http://clampfix.fanworks.net/ccs-fix/butterfly.txt </head><body><pre>Now, on to the fic. Oh, and thanks for all the comments on Babysitter. I wrote that in a hurry (and definite effects of an extreme sugar high) and I wasn't sure if it was any good. This is my first CCS fic. Please be kind. Don't kill me. //Song Lyrics// Butterfly Kisses by Shinri Ayase //There's two things I know for sure She was sent here from heaven And she's daddy's little girl// I remember when I first saw you. You were such a tiny thing - much smaller than your brother had been. I was almost afraid to touch you - you might break, I told Nadeshiko. She just laughed her tinkling laugh - the one you laugh now - and held you out to me. "Our daughter, Fujitaka," she said to me. And then, you were in my arms. Our daughter. My daughter. I had my very own baby girl, and I fell in love with her the moment I held her. You opened your eyes, and I witnessed a part of heaven being created in your eyes. At that moment, I realized that I was holding not a baby, but an angel... //As I drop to my knees by her bed at night She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes And I thank God for all the joy in my life// When your mother died, it broke my heart. It hurt me, as if a part of me had died as well. For a while, I hid behind a mask of cheerfulness. For Touya's sake. For your sake. I tucked away all the pain I felt, until it was unbearable. Until that one night. I don't know how you knew, but I suppose you and your brother would suspect, you seem to sense things normal people would not. You were kneeling by your bedside and you were crying. I thought you missed your mom, but I was wrong. You were talking to her. "'Kaasan," you whispered. "Please visit 'Tousan more. He's really sad because you're not living with us anymore. I want to be with you and know you, but he misses you, and I don't ever want to see 'Tousan sad." I cried then, angel. I cried because I realized what I still had. You and your brother - you are what your mother and I had lived for. You are our precious ones, and I knew then that all is not lost, that it was time to let go. I held you that night, and we were at your brother's room. You were wiping away my tears and asking me what was wrong. Touya called you a silly goose and rumpled your hair. Life then couldn't have been more beautiful. //But most of all for... Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair// The days after that had been increasingly happier. I never forgot to tuck you and Touya in every night (despite the fact that he had protested when he turned thirteen and his best friend Yukito started to sleep over). We would go to the park and and play fairy princess, you being the fairy, me being your knight in shining armor and your brother being the monster. There a sort of irony there, knowing that he later grew fond of calling you his monster. //"Walk beside the pony daddy It's my first ride I know the cake looks funny daddy But I sure tried"// There came a series of firsts while you grew up in front of my eyes. Your first pony ride. I remember you clutching on to the reins and panicking as a bee scared the horse. I was afraid that you would die. It was lucky that your brother is a quick thinker. I was lucky to have both of you with me, safe and sound. The first time you tried baking. I remember it was chocolate chip. You almost burned off your fingers, but you stood there valiantly, holding the hot tray with your small hands. Touya was the first to taste them. He was in the hospital for a week. But your cooking became better. The first time you tried to outrun me. My athletic little girl, you almost beat me that time. You knew then that your more remarkable talents lie in your ability to move as you please. I knew then that you were a free spirit. Touya would joke about you hitting him with a baton and causing him to lose some of the needed intelligence to pass a Math exam. Those memories I will always treasure in my heart. //Oh with all that I've done wrong I must have done something right To deserve a hug every morning And butterfly kisses at night// Many people may have thought I was selfish, selfish for marrying your mother, selfish for forcing her to live in such "terrible" conditions. Your mother was born into a rich family - I'm sure you've heard the story many times before. Sometimes I, too, doubt myself. I fell in love with your mother - one of my students - and I knew even then that if we marry, I will never be able to give her what her family could provide. When I married her, we were happy. When she died, I thought it may have been my fault for not providing for her a better life. But you and Touya were there with me all the way. Maybe Nadeshiko didn't mind, after all. Whatever the reason, I'm forever grateful and humbled. //Sweet sixteen today She's looking like her mama A little more everyday One part woman, the other part girl To perfume and make-up From ribbons and curls Trying her wings out In a great big world. But I remember...