissed through his teeth, vision darkening. Suddenly, though, it was as if Kaichou was an avenging angel; all wounds forgotten he plummeted into the fray and had knocked the katana out of the assassin's hand before anyone could register his presence. Ryoko blinked at the blond, surprised, as Rei finally collected his wits and managed to hurl a dagger at her attacker. The assassin threw himself out of the way, then held up his hands in mock-surrender as he tumbled to a halt - the affair was over in less than thirty seconds. He stripped off his mask, and Takamura-gold eyes laughed at them all. "Shigeru-san!" Suoh cried, caught off-guard. Suoh's oldest cousin bowed with a flourish to the entire crowd. "I would've continued with the attack, Obasama," he said with a slight bow to the Takamura head, "but I hadn't expected Suoh-kun's One to participate, and I didn't want to have the future Head's wrath on my head if I went and killed him." Hahaue smiled benevolently at her sister's older child. "You should have continued with the attack regardless, Shigeru-san," she said simply. "An Imonoyama is too important a person to risk for our little practice-games, I think," Shigeru said flippantly, bowing again to the boy in question. Hahaue's eternally pleasant expression slipped a notch. "I didn't ask you to judge, Shigeru-san. I asked you to attack. And if he died, the point would have been made." "A bit costly for a simple point, Obasama," he remarked. "I don't happen to agree with your training methods, and I really don't approve of you lying to me the way you did. I trusted you, thinking I was safe from your tricks and games because I was now a part of them, and because I trusted you I nearly wound up killing my 'someone'." "What the hell is going on now," Wakaba said dully. "Who is this cornball?" One elegant blue eyebrow flew up. "Takamura Shigeru, lady. The oldest of the Takamura's sister's children." "They said SHE was the oldest," Wakaba insisted, pointing at Ryoko. The tall girl was still flat on her back, staring at Shigeru in astonishment. "Then they lied to you," Shigeru said sympathetically. "Don't listen to him," Suoh said suddenly. "Hahaue told you that Ryoko-san was the oldest DAUGHTER. Shigeru-san is the oldest of them all." "Are any other cousins going to be popping in at random?" the young girl gritted unpleasantly. "Nope!" Shigeru told her cheerily. "I'm the last of them. My mother doesn't trust my One not to seduce my other sisters." "Oh, good grief," Rei muttered. "Not another--" Wakaba gave him a furious glare, and he shut up. Nokoru held out a hand for Ryoko, helping her to her feet. She continued to gawk at her brother as if she'd never seen him before. Akira, confused, moved forward. "So he's NOT the enemy?" "Not at all," Kasumi said matter-of-factly. "He's just a jerk." Shigeru held a hand to his chest and put on a dramatically wounded expression. There came a laugh from inside the cabin. <Just what I need. Shigeru-san AND his One, as if Ryoko-san isn't traumatizing enough.> From the expression on Meri's face, she was thinking much the same thing. "I've heard things about your brother and those he associates with," the young woman said darkly. "Ryoko, tell me they're wrong." "They're probably not," Shigeru told her honestly. "You realize, of course," Ryoko finally managed to say, "that you've just RUINED the rest of my weekend. You and that playboy, both." Another, rather wicked laugh from inside the cabin made her flush and whirl around to shout at the faceless person inside. "Shut UP, Omi! That was SO not a compliment!" Shigeru half-grinned. "You're not gonna get to him by calling him names. He enjoys knowing he's aggravated people." "I'll bet he likes it in bed, too, the pervert," she growled. There was no accompanying laugh, which indicated only that he hadn't heard her. Nokoru and Akira fixed Suoh with identically puzzled expressions. <Don't ask. Please don't ask.> Shigeru hustled everyone inside so that they could meet his One - Nigana Omi - but most people didn't make it past the door. Wakaba, who entered immediately after the trio from CLAMP Campus, seemed to have turned to stone upon spying him. Nigana Omi was a knockout. He had the good looks of a supermodel, and the rakish grin of the playboy Ryoko had accused him of being. Silken, pale hair caressed his shoulders, and his features were strong and manly. His shoulders were broad, his hips narrow, and he was very nearly naked, with only a bandage wrapping around his torso and a pair of boxers on. Wakaba was drooling. Rei stood on tiptoe to peer past her shoulder, then snorted his disgust and shoved past her. Kasumi did much the same, stopping only to add, "Put some clothes on, would you? Freaking pervert." Omi was frowning at Nokoru. "Almost as beautiful as me," he said to himself, "but not