http://clampfix.fanworks.net/ccd-fix/darkness.txt </head><body><pre> It was cold. It was dark. The sky was weeping, and the boy beneath the sky, receiving its tears, was miserable -- his heart bleeding in an ever-suffered pain. He would never, he knew, again be so happy and warm as he had been... not here. Not now. Not anymore, or ever again. The tears of the sky pattered down, cold in the wintertime, and splashed on his face, then on the bouquet of white weeping roses he carried, then on the ground. His own tears splashed in the mud too, but they were hot and not cold. They didn't reflect the way he felt, the way the Campus felt to him these days. This place was set a long way back from the rest of the school. It was well-hidden, and if you didn't know how to get here, there was no way you could ever find it. Even in the miserable rain it was beautiful, like Kaichou wanted. CLAMP Gakuen Tanteidan "DARKNESS" by Kristin Huntsman released 12/25/97 Akira stopped as he came into the clearing. There was someone else already there, at the grave, and it wasn't anyone who should have been there. The woman had her back turned to him, but he could tell that her black dress must have been very expensive, that her fiery hair was styled by an expert. Kaichou would have been able to figure out more, he thought as his own hair plastered to his face. The woman crumpled to her knees on the ground underneath the tree and Akira gasped, thinking she was hurt. He ran forward, then stopped a few feet behind her, hearing her sobs. "Um... are you hurt?" he asked hesitantly. She turned towards him sharply, not having noticed his presence before. Black eyes focused sharply on him and the tears in them turned to fierce anger in a heartbeat. "Who are you?!" she demanded, tone sharp and dangerous. "I'm Akira Ijyuin," he replied, automatically shifting into a "ready" stance at what he heard in her voice. This woman, here at this grave -- she had no idea of what she was violating. If she wanted to fight, he would. Here with Kaichou.... She paused, and the anger faded. She turned her head away. "Oh. I see. You're one of his friends...." She stood. "I'm sorry. I'll leave you." She took an unsteady step away into the rain and mud, then another. "Wait--!" Akira cried. The woman stopped. "Did you... did you know him?" Akira bit his tongue to try to keep back his sudden tears. "...Did you know Kaichou?" "Yes," she said, voice rough. "I knew him. I was going to ask him if he'd marry me, in a couple years... when he was old enough." Her speech dropped to a whisper. "He'd told me he might answer 'yes' when I did." "Please," Akira whispered in return. If she had known Kaichou, she had a right to be here. He wanted someone else to share this loneliness with. "Please stay...." Between them, like a dream deferred, was the burial space of Nokoru Imonoyama, aged fourteen. It had been there for three years. "You know how he died?" the young man, Ijyuin-kun, asked Casablanca. They had taken shelter from the freezing rain, sitting underneath the tree that protected Nokoru's grave from the elements. "Yes," she whispered without spirit. "Kidnapped, tortured... then...." She couldn't say the words; her voice broke down. "Stabbed to death," Ijyuin-kun supplied for her, a crack in his voice. He didn't let the pain break him down, though. She found that quite admirable, given the circumstances. Three years and she couldn't claim the same. "But he still made us rescue Utako-san and Nagisa-san first." "It cost him his life. That gallant behavior...." Casa's voice wavered too terribly again and she buried her head in her arms. "Damn him. He should have known that not everyone who would kidnap him was going to be like me. He should have known...." <Three years and he's still the center of my world... and a very large part of this boy's too....