http://clampfix.fanworks.net/ccs-fix/bymoon2.txt </head><body><pre>I forgot to say I rewrote TnY (the first part in the whole messy line). Reading it would make things clearer for confused folks who haven't. :) http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Villa/3143/ficcies/ccs-tamashii.html This is a bit draggy, so please bear with me. ^^; It was necessary to think this up in order for the whole timeline to flow smoothly, and besides, I had so much fun writing it. ^_^; ---------------------------------------------------------- By Moonlight II: Apart ----------------------------------------------------------- The words were blurred. Paragraph after paragraph merged into moving dots of printed ink, tiny too-black ants running across a huge too-white page. He blinked, and the pen promptly dropped out from his numbed fingers. Yukito took that as a sign not to continue studying. Shutting the textbook, he took off his glasses and slowly rubbed his eyes. He didn't know why he was always so tired these days. It had got to the point where it was possible for him to drop off even when he was walking, or doing anything else. It scared him. A lot. It was so bad that To-ya insisted on seeing him home every day to make sure he didn't black out while crossing the roads. He'd been having the strangest dreams, recently. Something about a plane crash, a little boy who had been badly hurt. He had no idea whom that boy was--every time he woke up just before seeing his face. Everything was clouded, as if he saw it through a thick fog. Yet every time he dreamed it seemed to get a little clearer. And in those dreams a figure was always present, someone with huge white wings and long, long hair, whose back was always to him. He didn't know why it seemed so familiar. Had he seen it somewhere before? In a painting perhaps, or a book, or... His head hurt. Maybe he was going too deep into this; lack of sleep and an overactive mind could produce strange results. Did it really matter? He knew he wouldn't have been able to manage of late if To-ya hadn't been there. But he hated to be a burden to him, though he was aware his best friend had never viewed him as one. He dropped his face into his hands, wearily closing his eyes. He had no idea what had happened last Monday night when he had gone to see To-ya, except that he had conked out as soon as he entered the room and To-ya had had to let him have his bed for the rest of the night. He didn't even know *why* he had gone to see him. He'd just...wanted to. Wanted to. He looked out at the crimson-streaked evening sky, and thought that he wanted to see To-ya again. Maybe he was going mad. ~~~~ Tap, tap, tap. Once, twice, three times. Dark blue eyes blinked. He walked over and opened the glass pane, raising a dark brow at the slim figure outside. "You *could* inform me of these midnight calls beforehand," he said dryly. "Save me the worry. I do not want to know what 'Tou-san and Sakura would think if they happened to be awake and saw you climbing the tree. Or falling out of it." Yukito smiled wanly. "I really am sorry. I just - wanted..." "Yuki." He briefly touched his friend's hand, noting with an inward frown how strangely transparent it was in the moonlight. "It doesn't matter. Get in before you catch a chill." "Thank you." The silver-haired boy stepped through the window somewhat unsteadily, and he hastily reached out a hand to him as he slid the glass back into place. Yuki looked so *tired*. That was the most noticeable thing. The frown slipped onto his lips as he ran a searching gaze over him, seeing faint shadows under dull hazel eyes and the unnatural pallor of his skin. "I think you've lost weight," he commented. A feeble attempt at a laugh. "You're imagining things, To-ya." "You look like hell," bluntly. "What have you been doing?" "Nothing...maybe that's the problem." "You ought to be home sleeping," he accused, "not gate-crashing my room at this unholy hour." Those gold-hazel eyes were issuing a silent plea, begging him to do something, but what? His head was beginning to throb from the whole situation. With a sigh, he turned to take out an extra blanket from the cupboard. "Since you're here...you might as well spend the night again." Light exploded behind him. "Thank you," a soft, husky voice replied. He yelped and whirled around. Yuki's alter ego shook out his hair, folded his wings, and blinked at his disgruntled expression. "Don't *do* that," Touya said grumpily. "Don't do what?" "Transform when my back's turned. It's freaky." Yue considered this. "All right." His mouth twitched. "Do you often do this to Yuki? I mean, change forms on your own whim?" A slight frown. "Not unless it's imperative." Touya quirked a brow. "So right now it's imperative?" "...Yukito is his own person. I only share his body." "That wasn't what I asked," he said quietly. Yue didn't answer immediately. Luminous violet orbs met his gaze, holding an expression uncannily similar to the one in Yukito's eyes earlier. Anguish, and a wordless cry for help. "I try to exert my control over Yukito only when I have to. In any case I wasn't able to transform until Sakura was ready for the Judgement. But you..." he broke off, falling silent. "I what?" Touya gently prompted. A shake of the snowy head. "You and my mistress are the only people in Yukito's life who confuse me. It's got to the point where I can't separate my feelings about you from Yukito's." He reached out to catch hold of a pale hand, drawing it to his chest and placing it directly on his heart. "Then what do both of you feel?" Violet eyes reflected fear. "...I don't know." Touya eyed him reflectively for a moment, then pulled him into a soft hug. "Oi. Relax. There's