http://clampfix.fanworks.net/others/midnight.txt </head><body><pre>This fic serves as my intro, of sorts. Certain parties indicated it should be posted. This lurker is dubious ^_^; Title: Midnight Choir Summary: Kazuhiko and Oruha share a private moment in his memory Feedback to: Mei-chan (meikundayo@yahoo.com) Rating: PG13 (for suggestive situations) Spoilers: volumes 1 & 3 Archive: ML archives ok. Anyone else, just tell me where. Disclaimer: Just a little friendly homage, not ownage. Notes: Lyrics inside quotes are from "Bird on the Wire" by Leonard Cohen. Lyrics without quotes are from Clover. The dialog in scene 4 is directly from Clover, somewhat via Fuu's translations. Acknowledgements: That most excellent beta-reader, Kristin, who instilled the need to write Clover fic, and my proofreader Bina-sempai, who got this song stuck in my head. Any remaining goofs are my own. ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~~ Midnight Choir "Like a bird on the wire Like a drunk in a midnight choir I have tried in my way to be free" Court-martials weren't so bad, Kazuhiko thought, laying his head back on his folded hands. Losing a girlfriend was worse. And beyond that, there was forgetting the words to songs as he lay awake at night. If he could only concentrate a little harder, maybe his sleeping mind would find them again. Sometimes in the early morning, just as he woke up, it almost sounded like someone was singing to him. But by the time he opened his eyes, the only voices were the birds outside his cell window. Did he believe in ghosts? Maybe for her. ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~~ "You were perfect," he told her, barging into her dressing room with flowers held out at arm's length. She looked up and laughed, her hands tangled in her hair. "Never mind, just help me get these pearls out," she teased, showing a little more leg under her skirt. "What, I don't even get a kiss for the flowers?" "Then come here...." He leaned over and, eyes sparkling, she kissed him right on the tip of the nose. He sputtered at her half-closed eyes and impish grin, but couldn't think of an appropriate response that wouldn't crush the flowers. "Vase," she gestured to the makeup counter with her chin, "then hair?" "I suppose, though if the only reward I'm going to get's an Eskimo kiss-" "You won't get anything at all if I can't get my hair down." "Ah, but I have you helpless." He loomed mockingly, then broke the mood by jamming the flowers halfway into the glass jar by her mirror. "Remind me to get you a bigger vase," he muttered, settling down to trimming leaves as Oruha went back to untangling strands of pearls from her hair. After a few minutes of working quietly, she looked up. "Kazuhiko?" Hearing something in her voice, he turned to look at her. "Yes?" "Let's clean up later." He smiled. "Right." ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~~ By the silence of the building, he thought it must be after midnight. Oruha lay snuggled up to him on the couch - there was really no other way to fit them both on the narrow thing - and he could feel her fingers tap a light rhythm on the back of his left hand. He wondered what song she was thinking of. It didn't feel familiar. "Shall I help you get those pearls out now?" he asked softly when the tapping ceased. "It's probably hopeless," she said into his chest. "Once you leave them in too long...." "Nonsense. We just have to be careful, since I refuse to have my pretty girl hurt in any way." He sat up slowly, still holding her. "And you can sing that song you were thinking of while we work." "I can't," she said, as he set her beside him and tapped on the lights. "Why not?" She moved to let him slide his fingers into her hair. "Because it's a duet." "Oh." They sat in silence while he wound the strands of string and pearl around each curl. He was surprised to find it quite easy, once he stopped worrying about time. It was simply a matter of tracing the paths of white on black, the slip of recently washed hair around cool beads, and then gently untwisting the caught hairs along the way. He fell into the task, absorbing it with his eyes and hands until he almost missed the first whispered notes. I want happiness I seek happiness to cause your happiness to be your happiness.... She stopped abruptly and went still beneath his hands. "Hey, you okay?" "Yes," she whispered. "That's it." "That's it? Rather short, isn't it?" "I can't sing both parts." She leaned away, dropping her eyes. His face clouded as he looked down at her, strands of pearls hanging forgotten in his hands. "Teach me." He spoke firmly, daring the shadows to move any closer. Her head flew up. "Hey, be careful, you're going to knock me out with these things." He tugged gently on the beads still wrapped around his fingers. A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips. "Very well. We'll start you out two octaves lower." ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~~ He rose from the couch the next morning and headed for the livehouse shower, still humming the tune under his breath. How such a melancholy song could be so catchy - he wondered who the other singer was, the one who sang two octaves higher than he did. At least it was obviously a woman. He didn't want to share his Oruha with any man, even a fellow performer. Not that he could play the part. It amazed him, as he turned on the hot water and let it run over his body, that he had actually sung with her last night. They had never done that before. Searching himself for why, he wondered if it was simply that music was, just as Oruha was, and the two were so much a part of each other that it never occurred to him to participate. That would be like separating her into pieces. And yet she hadn't objected. In fact, she'd