as masculine. More effeminate. His eyes are gorgeous, though..." "Would you NOT size up the future head's One?" Shigeru demanded in an irritated tone. "He's not competition. I can almost guarantee you that you won't find him in any of those ridiculous pageants you enter." Suoh shrugged when his friends turned to give him more strange looks. They didn't want to know. "(Do they have a name for what's wrong with him?)" Ryoko wanted to know loudly. "(Of course they do. Narcissism,)" Omi himself responded, deadpan. Wakaba, jolted out of her paralysis by a particularly harsh shove, closed her mouth and stepped forward. "I am Nimurai Wakaba," she said regally, dipping her head in a coy manner. "And you are?" "Stunned," he answered, leering at her. It didn't do anything to distort his handsome face, which was almost a pity. "(Is it just me, or does something stink in here?)" Meri asked amusedly as she limped inside. "(Oh, I see. It's the decay radiating off his pick-up line, which has been dead for about two centuries, now.)" He gave her a dry look. "(So says the lesbian. Sure the 'stink' isn't just healthy male hormones?)" It wasn't hard to read Wakaba's expression. It went from 'that-lousy-nature-freak-is-insulting-me-again-in-that-barbaric-language-of-hers' to 'what-he's-defending-me-to-her-I-know-he-is' to 'oh-my-god-I'm-in-love' in the space of ten seconds. The vapid, completely empty face she wore now was a disgusting thing to see. <Well, at least it means she probably won't stalk Kaichou anymore.> Omi straightened and grimaced at Wakaba's expression, which was enough to startle her back to herself - but by the time she focused on him again, he was grinning charmingly. Suoh and Nokoru exchanged a quick glance. <There's something very strange about him, though. Why deliberately encourage a reaction in her, then hate it when you get it?> "There's no wood," Hahaue observed suddenly. Everyone jumped; nobody had seen her come in. "Someone will have to go get us wood, or we shall all freeze to death when the sun goes down!" She laughed as if it was funny, but mostly the others just shuddered. She snatched an axe off one wall and nearly rammed it into Shigeru's ribs when he wandered over to check the woodbin. "Go get some," she said in a deadly tone. Shigeru didn't seem to notice. "Can't. Gotta stay here with Omi. He'd probably get himself slapped if I'm not here!" He rolled his eyes and added under his breath to Suoh, "Or laid, which is really just as bad. He's always insufferable after a quick tumble." "More than I need to KNOW, Shigeru-san," Suoh grated back. "Hey, you'll know this sort of thing about your One, too, when you're with him as long as I've been with mine." Shigeru paused. "Well, when he's old enough, anyway." "I don't want to know this about OMI-SAN, Shigeru-san!" Through the dim haze of embarrassment, Suoh could vaguely recall that Shigeru had always been this way. It had been years since he'd last seen his cousin, but he hadn't changed a bit - still loud, over-obnoxious, and completely shameless. Shigeru had always been informing people of interesting little tidbits that everyone immediately wished had remained secret, and he'd loved disturbing his family members with his unorthodox and entirely unprecedented light-heartedness. Never had there been such a loose cannon in the Takamura clan before... "Alright, all ready!" Shigeru took the axe from his aunt before she could swing it at his head and handed it to Suoh. "Suoh-kun here has volunteered to get us some in my place, though," he said cheerily to the world. "Isn't that just so sweet of him?" "I'm going, too," Nokoru announced immediately. Akira nodded. The three of them hastily left the cabin before anyone could think of a reason they shouldn't. As they progressed with some speed down the wood-trail, Suoh watched the skyline and wondered how they were possibly going to get back to the ferry in time tomorrow before it left. <Come to think of it,> Suoh realized wryly, <it was Shigeru-san and Nigana-san manning the ferry. I KNEW it was strange when nobody investigated the racket we made last night!> "This is the first time we've been able to be alone together all weekend," Nokoru said, yawning. He continued to nurse his injured hand, and Suoh sighed as he noticed the rather large bruise spreading under the skin - internal bleeding was just what they needed in addition to their numerous surface injuries. He was probably going to claim he couldn't work with his hand like that when they got back to CLAMP Campus. Akira shook his head. "Your family is very... active, Takamura-senpai!" "You could say that they're active, or you could be honest and say that they're loud, intrusive, dangerous, and scary," Suoh corrected. "Let's be honest, Ijyuin." "Your little sister is charming," Nokoru said, smiling. "While we had lunch she came up and patted me on the knee, saying that she hadn't thought being eccentric was a good thing until she met me." Suoh sweatdropped. "Is that so?" "I wonder how Utako-san is doing?" Akira said dreamily, his gaze focused on some point in the distance. With a guilty start, Suoh realized he hadn't thought about Nagisa once since he'd arrived at the docks. <Well, at least I'm not suffering withdrawal either, the way Ijyuin seems to be doing.