> "You must have loved him very much." She looked up. "Who didn't?" she whispered. "He was the first person I'd ever kidnapped who was nice to me and forgave me." "You kidnapped him?" "Several times." Ijyuin laughed weakly. "I wonder what else he 'forgot' to tell Takamura-sempai and me." Casablanca looked up, startled. "Takamura? A boy with blue hair and deadly skill in martial arts?" She remembered that name from the first time she'd ever kidnapped Nokoru... the boy he had been with at the time. The one who had made a humiliating mess of her plans. "You know Takamura-sempai?" Ijyuin-kun asked, gray eyes large. Casa nodded, suddenly sad again. "We met once or twice." Ijyuin leaned forward. "Do you know where he is now?!" he demanded. She leaned back a little at the vehemenance of his question. "N-no. Why?" Ijyuin's gray eyes filled with quiet pain again as he leaned back. "He's missing," the boy whispered, looking away. "He vanished six months after... no one knows where, or how." "But you do," Casa said with strong surety in her voice. "You know why." The boy glanced up at her quickly, then back down at the ground. "When we found where they had taken Kaichou... it took us three days. *Us*! We were supposed to be the best -- and it took us too long. They had him and Nagisa-san and Utako-san in one room together." His voice dropped to a whisper. "They'd had them watch what they did to Kaichou... neither of them will ever forget... how could anyone?" // Nokoru's breath sounded ragged in the otherwise-quiet cell. Utako shuddered, unwilling to open her eyes and look at Nokoru-sama... to see what had been done to him. She and Nagisa had run out of tears the night before. Nagisa's soft voice had broken and not returned. Utako wanted to hold her, comfort her, but they were all chained on different walls of the room. At least they hadn't been so much as touched.... Utako shuddered again, willing the thought away, wanting nothing more than Twenty Mensou to come and steal her away from this place, to take her and Nagisa-chan and Nokoru-sama back to the school.... <Akira-kun!> she wished with all her heart. "They'll be here soon," Nokoru-sama suddenly spoke, a casuality in his voice that Utako knew was forced. It *sounded* forced. "And then we can go home and have some ice candy...." Nagisa looked up from where she was slumped against the wall, her large pale-gray eyes hollow and echoing. She had nothing left, Utako realized, looking at her friend. Nagisa was a pale flower, needing shelter... needing Takamura-sama. She would likely go insane in a few hours. "I hope you're right," Utako said quietly to Nokoru. "I'm so very tired of this room...." She took his acting as a cue, trying to make light of their situation for Nagisa's sake. "Heh," Nokoru laughed, then winced as even that slight motion made his injuries flare in pain. After the first few sessions, the pain had died away to a dull background ache that he could ignore. If he didn't move. <Suoh... Akira... you'd better get here soon,> he thought fervently, trying to reach out with senses he didn't possess and feel their presences. Nagisa wasn't going to make it much longer without irreparable damage to her psyche. Utako, despite her bravery, wasn't that much better. <At least... they didn't touch the girls,> he thought in gratitude, closing his eyes and slumping a little in his bonds. <If they'd hurt them... violated Utako-kaichou and Nagisa-san the way they did me....> His body still hurt from *that*. Their use of his body... he'd tuned it out. <If I survive this...> he began with a certain wry humor, then focused on the word "if," knowing how low that possibility was. <Oh Gods.> He lowered his head, not wanting Utako or Nagisa to see it as his eyes flooded and blinded him. He fought against letting the tears break free but couldn't help it as one or two slipped past him. <Suoh... Akira... I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I met either of you... you should never have gotten involved with me, with this life that I live. Neither should Utako-kaichou or Nagisa-san....> That one tear running down his left cheek... it slipped, fell into space, fell to splash distantly on the floor. He listened to Utako's intake of breath as she heard that quiet sound in this quieter place. This room.... <Hell is as silent as this,> he thought, not raising his head. Nagisa started moaning deep in her throat, and Nokoru knew then that they had lost the battle against time. Suoh ran through the corridor, Ijyuin hot on his heels. Almost there... just one more turn.... The door. There. It was a matter of heartbeats to pick the lock and follow Ijyuin in. He stopped short with a gasp, as did Ijyuin. Kaichou was chained to the wall opposite the door, his body cut, bleeding, bruised... one arm looked to be dislocated, the other broken in at least one place.... Suoh's mind refused to process the rest, registering only the fact that those were wet tears on Nokoru's set face. "Get them out of here," Nokoru ordered him and Ijyuin at once, his stark blue eyes determined. Taken aback by the fierceness of that tone, Suoh obeyed. "Ijyuin!" He tossed one