// You look so much like your mother, did you ever know that? That much Sonomi and I agree on. You have her eyes and her smile and her laugh. You are like your mother and so much more. While she had been fragile like a porcelain doll, you are a strong beauty, resilient and graceful like bamboo in the wind. Almost nothing fazes you, my angel, and even your brother agrees. But you, like most other children, grow up, and you begin to explore the world without your parents. //Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer Stickin' little white flowers up in her hair "You know how much I love you daddy But if you don't mind I'm only going to kiss you on the cheek this time"// I remember your first crush. It was Yukito, Touya's best friend. You thought I never knew, but I did. You would act flustered when he was around. Your brother loves to tease you so much that he almost deliberately drags the poor boy home just to watch you twitch. I've watched you the whole time, and it scared me. My baby girl is growing up, just like my baby boy. Somehow, that scared me even more than your brother's coming of age. Maybe because you're a girl. Maybe because you are so like your mother. Maybe because I knew then that I was going to lose you, the only living, breathing picture of my Nadeshiko. When you began to go out with that Li boy, I had to swallow back a lump in my throat. You were happy, and I don't want anything more. Of course, that's as long as he doesn't do anything "interesting" with you. I may be less vocal about it than Touya, but I empathize with him. //With all that I've done wrong I must have done something right To deserve her love every morning And butterfly kisses at night// Oh, but you never forgot to cry on my shoulder when you have a problem. Always the little girl at heart, my baby Sakura. Whenever I feel down about myself, I remember that you and your brother look up to me. I realize every time that I matter, that I'm important to someone, that I'm special. I love you and your brother so much, it hurts to look at you and remember that all things must come to an end. I remember you laughing, Sakura. "You'll always be my 'Tousan, no matter what," you say. And I feel much better. //All the precious time Like the wind, the years go by Precious butterfly, spread your wings and fly// So now you're all grown up. Twenty-two years old, laughing like your mother, eyes sparkling like two lakes witnessing the same sunsets. Your brother no longer calls you monster, but you still argue about many things. Your brother still adores you, you know, the way he did when he first saw you and said, "I'll always protect you, imouto-chan. I won't let anyone hurt you." I still adore you, too. You're my baby girl. You'll always be my baby girl. //She'll change her name today She'll make a promise And I'll give her away Standing in the bride room just staring at her She asked me what I'm thinking And I said "I'm not sure" I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl// So here we are. I'm looking at you now, you in your pristine wedding gown. You're so beautiful sweetheart, so heartbreakingly lovely. I know your mother's seeing you right now, and I know she's very proud. Today, you'll marry Li Syaoran, your childhood sweetheart. You'll move to Hong Kong with him. You'll have lots of children...I'll be a grandfather. I'll go home and I won't be able to see your smile on a regular basis. I won't have a fairy princess to rescue anymore. She had found another knight. You see the tears in my eyes and ask me why I was crying. I say nothing, not wanting to ruin your special day. Tomoyo is taping the whole thing, and I feel a little embarrassed by my tears. But I see your brother crying at the corner of my eye, Yukito comforting him. And I let the tears fall. And then, right behind you, I see Nadeshiko smiling, forever beautiful, forever young. She strokes your hair and fusses over you. I cry even more. //And then she leaned over and gave me Butterfly kisses with her mama there Stickin' little white flowers up in her hair "Walk me down the aisle daddy it's just about time Does my wedding gown look pretty daddy Daddy don't cry"// You kiss me one last time as we prepare to walk down the aisle. I look at you nervously, taking in everything about you. My baby girl, all grown up and getting married. Memories flood over me. When I first held you. Your first step. Your first word (Niisan). Your first gift (a little pink dress). Your first prayer. Your first pony ride. Your first cooking expedition. Your first race. Your first day at school. Your first best friend. Your first crush. Your first love. Your first date. Your first kiss. Your laugh. Your smile. Your eyes. Your hair. The way you say "hoe?" The way you argue with Touya. I took a deep breath and held your hand for the last time. Be happy sweetheart, promise me that. //For all I've done wrong I must have done something right To deserve her love every morning And butterfly kisses I couldn't ask for more, man, this is What love is I know I've got to let go// At the departure area of the airport, you give me and Touya a nice, long hug. You cry and say, "I'll miss you, always." Your brother shakes his head and tells you, "We'll miss you too. But you have to go." Words of courage from my son. I squeeze your hand and say "Go to your husband now. A good wife won't keep him waiting for hours, especially if you have a flight." And then you turn and walk away. It hurts, but my heart swells with pride. My baby girl had grown up, and we had a wonderful life together. That is something to be proud of. //But I'll always remember Every hug in the morning And butterfly kisses at night// Owari The song belongs to...I forgot, but the first time our English teacher let us hear this, I cried and thought of Kinomoto Fujitaka. C&C, onegai?</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>