> He resolved firmly to take Nagisa to the movies or an ice cream parlor when he returned to make up for it, and concentrated on more important matters. Such as the trip-wire Kaichou was about to step on. Suoh reached out a hand and guided him over it; Akira avoided it almost before he even saw it, as he was still staring fancifully at the mountains. "Suoh..." Nokoru began suddenly. "Ryoko-san said that you don't like to be touched." Akira's head snapped around, and both of them watched him with uncertain eyes. Suoh silently cursed his big-mouthed cousin. <Not when it's YOU, Kaichou! And even you, Ijyuin - but I can't SAY that!> He fumbled for something to soothe them - he hated it when Kaichou was observant and remembered little details like this, even in the midst of bigger things like Shigeru and Omi, and then dragged Akira into it to boot, as if it wasn't embarrassing enough in and of itself. "Ryoko-san... I don't like it when SHE touches me," he improvised finally. "You may have noticed, but she tends to be a bit over-excitable..." Akira nodded grimly, drawing an amused glance from Nokoru. "And because Ryoko-san tends to take things at face value, she assumed that since I didn't like it when SHE touches me, I didn't like being touched at all." Suoh watched them, trying to see if they'd bought it. Akira soaked it up, beaming brilliantly. It was a plausible story, and just about anyone would believe it. Kaichou didn't. Suoh could see it in his eyes. Nokoru thought about his answer, his evasion, and the situation... and realization dawned. <Just PLEASE don't go announcing it, Kaichou...> Nokoru smiled tenderly and put a hand on his guardian's shoulder, holding a fan in the other hand that read "Understanding" printed neatly across the top. Then he turned around and the fan vanished, and it was just like another walk through the woods. Until they reached an appropriate place and Nokoru tried to take the axe. "I DON'T think so, Kaichou," Suoh told him flatly. Nokoru's wide, innocent gaze met his own. "But you can't chop down a tree with your shoulder in that condition, Suoh! Let me do it--" "So you can kill yourself, if not one of us? That's really quite all right, Kaichou. I doubt you could swing this thing at all, much less fell a tree with it." "Suoh, be reasonable!" "How come whenever you say that it's always a prelude to YOU saying something completely UNREASONABLE?" Akira blinked at them. "I don't think you ought to have the axe either, Kaichou," he admitted. "Akira! You too?" Nokoru demanded disbelievingly. "I'm sorry!" Akira said faintly. "But... there's no woman involved, so you don't have any athletic ability, and I thought--" Nokoru facefaulted. "I don't think we ought to let Kaichou near any large, bladed objects," Suoh said to Akira, ignoring the President. He paused. "Or any small, bladed objects. We probably shouldn't let him near any of the kitchen knives, either. And it might be best to keep him away from blunt objects. And he could be dangerous if he got his hands on most modern appliances..." There was a moment of silence. "Maybe we shouldn't let Kaichou near ANYTHING," Akira said seriously. Nokoru dropped to the ground again. "WHAT?!" "Actually, it might be best if we just tied him to a rock or something," Suoh told his younger friend. "That way, he couldn't possibly get into any trouble until we drag him back to the cabin." "All right, you two, that's quite enough," Nokoru said unsteadily, climbing back to his feet. "Enough fooling around. Someone has to cut down a tree!" "Maybe we could just gather some wood off the ground," Akira pointed out sensibly. "There's plenty of branches and such..." Nokoru sighed. "It just doesn't have the same impact if you just pick up the wood, Akira. You have to cut it down yourself, or you don't get that true camping feel going. There's no such thing as a camping trip without chopping down a tree for wood!" Suoh stared. <Where did he get THAT idea from? No more adventure novels for him...