of his lockpicks to the other boy as they split to the two walls where Utako and Nagisa were chained. Nagisa was not doing well. She started rocking slowly back and forth as Suoh undid her restraints, not making a sound. Shocked, he raised his eyes to meet Nokoru's. "Get her out of here," the other boy hissed, those hard blue eyes making it a command. "Both of them. *Now*!" Ta-ka-mu-ra-sa-n. He was he-re. She felt him carrying her. He was warm. They left the awful-place, where those awful-people had done awful-things to I-mo-no-ya-ma-sa-ma. Why were they leaving him? Maybe they couldn't free him. She retreated inside at that, not wanting to face it. If Ta-ka-mu-ra-sa-n and I-jyu-i-n-sa-n couldn't and wouldn't help I-mo-no-ya-ma-sa-ma.... Her world was dust. And so was she. "Ijyuin, stay with them!" Suoh ordered as he carefully set Nagisa-san to the ground, turning even as he spoke, running back inside for Nokoru. Nokoru opened his eyes, not surprised to see the tall shadow of a person standing before him. "Such a sweet boy," that person whispered, a voice like sheafs of parchment sliding against one another... dusty, dry. His gloved hand caressed Nokoru's cheek. "I'm afraid this dance must come to an end, Imonoyama-kun. You've been a wonderful partner. I'm almost afraid to think what you might have become as an adult." "Heh...." Nokoru breathed that sigh of amusement. He had seen this correctly, played the possibilities through to that only conclusion. "So I die." The figure shrugged, thin in black. "You, unlike those girls, could find me and bring me low. Therefore I simply cannot allow you to escape. It's nothing personal, of course. Simply a fact of survival." Nokoru lowered his head, afraid not for himself but for Suoh, Akira, Nagisa, Utako... they would be the ones affected by this the most. They were still children, sheltered children who had never had to face death before -- let alone murder. <Please be merciful to them,> he begged of any gods who might listen to the prayer of an Imonoyama. <Please take care of them for me....> "It's nothing personal, you understand," the figure repeated in that papery voice as the knife slipped easily between Nokoru's ribs, into his heart. The darkness crept over him slowly. He was aware of the figure pulling the knife back out, sheathing it, leaving the room. He was aware of his own gasps for a breath that would not quite come, of the hot blood spilling down his body from the wound. He was aware of the distant running footsteps in the corridor and recognized their cadence. <Suoh...> he thought, his bleeding heart aching for what his friend would discover here. <Forgive me....> He slipped away into darkness then. Welcoming rest, Nokoru went home. Suoh stopped. The bright figure in the manacles was slumped, issuing no movement that Suoh could see. He wasn't breathing. And blood flowed down his body from a new wound, one that hadn't been there only minutes before. "KAICHOU!!!" Four shuriken cut through the iron chains; Suoh caught Nokoru as he fell, lowering them both to the floor. He felt for a pulse. There was none. He tried mouth-to-mouth, he tried to staunch the wound. His fingers covered in Kaichou's hot blood. No. No. ................ Suoh whimpered, refusing to comprehend it. He slowly began rocking back and forth, cradling Nokoru's body in his lap. "...kaichou..." he whispered over and over again. It was a mantra. It was a name. It was all that was left of his friend. // "I think," Ijyuin said slowly, "Takamura-sempai went insane from it, the way Nagisa-san did. Kaichou was his charge and his best friend and he felt like he'd failed in everything that mattered." Two minutes more, thought Casablanca... two minutes more and these boys would have been able to save Nokoru as well. It was so unfair.... "At least," Ijyuin murmured, his knees drawn up to his chest. "At least Nagisa-san is getting better...." There seemed to be nothing more to say. Together in their mourning, Casablanca and Akira Ijyuin left the gravesite. Suoh watched as Ijyuin and Casablanca-san left the clearing. Not until they were well gone did he move from his shadow-position in the tree. Not making a whisper of noise, he dropped to the ground. He might almost do his ancestor proud. "Kaichou," he murmured, kneeling at the foot of the grave, bowing his head in obeiscance. He wanted to wait, to pretend to hear that voice again, asking him "What is it, Suoh?" That voice didn't exist anymore. All games were futile. "I found