***

Disclaimer: CCS belongs to some Japanese people who aren't me. Please don't sue. I don't get paid to write angst-ridden romances. Really.

Author's Notes: Takes place after the second CCS movie, which should happen right after episode 71 (the last episode). There will be references to some information from the manga that never gets dealt with in the anime series, but I don't expect any of you guys to have seen that, so I'll be sure explain things.

Rating: PG-13 (there is a lot of implied sex and violence, but I won't get too graphic)

'Ships: S/S of course; also TK/Y, EH/Y, TD/KM, EH/KM, and TD/EH (eventually)

Symbols: flashbacks/visions- *~*

chapter breaks- ***

notes- **

***

Chapter One-Eriol-kun's True Feelings

"Good Morning!" Tomoyo chirped, exchanging her outside shoes for her school ones and then closing her locker door.

"Good morning, Daidouji-san," Li replied, using his friend's last name out of instinct. It was funny, really. Besides Sakura, Daidouji was probably his best friend in all of Tomoeda. And yet... and yet he just couldn't bring himself to be on a first-name basis with her, despite all that they'd been through together. It was a habit, he reflected. For the longest time, nobody had been allowed to call him by his first name besides his family and his cousin, Mei Lin, who had once been his fiancé. And then, eventually, Sakura. But... Sakura was Sakura, and one really couldn't deny her anything. Denying Sakura something was like trying to tell the sun that it wasn't allowed to shine because you were in a bad mood. She'd pretend to listen to you, and perhaps keep her distance for all of five minutes... and then try to cheer you up anyway. Because that was sweet kind of person that she was. And he, personally, wouldn't have her any other way.

Li Syaoran took his usual place in class, near the back in the seat behind Sakura and Tomoyo's. He opened his book, intent on skimming through the last few pages of reading that he was supposed to have done by next period, when his thoughts drifted to the absent girl who usually sat in front of him....

Ten seconds later, Sakura burst in the door, panting. "Phew! Onaya-sensei isn't here yet! I guess that means I just made it!" She zipped over to where her friends sat. "Hello Tomoyo-chan, Syaoran-kun!" **Note: "sensei" in japanese means "teacher".**

After three years of being an item, she still managed to floor him with her smile. And the fact that she was panting from the exertion of her quick dash to school didn't help his self-control either. "H... hi," he managed, turning several shades of pink, each darker than the last.

Most kids in grade nine would probably have taken the oppourtunity to greet their boyfriend with a kiss in homeroom, but Sakura was too gentle a soul to do anything quite as obnoxious as that in front of everyone. So she gave him a hug instead, and then plopped down in her seat, searching through her book-bag as she did, frowning. "Onii-chan didn't have any time to make breakfast this morning, which is odd, because it was his turn. And I could have sworn that I packed myself an apple in---KERO-CHAN!" She hollered.

The entire classroom turned around, staring at Sakura's sudden outburst. She giggled and clutched her schoolbag to her chest, holding it closed tightly. "-Is the name of the character in the story I wrote for next day's class, isn't it funny, ha ha?"

"He snuck into your bag and ate your apple, didn't he?" Tomoyo whispered.

"Yeah," Sakura whispered back. "I'm going to hide all his favourite video games when I get home!"

"About stories," began Yamazaki-kun, liar extraordinaire. "The first story to have ever been recorded was found by archeologists back in the 1950s. It was etched onto a piece of rock at around 56 A.D. by a member of the prehistoric Omishi tribe...."

"Re-really?" Sakura asked, transfixed. She, Syaoran and Tomoyo watched Yamazaki in amazement. He was always full of so many interesting facts. "What was it about?"

"That's actually a very amazing story. You see, back then, instead of cows, they ate dinosaurs that were very similar to cows, except they were larger and covered by scales-"

At about this time, Chiharu decided to show up. "Telling lies again!" She roared. "I'm very sorry about this," she nodded at Sakura and her friends before beginning to drag Yamazaki towards his seat at the front of the room nearest to the teacher's desk. (She'd been hoping that taking seats close to the teacher that year might help some real information soak in.)

"-And the best part about them, though, was that they were bigger, so they only had to go hunting about once a year, and then they'd have enough meat to feed the entire village-"

"Hai, Hai," **Note: in Japanese, "Hai" means yes, and Chiharu says this all the time.**

"-And in the summer, they'd dry the dinosaur skins outside in the sun and make themselves leather coats from the scales-"

"Yes, yes. Is that so?"

