http://clampfix.fanworks.net/others/kibou05.txt </head><body><pre>Disclaimer: Clover is Clamp’s. Kibou. (Wish.) By Miyamoto Yui Epilogue – Until Wish is made. ~Ichi.~ I hear her again. She is singing out the window. A broken window where Kazuhiko tried to picture and project his dreams. Do dreams really come to nothing? Is that why you can’t say anything, Oruha? Is that why? If a dream means that it will hurt, why is it called a dream at all? I thought they were things that made you happy? This makes no sense to me. Not at all. I can’t even ask you for an explanation. It is something a Clover must find out themselves, right? And yet, you are still singing. You are resigned to singing out this broken window. You want your voice to fly high. I want to fly with you. Wherever you may go. Please take me with you. We made a song together with this purpose, didn’t we? We wanted to fly and reach what we couldn’t. Is that was a dream really is? You try to reach, but you’ll only injure yourself on the way? Kazuhiko does not seem to worry about these things as we do. You always say that he says, “Keep on going. No matter what. Even if you go blind.” Would it have been better to not have lived if you cannot achieve your dream? Oh, Oruha, you can’t imagine being a four-leaf clover. It is too hard. Kazuhiko might have cried for an invisible you. In this sense, I’m years beyond you. You should be glad to be a one-leaf, At least he knew you were alive. At least people know you are alive out there. Especially when you sing. Songs last forever. In this silence. I took all this silence into my heart until I sang. Until I just sing and swing in my cage. I am bird. The caged white bird. I sing with you, Oruha, But you don’t know why I sing. If you ever go, You may be the only one… …who ever knew that I did. ~Ni.~ You can’t hold onto him forever, Two. He will have to fly. Like all Clovers we fade. One by one. He is not accustomed to living in the world. As am I. Yet, you do. You might be able to live. Maybe not for too long after, but just enough. Just enough not to be alone. You must let him go. Or else they will catch you. I don’t want that to happen. I will become more sad. Tearing away is better by choice than by force. But who am I to say that? My mother gave me away without thinking twice. But I didn’t want to go. I only went because they seemed to care more about my well-being. Even if it is fake. Isn’t it the same? If they act like it? To at least give a projection of fawning over my needs? But deep inside, I know it is not. And you, you can keep him. Silently to yourself. You can keep him close to you. You will give this care unconditionally… Wholeheartedly… Purely… It is real. So, does that make us human and not Clovers anymore? If we learn to love? I don’t understand this at all. I had seen that dreams are always towards the future. But I’m confused. You say that what your wish is now. Your dream is now. It is because we Clovers have no past and no future? Is it because of that that we must adjust the meaning and lifespan of a single wish? Tell me. I don’t understand… I would love to ask, But you don’t know I even exist. ~San.~ You left the nest and found another one. One where it is smaller, more compact. And you cry the tears you couldn’t before. You don’t understand why you are crying, but you are. Is it because you can actually dream? Is it because you have actually dreamt? So, how does it feel to be gone from your cage? Though you are confined, aren’t you more free? You can breathe now? Your brother knows. He senses it. He gets jealous constantly. And then you comfort him inside of your mind by saying, “I love you the best.” Over and over you have this chant. It is a mindless mantra. But we know, You always lie to him. You love Two the best. You have a strong connection to him. Silent, but resilent. Steadfast and forever. You don’t know, but he promised it would be forever. You didn’t know that when you came, he became more and more gentle. Even more gentle than when he had become friends with Kazuhiko. You brought out something he had never seen inside of himself. And also inside of you too. Your wish was not impossible, Three. It just had yet to be realized. ~Shi.~ I will leave someday. I will sing someday and someone else will know. Take me to Fairy Park. He’ll not know why. I will not tell him. My wish… It is not so big. I want to touch someone out of this cage. That’s all. I just want someone to see me. To really see me with the purity of liking me for me. Not because I’m a Clover. To know that I had lived… As a person… That’s all I want. But even that, It seems impossible, doesn’t it? I want to live. In that one moment. Even if all these years were wasted… …or that I was suspended in time waiting… Waiting to truly smile. Waiting to really cry. Waiting to passionately sing with all my heart. Waiting to sincerely love. Waiting for you. They will cry and keep me close to their heart. They’ll not tell me, but show me that somehow, outside of this cage, “I was waiting for you to come out.” And I will not be alone. Not anymore. With that thought alone, I can smile to myself. I will continue to survive until then… …for that single moment in time. End. -- Author’s note: Well, this is the last chapter. I really did enjoy doing this. For me, this was one of the most emotional pieces I’ve ever done and I hope you felt it too. After all the tears that I had kept when making this, I finally cried a single tear for Suu. Maybe it’s something that all humans feel. I had wished to make the last chapter with Lan. But when I really thought about it, I said, “No, this is Suu’s story. She should be the last to talk.” It’s so strange, though. When I made the chapter for Kazuhiko, I totally forgot that I didn’t put ‘mini-chapters’. But I remembered for everyone else. And when I really really thought about it, I saw that it did make sense. He isn’t a Clover. The others are. Another thing was that it this had ‘four’ chapters. Suu-death-four-shi: All mean the same thing. So, it truly was Suu’s fic. I thank you whole heartedly for reading. It truly means a lot to me. As I said in one of my disclaimers: Clover is one masterpiece of Clamp's that should be experienced at least once. I want to share this experience with my mediocre hands, but with all of my pure heart. Love always, Yui Miyamoto 6/22/2000 ===== ~list owner of IroIrona_fanfiction@yahoogroups.com~["Even before that..." I heard him whisper to himself. These words worried me and made me feel happy at the same time. He caught my shoulders and embraced me from behind in the darkness of the night as he buried his face into my hair. "Even before that...you were already mine."]-seishirou^_____________^V Final Fantasy gamer since number 1!!!</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>