http://clampfix.fanworks.net/kenichi/magi4-13.txt </head><body><pre> "Suffering is permanent, obscure and dark, And shares the nature of infinity." WILLIAM WORDSWORTH, The Borderers Chapter Thirteen It's been three days. The drab whites of the coveralls the Palace sent me to wear once again felt at home as it rode my skin. I was amazed that in the few days I had been gone, the Palace had filled with people. The end is drawing near. The darkly-tinted mists that heralded the territories of Dis increased to the very edges of the palace. Pretty soon, in two days more, perhaps, it would be suffocate even those within. The guards outside my door were perfectly willing to slaughter me for what I had done to the Guru. I only remember the rage with which I struck the Guru's face... thirty times, they told me. There was no way Clef would come out of that looking the same way again. Fine by me. He had it coming all the way. The people I did worry about were Mira and Rafaga. Pharle Presea told me that Rafaga would do fine, as the arrows didn't penetrate deeply enough to be lethal. Mira, however, was another matter. She hadn't left her room since she arrived. Worry, anger, pain were swallowed up in the chasm of emotions I held within myself. I couldn't tell whether Presea was angry because of what happened to Nar Mira, or for what I besieged onto the Guru... Her eyes were flaring with accusation, though her voice betrayed none of the rage. The Pharle wasn't at all happy about the condition in which I left the Guru. After all, not only did I maul someone who was quite possibly the most powerful and respected wizard in Cephiro... ...he was also someone very close to Presea's heart. Her voice had a distant tone as its melody reached my ears. "...And Clef will be fine, although it will take more than healing spells to cure him of what you wrought." What I wrought...? "Clef brought it upon himself." The cold iciness of my tone was frightening. Have I changed that much? Presea did not falter a bit at my brush. "How can you say that?" I turned to face the Pharle. "...All he could have done was to ask for the three guardians to give back the orbs...that wouldn't have been much trouble..." Presea's keen eyes narrowed as she cut me off in mid-sentence. "But then you would not have learned anything at all, now would you?" "Damnit, Presea! I KILLED PEOPLE!!! Can't you or Clef put that through your thick skulls?!?!?" The Pharle reddened at my accusations. "...You weren't supposed to kill any of them..." Of course I wasn't, was I? That wasn't what I wanted. That wasn't what Clef wanted. "Clef miscalculated on the force of my powers..." A nod. A guilty nod. "...So that's why he never taught me how to use them in the first place...He was afraid I'd abuse them..." Presea's eyes locked onto mine in an interplay of anger and guilt. "Guru Clef knows much about the magic of Cephiro, not the magic you and you alone on this planet have..." "I alone...?" Her reddish-brown eyes closed shut. "The magical spells you have were always yours to begin with. It is a system of magic that we in Cephiro are not familiar with. Clef knew this on the day he first saw you...." The melodic voice trailed away. Rayearth's voice echoed again in my mind. <The magic is not ours to teach, to begin with. They are yours. The magic has always been yours, and always will be. The earth in the end is eternal, and you hold the keys.> The magic has always been yours... Mine...did I take something with me? Presea... "Pharle. I have to see the Guru." Fright flew upon her features like a startled bird. I allowed my face to smile, attempting to soften the impact of my words. "Don't worry. He won't be seeing my fists up close ever again..." If I had known I could do that to a person, I would never have worried about bullies in my high school gym classes. The Guru sported a huge black right eye as well as a myriad of little bruises and injuries to his face. Not surprisingly, he wasn't the least bit pleased to see me. "I assume your'e pleased, now that youv'e 'let me have it', so to speak? Or because you want to further adjust my facial features...?" I neglected the sarcasm and went down to business. "Why didn't you tell me about the magic you knew I posessed? That's why you shut me up in the palace, wasn't it? Rafaga was right, all along, wasn't he? Admit it Clef..." I let the words flow slow but painful out of my mouth. "...Your'e afraid I was Zagato." The Guru coughed. "Nothing of the sort." "Don't deny it. I can read it in your eyes. You were afraid I was the reincarnation of Zagato, or something like that. Tell me. Do you think that's who I am, really...?!?" The Guru bowed low. "......No. You are not Zagato." "Damn straight, I'm not. But Zagato's presence is around me. As is the spirit of the Mashin Kore. That's why. TELL ME THE TRUTH, CLEF!!!" Clef huddled his staff close to himself. As if he were the frightened little child I thought him to be. "...You win..." The Guru's admissions were the truth, indeed. All that I wanted to hear, and some I wished not to. "I was not afraid of the people injuring you; rather, the opposite. With your power and ability, you could easily destroy them all." My powers. Fantastic but true. Two honest people and twelve of Dis' henchmen died to prove it. Clef went on in his confession. "When Dis appeared, and much later when you arrived, we felt a strong stirring in the magic of Cephiro, almost as if it was being disrupted. I can not tell what Dis has, but you..." "I what...?" "...You had potential. There was magic locked up within you that I was, admittedly, reluctant to allow you use of. Even more when I realized that you were the one depicted in the ancient cave drawings. That you might destroy Cephiro after your battle with Dis. I must think of Cephiro first." Cephiro first. <As if that helps...