"That was a lie?" Sakura blinked, feeling duped. "Hey! I thought that after Eriol-kun left, Yamazaki-kun had stopped lying!"

"I... I'm not sure," her boyfriend answered, feeling confused himself.

Tomoyo giggled. "You two are the same. It's so cute!"

"I am not cute!" Li barked.

"Of course you are, Syaoran-kun!" Sakura gushed, leaping into the conversation somewhat blindly.

That innocent voice. The sheer earnesty of it. Li felt his annoyance at being called "cute" fade within a heartbeat. He could feel her eyes on him, her attention entirely focused on him, and suddenly it seemed like all his blood wanted to rush instantly in the direction of his... face. Right. His school uniform suddenly felt too hot. His stomach felt tingly.

"Uh... ok," He conceded. If Sakura found him cute, even if it did seem to undermine his manliness, hey, that was alright by him. He turned back and gave her a wobbly smile. Since they'd been in grade four together after he'd transferred over to Japan in search of the Clow Cards, she'd been able to make him blush. And... and... oh wow. She was wearing the pink ribbons he'd given her last week, the ones with the little teddy bears on them. They were different than the red ones she usually wore. He... he'd have to buy her more of those too, though. He liked them. They were part of what made Sakura... Sakura. And wow. She looked cute today. He suddenly felt the impulse to hold her tightly and never let her go. His heart constricted. But there were people around!

Sakura's cheeks went pink. "Syaoran-kun, Onaya-sensei's started talking," she whispered.

"Oh... yeah," He turned around reluctantly, pretending to pay attention to the early morning ramblings of their homeroom teacher. Something about a tennis tournament. He turned to his undone homework and resumed skimming. Whatever....

Tomoyo watched jealously as her best friend's smile continued to turn Syaoran's brains into mush. Oh, what she would do to have that smile directed towards her! To get that 'good morning' hug each day...! But she'd made a promise to herself, long ago, that the best thing for her happiness was to make sure that the person she loved most in the world was happy. And that required making sure that nothing came between her third cousin and her happiness. Of course, she mused, if Li ever was stupid enough to do anything that would hurt Sakura, she, Touya, and Yukito would be among the first in line to break his balls and periodically mail different pieces of his body to separate parts of the country.

Of course, Syaoran didn't need to know that.... Hopefully, she reflected, he'd have the brains to marry her. That thought sent Tomoyo-chan into a whole new wave of giggles. If Sakura and Li had children, she could make them baby clothes... "Hoooo hooo hoo hooo hoo hoo!"

Sakura eyed Tomoyo uneasily. "Hoeee... what is it, Tomoyo-chan?" She really did love her friend, but she had the weirdest laugh.

"I was just thinking about how much fun it would be if you two had babies!"

Syaoran looked about ready to faint. "You... you'd try and video-tape it, wouldn't you?

"Hooo hooo hooo hooo hooo hooo!"

***

Meanwhile, 30 000 kilometers across the earth, it was night.

It was pitch black when two bodies met in the darkness. The first is one who is cursed always to be who he is not, alone in a crowd; forever separate from the world around him.

The second is one who does not live his own life; created for a purpose that he can now only partially follow. Trapped in the life of another, like an invisible sort of older brother, condemned to watch from the outside looking in as the one who controls his body lives, laughs, loves. Yet he, he is expected to be on reserve, always watching, always hiding, always waiting. Trivial matters such as a personal life, a... love life are not what he was created for. At least, not intentionally.

The second man, even as he feels himself pulled toward another's strength, another's panting, rushing, soothing force... distantly he could still hear Keroberos' angry whining. "You both treat Yue better than me! Both you and Clow! He always treated him nicer than me."

Sakura, being young at the time, hadn't put two and two together. That was alright. Keroberos had never fully understood why, either, and he'd been around for centuries.

Preferential treatment.... Memories revisited, harder, faster than before, as the emotions whirling within him began to come to a head. Yue arched his back involuntarily as he reached a burning climax. Usually silent lips parted in an exclamation of hurt, longing, and joy. He had been abandoned... his master, his life, his love, his source, had died, leaving him to wander the earth, lost and alone and fading. Dying. So alone. Taking human form, attempting to forget, forget everything, he had sought solace in scores of fake lives, false identities, biding his time until he would be needed once again. But to no avail. Until... finally... now. Six years ago he had been awakened to discover that his other half had a lover, and along with that a surrogate family. But he, Yue, he had nothing. He was still alone.