gone slowly, laughed kindly, helped him work out his shyness, and once the pearls were gone, worn him out. She was as open about her music as her body and heart. Innocent despite her lack of shame, or because of it. Honest despite the past she didn't talk about, which he not only let her dismiss, but began to think she was right to do so. They were together and in love. There was no need for things from the past. But the song was so sad. Why did she write such a sad song after all this time? Unconsciously, he began to mutter the words, then opened his mouth to let them out, since they wanted it so much. Not your past but your present is what I seek, carefully winding back its fragile thread please take me there I want happiness Deciding he wanted to ask her why, he left the shower and pulled on his pants, drying his hair with the towel as he walked back into the main room. "You like it?" she asked, still lying on the couch. "It's a little different from your songs up to now." "It's not a song I wrote." She turned to watch him watching her, then asked again. "Do you like it? The song, I mean." "Yeah," Kazuhiko desperately wanted to ask but didn't know if he should. "Whose is it? I never heard it before." "That's a secret." she fluttered her eyelashes, and in frustration, he leaned down to kiss her. I don't care about her past, he reminded himself as she pulled him back down on the couch. I just want her to be happy. ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~~ Kazuhiko woke up in a different narrow bed, which by the cold he slowly recognized as the cot in his private cell. The notes in his head were fading into birdsong, and though the light was always dim, he knew it must be morning. Morning, he thought. Birds. It was something like that, but not quite. "A bird in a gilded cage," he said aloud, then looked around and laughed. It still looked like a dusty jail cell to him. He froze mid-laugh. That was - a line? "Bird in a gilded cage. Cage. Bird bereft of flight, bird all by itself - no, wait, bird that cannot cry," he muttered to himself frantically. He was getting it, here it came. Like his right hand transforming in the moment before battle, it felt inevitable and impossible all at once. Then the melody crashed through him. so take me I want happiness. happy just to be with you happy just to see you smile His heart broke open and he couldn't stop grinning for some reason, pouring out the words at top volume, unable and unwilling to stop. The song had always been there in his mind, he now realized, he just hadn't known what thought to follow to it. Now the music was in the world again, echoing off the walls and setting the electrified bars to humming; he imagined the whole compound could hear it. When a pair of guards came to get him, he was still singing. He caught one of them humming along by the time they reached the Generals' headquarters. They let him go at the entrance to the building: one giving him the stare of someone facing his first madman, the other still humming under his breath as he saluted and turned away. Kazuhiko strolled casually through the maze of the building, unashamed of his average voice and the need to switch octaves twice. Though the duet was meant for two people, he was willing to let his memory fill in her part. As the last note faded away, he imagined her voice soaring above his. She was always great at endings. so deliver me, help me to forget the tribulations of day and to stay in this dream of night, where I can be thinking of you forever take me to my bliss. At the end of the last hall, the great doors opened, and he walked in without fear or respect. Nor did he bow. He supposed the long silence was to make him shuffle his feet like the boy he once was, but he just took out a pack of cigarettes and tapped one into his palm before putting the rest back in his pocket. The other broke before he did. "You can be very difficult, Kazuhiko. I told you to plead guilty." "You also told me to lie," the young man said, lighting the cigarette and taking a deep drag. "But I didn't feel like it." "This will ruin your career," Kou let a little exasperation color her voice. "Perfect," Kazuhiko blew a puff of smoke her way. "I already told Gingetsu I quit." "This is the world you live in; like it or not, you're stuck here - Where are you going? Don't you walk away from me, boy!" "Later, Granny," Kazuhiko waved his mechanical hand casually as he disappeared through the door and headed for the outside world. Let her peddle her poison elsewhere for a change. Outside the last door, he paused to look up at the sky he had not seen in several weeks. It lay gray and threatening to rain, the clouds hanging heavy and low. /Beautiful/. "Can you hear me, Oruha?" he asked the faintly smoky air. "I can hear you." "Like a worm on a hook, Like a knight from some old fashioned book I have saved all my ribbons for thee. If I, if I have been unkind, I hope that you can just let it go by. If I, if I have been untrue I hope you know it was never to you." ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~~ Notes: Events in this story take place during volume three, with page 99 taken almost word-for-word. I used Fuu's translations as a base, but changed them at will. Don't blame her for any inaccuracies. The first and last scenes take place after volume 3 but before volume 1. As for Oruha's song itself, there is no indication that it is physically a duet in the manga, but the chapter title "duet only bird knows" and the fact that both clovers sing it tell me that it can act as one. Lyrics are taken from the translation provided by CLAMP on the back flaps of volumes 1 & 2. English version of Kazuhiko's obnoxious "Later, Granny" provided by Kristin. 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