nothing to be scared of." But the body in his arms was stiff and tense, and he rubbed a soothing hand down the white-clad back. "You don't have to be afraid of anything with me." "Do you mean that?" A wondering murmur. "Of course." Yue shook his head again. "Sometimes I have to remind myself that you're not him." He blinked. "Who?" "...Clow." A pause. "My previous master and creator." "He made you?" Yue nodded. "Then I need to thank him." A wink, mouth quirking into a lopsided smile. Yue smiled too, but his eyes were suddenly clouded. "That's only because of Yukito, isn't it?" "Why would you think that?" A half-smile. "You love him. Anyone with eyes can see it." "Then what makes you think I don't care about you?" Yue stiffened abruptly. "...Why would you?" "Why wouldn't I?" Raised brow, questioning. "Because you've got no reason to." "But I do," he said, tightening his hold on the slender frame. "I like you because you're you. Isn't that reason enough?" Amethyst eyes widened, the look in them warring between bewilderment and suspicion. Fear. "But - why do you like me?" Exasperation. "You don't need reasons to like anybody." Then as Yue still stared at him blankly, he sighed and added, "But if you insist, you're a very kind and sensitive person, and you care about Yuki even though his life is practically in your hands. Happy?" Silence. "...Are you making fun of me?" "No," Touya deadpanned. "You don't get it, do you." "I don't," Yue admitted. "But I do know the only reason you like me is because I saved Yukito, isn't it?" "Yue." He rolled the name on his tongue, tasting its light crispness. "It's true one reason I like you is because you let Yuki live, but I meant what I said just now. I like you for yourself. Can't you believe that?" Silence. Pale lids shuttered amethyst eyes, then rose again. "I don't know if I can, but...thank you." "Welcome." He stroked Yue's back again, felt him relax with satisfaction. The white head came to rest on his shoulder, and he moved up to run his hand through impossibly fine strands of silver-pearl, feeling them slide silkily through his fingers. A soft sigh. "Clow used to do this." "He meant a lot to you, didn't he." Not questioning, just stating. "I loved him," Yue said simply. "He meant everything to me. That is, until he left me." Dark blue eyes narrowed, but Touya kept silent, continuing to stroke the softly glowing hair. Yue sighed again, talking almost to himself. "I hated him then for leaving like that, for forcing me to choose a new master when I didn't want anyone except him...but I don't think I'm angry anymore. Maybe he was right, after all. If he hadn't done what he had, I wouldn't have met Yukito or my mistress -" he paused, looking up almost shyly " -and you." He grinned. "I'm flattered." Without warning, the Judgement Maker suddenly pressed closely against him, twining long arms around his waist. He started in surprise. "Yue?" "Will you love me?" It was hardly above a whisper. Touya blinked. That couldn't have meant... "I do love you," he carefully replied, his voice neutral. Slim, pale hands reached up to pull his head down. And then Yue was kissing him for the second time, long and full and sweet. So sweet. On finally pulling away for breath, his eyes were dark lavender and full of promise. "Will you love me?" he repeated again, and this time his meaning was unmistakable. Touya looked at him incredulously. "Isn't this a little...sudden?" < Not that you mind, > a small voice in his head snidely remarked, but he ignored it. Yue didn't know what he was asking for. And as much as he wanted what he was being offered, he would never take advantage of Yuki's other self, this ethereal creature in front of him who radiated innocence in his moonlit beauty. He shook his head, putting a slight distance between himself and the white-clad figure. "I can't give you that," he said gently. "It wouldn't be right." "Why not?" Hurt; anger and slight betrayal. "Is that what you *really* want?" He tenderly cupped the elfin face in one hand, gazing straight into bright amethyst eyes. "You said yourself you don't know what you feel for me. I can't and won't be a substitute for your master because I care too much about you to do that." For a few moments Yue stared at him, then exhaled resignedly, shoulders slumping. "I'm sorry." "Don't be." He smiled. "Want to share my bed tonight? Only the bed." And suddenly both of them were laughing. ~~~~ An hour later, Tsukishiro Yukito awoke to find himself lying on Touya's bed, his best friend peacefully slumbering next to him. How strange, a tiny part of him mused, but he hardly noticed that. His whole soul was crying out in protest at the knowledge revealed to him through the dream-mist that had lifted so short a while ago. The last of Yue's seals had been broken. With the blackness tearing at his heart, he silently got out of bed without disturbing Touya and opened the window. He shinnied down the tree easily, landing on the ground with hardly any noise. Then he ran, not looking back. ~*~ owari ~*~ Notes: 1) Before anyone starts screaming, remember it's a *timeline*. Resolution I follows immediately after this, so it all links up and makes sense, trust me. ^^ If you were looking for more, uh, physical intimacy *coughs* do watch for Resolution because that's Where It's At. XD O-tanoshimi ni~! 2) C&C, as always, is bewy bewy much appreciated. "How the _hell_ do you bang a brownie?!" *wheeze* "He is NOT a brownie and his maker did NOT bang him..well..some fangirls might beg to differ...0.o;;" --Rou An and yours truly on Yue and Clow Reed via phone cerulean: ccs fics, kurosaki hisoka, untimely updates. 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