> "Oh. Of course." Akira clapped his hands together. "Kaichou knows everything!" "If you were this serious about your WORK, Kaichou," Suoh began accusingly, "we'd never have any problems with backlog or--" "LOOK! Doesn't it look like rain over there?" "You can't distract me THAT easily, Kaichou--" "I could cut down the tree!" The older boys looked at Akira, who watched them with shining eyes. He looked perfectly serious. Suoh stifled his skepticism. "Are you sure, Ijyuin? You really think you can--" "How hard can it be, Takamura-senpai?" he asked practically. "You swing the axe at the tree as hard as you can, right?" Suoh sweatdropped. "There's a bit more to it than THAT, but..." "Why don't you give it a try, Akira?" Nokoru said gamely. "If you can't, then I'll take a turn." "NO!" "And then, if all else fails, perhaps we'll go back to the cabin and ask Shigeru-san to do it after all," Nokoru finished, ignoring Suoh's outburst. "I just don't think we ought to strain Suoh's wound." Akira took the axe from Suoh before he could protest. <I just hope both of them end up with all their respective limbs attached!> Suoh thought grimly as he watched Akira size up a fairly thin tree. The fourth-grader swung the axe awkwardly, and it skidded off to one side, taking a handful of bark but not actually marking the tree. <We're going to be here all night, aren't we?> *** By the time they got back to the cabin, it was almost eleven. Akira was stronger than Suoh had given him credit for, but he didn't like the axe itself - he said it 'felt' wrong to him to swing a weapon at all. They found Rei and Shigeru sitting side-by-side under a window. The trio of friends paused, and Suoh asked hesitantly, "What are you doing outside?" "They won't let us be in their room," Rei said, sniggering. "So as a compromise, we're sitting outside the window of their room." "They're involved in a flaming and passionate liplock," Shigeru informed them, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Oh." <Wish I hadn't asked.> "Don't let it bug you, it isn't anything serious," Shigeru elaborated, seeing Suoh's flat expression. "Omi does this with everybody." Akira blinked. "What?" "It's true," the oldest Takamura cousin said, shrugging. "You could be his next victim. And if I gave him a fraction of a chance, he'd be involved in a flaming and passionate liplock with ME. He's just entertaining himself at his own expense." "His own? Are you sure?" Rei demanded suddenly. "I mean, if I try and stop her she'll just slap me again, but I can't let her start something that'll hurt her." "His own expense," Shigeru confirmed. "Omi's a moron. He likes making girls fall for him, but hates the way they act afterwards - but he knows it's his own fault, and never blames anybody but himself. So he's always very gentle with them when he gets to the part about how it means nothing to him. 'Sides, your little Wakaba's just a kid. He wouldn't do anything more than some heavy petting with her." Rei considered this and nodded his acceptance. Suoh was both alarmed and relieved to see Nokoru doing the same thing - he hadn't realized Kaichou had been on the verge of a Damsel-In-Distress moment, but he was very glad to see it had been passed over harmlessly. "That's rather strange," Akira commented dubiously. "Why would he make them like him if he didn't want them to act that way?" "I sure as hell don't know," Shigeru said flatly. "It's frustrating as anything, though, 'cause he keeps getting angry at ME once he's done playing games. I think he's just a mental case." Abruptly, Kasumi dropped off the roof on his lap, causing the much older boy to choke on his own air. "Who's a mental case?" she snarled. "Omi, naturally! What's your problem, you little monkey?" Shigeru shouted after he recovered. Kasumi thought about this for a moment. "Well, that's all right, then." She cast a quick glance at Nokoru, a meaningful glance at Suoh, and loped over to the door. Suoh sighed. <I think I've traumatized her for life.> The three of them entered the cabin behind her, carrying their wood. Almost without thinking about it, Suoh blocked the arrows heading for Nokoru and Akira with a single log, then threw it into the meager fire that had been started in their absence. Nokoru turned to stare at Meri, who was spread out in front of the fire and pretending to make bloody snow angels on the floor while Ryoko snarled at her to keep still so she could bandage the wounds. "I don't know how much longer I can deal with your family, Suoh," Nokoru said seriously as they retired to their own room. Suoh darted for one corner and - very carefully - caught a poisonous-gas pellet. He placed it very gently outside the window and closed it firmly. "Same here," he volunteered. "There's a hole in the floor, Takamura-senpai," Akira said blankly, staring into the walk-in closet. "Why?" "Just in case someone like Wakaba-san was fool enough to use those," Suoh answered. "With only a single night, only an obsessive-compulsive would even bother to set up the closets." Akira closed the closet doors. "Your family's Hokkaido cabin is very strange," he said after a long moment. "It suits them."</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>