http://clampfix.fanworks.net/others/kibou03.txt </head><body><pre>Disclaimer: Clover is by Clamp. Kibou. (Wish.) by Miyamoto Yui Chapter 3 - When you're far away from me. ~Kimi wa Ningen da yo~ (~You are human!~) "I'm sorry," he immediately apologized as he picked up the pieces of a dish that he had accidentally dropped in the kitchen. "It's nothing." I walked over bent down to inspect his hands as he pulled them away from me. I looked at him through my glasses. "Show me." He looked to the side as he brought his hands out for evaluation. Red blooddrop drip. Drip, drip. "Do you plan to keep this a secret from me?" He shook his head. I sighed as I got his wrists and brought him to the bathroom. I washed his hands as he watched me do so in silence. He always watched me quietly. But I understood. What could he say to me? What did we want to say to one another? Most of it was useless. We didn't need words. Not anymore. Our feelings were enough now. I sat him upon the stool as I got the alcohol from the closet. "This will sting like the last time." "I know," he quietly replied. I looked at him for a moment. Are you really fifteen-years-old Lan? It has only been two years. God, I don't even remember any more. Days go by for you when one passes for me. But no matter. You are still a child inside, aren't you? I don't know really. You had been in the lab for so long. I don't know how old you really are. Maybe your real years are catching up with you? I shook the thought away. Could they have been that cruel? Yes, I answer myself. Yes, they can. Yes, they are. His hands tightened as I wrapped them in gauze and I looked at him again. "Sorry." He shook his head. "You should tell me if there's anything wrong, Lan." Yes, I gave you that name. I wanted you to have an identity. You're not just a letter or a Clover. We are a people though they say we aren't! You are human, Lan! He looked at me with a wistfully smiling face and nodded silently. I hate it when you do that. Why do you have to smile when you know it absolutely hurts? Behind my glasses, I was wincing from frustration, but I kept my calm. It was nothing to me. I had been so used to being numb that it came so naturally to me now. "Thank you." He got up and left. ~Shiranai.~ (~Don't know.~) But, you didn't know... I grabbed on his shirt. ...that it drove me crazy... I pull him to my chest. ...every time you give me that look... I embrace his shoulders. ...I feel like I'm dying inside... I wrap my arms even tighter over him. ...just like you first came here? No, you possibly can't. He closed his eyes as he reached up to touch my glasses. "Gingetsu...do your eyes hurt?" This conversation will never make any sense to anyone. No one but Kazuhiko, Lan, and myself. And that is just fine as far as I'm concerned. Is this the only way we can communicate? Because A put this clear barrier between us? Must we lie to find the truth? How can that possibly be? "Yes." I close my eyes. ~Remaining.~ I can't stand it anymore. You understand, don't you? Every time I look at you, I wonder how long do we have left? I bet you are thinking the same thing. You begin to frown slightly at me. Why...why do we hold back? Because we don't know how to express emotions. "I will go clean up the mess," he says as he puts his hand on over my own and presses his lips softly on my arm. But I am unable to understand why I can't let go. Or rather, I'm denying it. And he can't say, "Please let me go." Everything has a double meaning... It was then that the rain that had been falling softly became more violent. And the thunder roared in the sky. I don't know what this boy did... but he had killed me completely. With This innocence that was killed by humanity is in my arms. Like a fallen angel. At that moment, Kazuhiko's question repeated in my mind, "What do you want most in the world?" "Now." He nodded not really knowing what I meant, but had no time to as he left me at the rain that was beginning. I don't know what you have done, but I can't stand being away from you for too long... As the rain fell outside and we stood there in a moment of time, I thought, "They'll call you back someday. And I will never find you again." At that moment, the fast-beat song played on the radio to torture me even more, "Angels are crying when you are far away from me..." I couldn't let him go and I felt the pressure and sadness of the moment. I don't know what will happen and when it will happen, but I am certain of one thing: When you leave, I will be left barren inside. I will be broken by your hands someday, Lan. But you won't be able to do anything about it then. I'll let myself slip. I then looked at the dishes that remained on the ground. I feel like I'm looking at myself. -- Author's note: Yes, I know Gingetsu is very ooc, but I love this pairing. It was so hard to depict his cold exterior to that of his special relationship with Ran. And so, I had a hard time making him convincing. I hope I did an okay job. ^^;; *takes a deep breath* Isn't it worse when you can't say what you want to? ===== ~list owner of IroIrona_fanfiction@yahoogroups.com~["Even before that..." I heard him whisper to himself. These words worried me and made me feel happy at the same time. He caught my shoulders and embraced me from behind in the darkness of the night as he buried his face into my hair. "Even before that...you were already mine."]-seishirou^_____________^V Final Fantasy gamer since number 1!!!</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>