Alone....

Eriol gazed sadly down at Yukito's sleeping body, the grey-haired teenager's chest rising and falling with each laboured breath. He looked like an angel in repose, but he was but a candle when held to the burning flame that was Yue. The young man smiled, but his face was sorrowful. "Dear friend." He said to the dozing figure. "You have other duties in life now. Your old master is gone, and I am a pale shadow whose purpose is ended. You must forget about me, and we must stop meeting like this." Hands traced in glowing blue light passed over the sleeping Guardian's false form, and there was a bright flash as the creation of another lifetime was instantly transported back across the Pacific Ocean. He would wake up in Tomoeda the next day with no memory of their meeting.

And then, alone, not for the first time since his memories had taken over one fateful night, the night when it had all began, he rolled over, hugged his pillow tightly, and cried. Clow Reed's spell of reincarnation had been powerful, and the memories were becoming stronger. It was becoming more and more difficult to send Yue back to where he belonged, to be alongside his true mistress and her brother, Touya, Yukito's lover. He sat up, wiping his tears away, resolved to save what was left of his magic that night to put up wards that would ban him from coming back at all. The temporary comfort was not worth hearing the one he loved calling a dead man's name out in bed.

***

"Touya-san?" It was a soft voice, almost too feminine for a male. It trickled down his spine like the sweetest of syrups.

"Mmnh?" Touya felt warm and sleepy. He could feel a soft pressure on his left side, naked skin against skin. There were fluffy pillows all around. He didn't have class until 2:00 in the afternoon. Why was Yuki trying to wake him up?

"Touya, you didn't go home last night," Yukito reminded him.

"So what?" Touya snapped defiantly. It wasn't as if his father didn't approve of their relationship. If anything, Yuki had been accepted as part of the family very early on. Sometimes he stayed over at their house, and sometimes Touya stayed over at his. It had been discussed. There wasn't a problem.

Yukito smiled his easy-going smile, a smile that Touya both loved and secretly hated, because it always meant that he was about to be proven wrong. "You said you had chores to do this morning."

"Oh no!" He sprung out of bed like a shot, and clothed only in his underwear, began to pull on his shoes. But wait, his pants! Argh. He began untying his shoes and pulling them off, searching for his pants. Crap! Where were they? And how was it that it was always possible to pull your shoes on without tying them, but never off? "What time is it?" He asked.

"Uh... 10:30?" Yuki supplied nervously.

"Ah." Touya slumped into sitting position on his friend-come-lover's bed, pulling on his pant legs, one at a time. "I was supposed to make breakfast today, but I suppose Father...." Wait. There was something he was forgetting, wasn't there?

"...is away on an archeological dig?"

"Which means that last night Sakura was left alone in the house." Touya concluded numbly. He'd vowed that he'd never leave her any privacy in the house again after she'd started seeing that brat! And now... his stomach turned.

"I don't think Sakura would do anything like that. She's a good girl."

"Yeah," Touya shrugged, feelings of brotherly overprotectiveness and, and pure RAGE still boiling through his veins, making his heart beat a little faster than usual.

"I'm sorry." Yuki pouted. "This probably wouldn't have happened... well, you know... before."

"Oh, don't even start."

"-But, if it weren't for me...."

"Yuki."

"-You were always able to tell if someone walked in the room, and who, and-"

"Yuki."

"-Not to mention it's impossible now for you to tailor your part-time jobs to fit where Sakura will be next-"

"Yuki."

"So," he finished with a smile, "you can't fulfill your sister complex!"

Touya blinked. That hadn't been the rant he was expecting. "That's it!" He spun around and lunged forward, pinning his best friend (with decided benefits) onto the bed. And began tickling with great fervor.

"Ahhh! Nooo-ha ha-- Stop!"

"I do not have a sister complex! Say it!"

"Noo! But it's true-ha ha-ahh I'm right, I'm right!" Yuki giggled, pushing his hands up at Touya's chest, pretending that he wanted to push him back off the bed. Truthfully, he was trying to manoeuver his friend lower, so that their hips would meet at just the right spot-

Touya's face flushed. "Oh... Yuki," he breathed, pulling his partner into a deep kiss.

