http://clampfix.fanworks.net/guests/lyturnab.txt </head><body><pre>note: with profoundest admiration for Togashi Yoshihiro, Mercedes Lackey, Kakinouchi Narumi, and the CLAMP ladies. The five of them were sitting in a circle in one of the many living rooms of Ruath House. Hiei and Kurama were sitting on the rather worn and battered couch. Van was slumped in an overstuffed easy chair, and Miyu perched on the back of a prim drawing-room chair. Elaine was sitting on a (sheathed) sword floating about five feet off the ground, scribbling something on a notepad. "... and so," Miyu was finishing, "one of the qualifications for belonging to that country is the ability to get lost in a wet paper bag." Everyone laughed. "I don't know anyone who's actually done *that*," Kurama said, "but one of my friends when I was about four got lost in Kaasan's walk-in closet." Everyone but Hiei laughed. "*I*," Hiei growled, "got lost in that closet off the kitchen here once." Miyu giggled. "That doesn't count. That closet's the size of the Dallas Airport." "That closet *was* the Dallas Airport," Elaine put in. "My great-great-grandmother leased it out to the airport people to earn some extra cash." Everyone laughed even harder. "How could it be?" Kurama asked Hiei quietly. Hiei shrugged. "The house is built in its own pocket dimension, and is connected to a few more. The closet must be in one of them." "Where do you meet these weird friends of yours?" "Well, I thought you were this youkai I'd been fighting --" "What I find astonishing," Van said, talking to his oath-sister and *her* oath-sister, "is the amount of people in these otherworlds who write stories about *me*." "You're famous," Miyu pointed out. "Yes, but even the Bards don't make up stories *that* weird..." "I'll say," Kurama said. "I've read a couple by accident, and while I don't mind most of them too much, some of them are decidedly weird and twisted." "'Twisted' is too mild," Hiei snorted. "Somebody wrote one where I was in a triad with That-idiot-Kuwabara and Koenma." Everyone howled with laughter. Just when it was dying down, somebody would think of something related and go off again. "Oh, no, it's fair," Elaine said, looking up from her scribbling. "They get to write weird and twisted stories about US, and we get to write weird and twisted stories about THEM. I am presently collaborating with a friend of mine," she waved her notepad, "on a doujinshi about Suzaku, Luriko-Ysabeth, three other writers of YYH fractured fairy tales, and the Encino High School cheerleading team." Everyone else burst out laughing again. "I had to go into the other world and take secret photographs of the four writers for my artist to use as models," Elaine continued perfectly seriously. "I wonder how he's getting along?" She produced a portable telephone out of nowhere and dialed a number. "Hello? How's the art coming along? WHAT? No, I do *not* have any nude pictures of the ladies. Use your imagination. Your imagination! *Imagine* how they'd look unclad." She blinked. "You have trouble visualizing naked ladies. Of all the teenage male humans in the universe... Look, just stick their faces onto the bodies of Julie Newmar, Cindy Crawford, Twiggy, and Marilyn Monroe. Think you can manage that? Goooood. See you later! Bye!" She hung up. At this point Miyu had fallen off her chair and Kurama had collapsed onto Hiei, as they were laughing so hard. Van was laughing just as hard, unable to rise from his chair. Even Hiei was cracking up. Elaine smiled at her friends and family. "I think it'll be one of Aotsuki Press's bestsellers." "Does Aotsuki Press do anything else?" Van asked politely. "I can get you a very good price on a CLAMP doujinshi..." "A doujinshi by CLAMP? Of what?" Kurama asked. "No, no," Miyu said. "A doujinshi *about* CLAMP. Story by Hououji Fuu and Imonoyama Tsuzuku, art by Imonoyama Nokoru and Sumeragi Hokuto." "I'll take three copies. I know someone who'd really like them." </pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>