them," he whispered. "I found the ones who killed you. I will take retribution on them. When their organization is dead, my vengance will be complete; I will be able to allow you the peace you deserve." There was no answering voice, no cheerful reply. There should have been, but there never would be. The person buried in the grave had been dead for three years, years Suoh had spent honing himself in preparation. The tears Ijyuin had almost drowned himself in had lasted a week without ceasing; Suoh hadn't shed a one. He had been too busy trying to ignore the pain by laying out his plans. He would not cry now, he vowed to himself. He absolutely would not cry. A man did not cry - a warrior did not cry. He was too close to his goal to let emotions interfere now. His eyes were brimming. "You... heard what Ijyuin said about me?" he questioned into the soft sound of the rain. "I suppose he is right in some regard. Perhaps I have gone insane. But - I think also that I have a right to. A samurai has no place without a master. Without you, Kaichou, I am ronin. The only thing I know of that will fill the emptiness inside me is vengance. It is not the path you would have chosen, but I am not you. I could never be you." The first tear broke, rolled down the curves of his face, fell. It was like Kaichou - perfect, falling free through space for a brief eternity, then smashed to sparkling bits against the hardness of the ground. He turned that thought aside before the possibility of breakdown even approached him. Suoh touched his hand to the sakaba-tou at his side. "This was my great-grandfather's," he murmured. "He was the greatest warrior in all of Japan during his life. Without his aid, the Meiji restoration would likely have failed." The rain pattered softly, listening. "He turned his sword to the side of peace, walked away from being an assassin. After a time he married my great-grandmother and changed his surname to the one I have now." Suoh took a breath. This was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. But it was the only thing to do. "I relinquish this sword, Kaichou. It is a sword of peace, never meant to be used to kill, but only to defend. I am no longer pure enough of heart to carry it, and I will not defile it or the memory of my ancestors by using it to kill." A cool breeze swirled through the rain, touching Suoh's hair and the back of his neck. "Forgive me, Kaichou." The rain stopped slowly as Suoh knelt there, until there was no more sound. "They won't catch me," he murmured. "I am ninja." In the time it took for his final tear to fall from his cheek to the ground, Suoh Takamura was gone from the glade like he had never been there. Left behind, wrapped carefully to keep it from rust or damage until the next day arrived and Ijyuin came again to find it there, was the sakaba-tou that for four generations had held the honor of the Takamura clan. --- Author's notes: I realize that it's likely inappropriate to be releasing a DarkFic on Christmas day; however, this story is something I've been working on for a little while. It has been pointed out to me that using both "ninja" and "samurai" to describe Suoh seems a bit contradictory, but I believe he is in the unique position of being able to be described as both. It has also been said by the loyal friends who go through rough drafts and yell at me about poor grammar that the story does not seem to have an "ending"... to me it does. The "end" of it, if you will, is that Suoh will succeed in his mission and never forgive himself for it. He will have become that which is repulsive to him, someone who has killed another human being, and the true tragedy of it is the fact that being the way he is, he had no other choice but to act in the way he did. "Casablanca" is the name the CLAMP Gakuen Tanteidan television series gave to the woman who kidnapped Suoh and Nokoru when they first met. In the series, Nokoru allowed himself to be kidnapped by her again several years later for a weekend - he even told her while escaping that he had to get back for school. He did conveniently *not* mention this escapade to Suoh and Akira. ^^; And for those who think they might not have been imagining it, yes, the ancestor Suoh mentioned *is* Himura Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin. Kenshin married Kaworu in this version; it explains the blue/black of Suoh's hair. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. </pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>