> Kore's thoughts touched me a reminder. "Who was it that Kore loved and lost, Clef?" The Guru pulled his head up. "The very reason why she is not aligned with the other three knights. Kore the Unicorn was the Mashin who slew the pillar before Emeraude." The pillar before... "It's happened before?" The Guru nodded. The bruises on his face made him a pitiful sight. "The pillar then was male. He went mad with the responsibility of praying for Cephiro for eternity. However, he was also one of the Magic Knights before you..." I held my breath as Clef ended. "Kore awoke herself to destroy the knight. This is a cycle; If and when a Magic Knight, from another land, decides to turn against Cephiro in any way, it is up to that Knight's Mashin to kill him or her. I am glad Hikaru did not have to go through that when she became pillar." Kill their own Knight...? <It is better to die at the hands of friend...> "She wanted to stop him, is that it? Because she cared?" "Ken, all the Mashin care for their Magic Knight. That is why Kore, the Knight of the earth, did not join the last battles...." Truth. Pain left unhealed. "She had spite towards me for ordering her to do so. For a Mashin to destroy it's own Magic Knight, it is akin to killing a very important part of its own soul..." We all had reason to hate Clef. Kore was angry that she had to kill her own Knight. Zagato? Emeraude was trapped in the Pillar and he could do nothing to stop her from dying. I...? That's right. What reason did I have? After all, It was my fists that rearranged his nose. I wonder, why didn't he get a Nar to... For the first time, terror screamed into my soul. Mira. Without awaiting the Guru's permission, I bolted out, looking for her chamber... The guards were unwilling to let me in. Fortunately, Clef trailed behind me and called the guards off. I did not thank the Guru; as far as I was concerned, he owed me. The doors of the chapel-like alcove slid open. Presea huddled by her bedside. The little Nar was conscious, but the reddish stain along the mattress cover told me the truth. The Pharle stood to meet me. "She is the only Nar in Cephiro. No one else can help her now." I felt the room go cold. Presea walked past me. Her words seemed laden with regret. "...You've already lost, you know that...?" The tears in her eyes shattered along the floor as she left. We were alone in the room. Mira's breaths were short and pained. I sat next to her bed, gently brushing an arm over her forehead. Her eyes fluttered open to see me. "...Ken...?..." My heart broke shattered endlessly as I saw the effort she made to even look at me. Presea tld me not to lose, and that now I had lost... What did I lose? It was plain as the look in Mira's eyes. Innocence. It was that which I lost. "Mira..." I wanted to say I'm sorry. I wanted to say get better. Damn my soul to hell, words are so cheap. Even if I pleaded or cursed to the heavens, it would change nothing. The only Nar in Cephiro. She couldn't even heal herself now. A smile, childish and beguiling, fought its way out of her pained face. Mira reached out for me, but the pain she experienced seemed reluctant to relinquish its grip. I held her hand close to my face. She was turning cold... ...Like the way father's were cold when I held them for the last time in my life... "...I...believe in...the Magic Knights..." She uttered the words as if she had said them many times before. The pained hands reached for the pendant around her neck. Clasping the jewel tight, she offered it to me. "...I believe...in hope..." The hand took all of Mira's strength as it yanked the chain away. I could not speak. Could not move. I wanted to cry out and make her rest, as if that would aid her plight, To hold her like the way I held her before, comforting and kind... Instead, I had no motion except to accept the pendant from her own failing hands. "...I..believe..in all of you...." The smile shone hope in the jaws of death. "...But...most especially...in You....Ken..." Her head tipped silently into my chest. "...don't cry..." I hadn't noticed my own tears as they streamed down my face. I put a hand to her face and felt it go completely cold. She had stopped breathing. Darkness shadowed in my soul. Somewhere in the wilderness of my mind, A unicorn fell to it's knees. Somwhere, a tall, dark spirit weeps as it remembers his failure to protect the one he loved. Of them, I alone remained silent. My had tightened around the pendant as if it was the only object in my world. And that indeed was what it had become. I opened the doors to see all heads bowed low. Clef most of all. The Guru glided over to my side. "...Kenichi. I'm..." "I don't want to hear it, Clef." My feet carried me away from the silent crowd. The better for it. No matter how many people surronded me, I was always, and ever be. Alone. I gazed out the window of my cell. The mists were ever roiling around the landscape. Like a wolf at the door. Mocking. Dis had not cared for Mira's sacrifice any more than he would have noticed an insect. It seems that he found himself above and beyond all life. I had so much hate for him. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here in the first place. I wouldn't have killed Chi or Gara. He killed Mira. He damn well nearly killed Rafaga. "But he is still my Father, Ken..." I turned to the silhouette in my room. "Why do you still haunt me, Zagato? I have enough ghosts in my life to take care of." "When next you join with Kore, then I will answer you." The regal head darkened even further. "...I'm sorry for all that's happened." Zagato faded politely out of the ether. Now, more than ever, I felt myself akin to him. The segments of my armor were laid out on the table. I clutched my hand involuntarily as I saw them. In my palm still rested Mira's pendant, her parting gift to me. Didn't you realize that she loved you, you fool...? Now she's dead because of you. My fault. All of it. In the end, no matter who I blame, Clef, Zagato, or Dis... In the end, I am the source and blame. I tucked my legs into a fetal postiion and began to rock myself back and forth. No comfort. Never has, never will. The words I promised myself at the very beginning returned... I'm going to see this storm through to the end. I started this. I have to end it. Even if it kills me. </pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>