Sakura was a good girl. She could take care of herself. She probably made herself breakfast and... she probably was at... at school already.... He was barely aware his thoughts, more intent on his beloved Yuki slowly unbuttoning his jeans, pulling him free of his underwear. "Ah!" He whimpered sorely as his deceptively petite friend clambered into position, paying deliberate attention to his now raging hard-on. The bruises on his back still hurt from the night before when his lover's other self had appeared, somewhat angered, and had thrown him into the wall adjacent to the bed. He'd hadn't bothered mentioning it to Yuki yet, but these strange outbursts were beginning to happen more and more often. Oh well. It wasn't as if Yuki could control Yue. And it would break his gentle heart to know that he'd caused Touya any harm... besides... he took a sharp intake of breath... this morning was more than making up for it.

Touya felt tired and dizzy and not the tiniest bit aroused. He ached in many places, some of which were more pleasant than others. Chores, he figured....

Chores could wait.

***

Eriol awoke the next morning to find his eyes red and puffy. He sighed exasperatedly, pulling on a robe and heading towards one of his mansion's many shower rooms. One of the benefits of being the heir to the Reed family fortune, he decided, was being filthy stinking rich. Slowly the fifteen year-old stripped off his sweaty pajamas piece-by-piece, throwing them in an uncharacteristically violent fashion into a crumpled disdainful-looking pile of sticky cloth that could just live by the sink for all he cared, until the maid came to take them away.

Someone had run him a bath. Given the attitudes of his serving staff, this was a pleasant surprise, but he was too shaken by the events of the evening before to really pay the gesture intense consideration. He'd been in the mood for a shower, himself, but he figured that a bath would soothe his nerves just as well so he slid in without a moment's thought.

"HEY!" Barked a loud voice suddenly. "Who locked the door? That's MY bath, in there! Oooh! I'm so angry!"

Eriol's eyes opened with a snap. He chuckled good-naturedly. "I'm afraid I have the washroom occupied at the moment. I'll be out shortly."

He heard some strangled noises as Ruby hesitated outside the door. On one hand, she was angry, and she wanted her bath. On the other hand, the bath was currently being occupied by her master, whose energy she fed off of and well, whom she grudgingly depended on in order to exist. "Uh... that... is alright, Eriol-kun," she called sweetly, edging away from the door as respectfully as she could. "Damnit," she muttered. "I was looking forward to that bath, too...." She trudged downstairs in search of solace. Solace in the form of ice-cream, preferably. "But he wouldn't have done that to Yue if he were here," she muttered tragically, her voice fading as she moved farther off down the hall. "...always liked him best."

Eriol held his breath and dunked his head entirely underwater, holding it under, blowing bubbles.

***

Spinel watched Ruby lazily from the kitchen table as she scooped a few large spoonfuls of double-chocolate fudge into the same carton as the last of the maple walnut. "Men are so cruel," she pouted, and dug in.

"You're going to get fat, you know!" The black cat-shaped Sun Guardian observed in a very smug tone of voice.

"Oh, quiet, or I'll force some down your throat and you'll become so hyper we'll have to take you to the vet."

"Mee-ow, that was a pretty catty remark," Spinel paused, sharpening his claws on a nearby placemat. "And coming from me, that means something."

"Eriol went and stole my bath!" The brunette pouted. In her false form, she looked like no more than an average human female. With an above-average waist-to-hip ratio, and an above-average bust size, but nonetheless, very ordinary. Weirdly enough, Eriol hadn't meant for her to be female, and anatomically, she wasn't... at least, not down there. Nobody was entirely sure what Ruby had down there, and nobody wanted to check. The moon guardian wore girl's clothing simply because it liked to. So, people just started referring to her one day as a "she".

Spinel, on the other hand, looked like a black kitten with bright purple wings, and would probably feel very out of place at the vet's. While in his false form, it was difficult to tell what gender he was, his true form sounded male, so it was assumed he was. It was also assumed he was feline, but this wasn't entirely the case. There had been one unfortunate incident for instance... he'd been sleeping in a park just outside the mansion and was mistakenly picked up by a local animal shelter. Getting him back had involved a lot of magical subterfuge, not to mention the tiniest bit of record-altering, memory-erasure, and support counseling for the magical creature....

"Hey!" Ruby recalled suddenly, wagging her finger at the small cat-like being. "Remember that time you got caught by the SPCA, and they almost dissected you for science?"

"We... well, that dress makes you look FAT!"

Eriol jolted in the tub at the sound of dishes breaking downstairs. He rolled his eyes. Clow had made himself such obedient Guardians. What had he done wrong with his?

***