http://clampfix.fanworks.net/rgv-fix/ttv1.txt </head><body><pre> Konnichiwa! Alright, Jo, you asked for it. -Mimi P.S. I wrote this late last night while working on a mp. So I am not responsible for this creation of my sleep deprived mind. --------------------------------------------------------------- (music) (aerial view of Zenmi-jin) (voice over) Welcome to another installement of The Lifestyle of the Rich and the famous. Today, we're going to visit the spectacular palatial residence of Taishaku-ten and Ashura-ou. Rising from water, the magneficent Zenmi-jin, and it apparent reflection, form one of the wonders of Tenkai. Join us as our gracious host, Ashura-ou, takes us on a tour of the newly renovated Zenmi-jin. Kujaku: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Kujaku here, with Ashura-ou at Zenmi-jin. Ashura-ou, please tell us a little about the renovation that took place. Ashura-ou: As you know, after the six stars arrived in Zenmi-jin, the whole palace was reduced to rabbles. Rebuilding the palace is a huge undertaking, and required a phenomonal amount of labor and material. However, with Taishaku-ten as the emperor, labor, at least, did not prove to be a problem.(laughs) Kujaku: I understand the palace was rebuilt in a matter of month. Ashura-ou: Well, there are still portions that are incomplete. But as I have said, Tai really had a way with the workers. This way, please. (enters the main audience hall) Ashura-ou: Here is the main audience hall, where most of the affairs of state takes place. This used to be in white marble. Although most of this part remained intact, it was rather difficult to remove all the stain, so I simply resurfaced it in red. It turned out rather well, don't you think? Kujaku: Very impressive. Next, Ashura-ou is going to take us where only the few priviledged had been permitted. Ashura-ou: Yes, the gateway to Ashura-jin is the only thing that survived completely intact. Please come around this way. (leads the way into the hall, with a flourish) Ashura-ou: And here we.... Ahhhh ! Kujaku: Cut! Cut! Cut! (cameramen stumbles over each other) (in the middle of the hall is a figure lying in a pool of blood, rather obviously died) Ashura-ou: I can't believe this. Why did he have to pick today, of all days... (enters Taishaku-ten) Tai: Hello, darling. (sees Kujaku, and the cameramen in a tangled heap) Uh, am I interrupting something? Ashura-ou: (sweetly) Not at all, you came just at the right time. Now, would you kindly tell me what that is suppose to be? Tai: (looks at what Ashura-ou is pointing at, looks at Ashura-ou, obviously not sure whether it's a trick question or not) Umm, it looks like a body to me. Ashura-ou: I KNOW it's a body. What is it doing there ? Tai: How am I suppose to know? You're the one with strange decorating ideas. Look, honey, I'm in a hurry. Can we discuss this another time? (Trys to make for the exit) Ashura-ou: Wait, aren't you going to do anything about it? Tai: (now really looks confused) What, oh, that? What would I want to do with a dead body? Ashura-ou: You can't just leave it there. Tai: (very reasonably) Well, I can't take it to the meeting with me either. And I just fed my pets, and I don't want to overfeed them. Ashura-ou: (takes a deep breath) Tai, do you know how hard I've worked to rebuild your reputation? Do you have any idea how low your approval ratings are? Last time you only had two votes, and that was from the family. And the first time I finally get Kujaku here, to get you some positive coverage on TV, you have to ruin it. (Begins to cry softly) Tai: I'm so sorry, darling, I'm so sorry. (Takes Ashura-ou in his arms) Tell you what, I'll make it up to you. Didn't you like the golden gargoyles on the palace of Kendappa-jin? I'll go and make them bring it here. (kisses Ashura-ou) There, better now? Look, I really have to go. (Taishaku-ten, in his hurry to escape, bumps into a figure rising out of the floor) Ashura: Why, Tai, what's the hurry? (peers at Ashura-ou's face, then at Tai again) Oh, papa has been nagging again? Poor thing. (Ashura proceeds to comfort Taishaku-ten by entwining himself around the emperor) You really should come and visit me sometimes. (a sidelong glance at Ashura-ou, who is turning dangerously red) Ashura: (smiles and whispered into Taishaku-ten' ear) You know, get away. (one hand stole up Tai's chest) We can have some... fun. (Taishaku-ten swallowed, and suddenly discovered that his arms were around Ashura, and Ashura-ou's face is beganning to match the new maroon granite facing. Tai jerked his arms back like they were burnt) Kujaku: (furtively to his camera men) Start the camera, now. (rubs his hands, and smirks) Oh this is going to be good. Ashura-ou: (Through his teeth) Take your hands off my lover. Ashura (laughs softly): Really papa, such jealousy. (caresses Taishaku-ten's face lingeringly) Ashura: ( Looks down, and just discovered the body on the floor) What is this? (bends down and dips an elegant forefinger in the blood, sniffs, and takes a taste) Ashura: Very nice. Fresh too. Ashura-ou (eyes narrowed) Ashura, did you do this? Ashura: (all wide eyed innocence) Me? Oh papa, your suspicion wounds me. Ashura-ou: (under his breath) Unfortunately it's not mortal. (aloud): What is Yasha going to think? Ashura: Don't worry, I can deal with Yasha. (Right on cue, Yasha appears, looking noble and clueless as usual) Yasha: Ashura, what's going on here? (Ashura immediately untangled himself from Taishaku-ten, who was getting rather breathless, and throws himself into Yasha's arms) Ashura: Yasha! No one loves me! Yasha: That's not true. Ashura: My mother wanted to kill me, and now, even my father doesn't love me. No one wants me. I don't want to live. Yasha: No, Ashura. It doesn't matter who loves you or wants you. I'll always love you, even if you look like a tree or a worm. (holds Ashura closer to him) (Ashura smirks and makes a face at Ashura-ou) Ashura-ou: (rolls his eyes) Don't they ever get tired of that routine. I never thought Yasha would have turned out to be such a sapskull when I picked him for Ashura. Well, I suppose at least you turned out better, Tai. Tai? (Ashura-ou turns, and discovers that Taishaku-ten's eyes where glued to the expanse of milky <censored> revealed by Ashura's short tunic) Tai: (suddenly feels a sharp pain in his arm) Ouch. Ashura-ou: Stop ogling my son! And get to work cleaning up that mass. So Kujaku can finish filming the show. Kujaku... Kujaku! (Suddenly discovered that the tape has been running all this time, and Kujaku is now encounced in a sofa, a box of popcorn in his hands, and enjoying the show prodigiously) (Ashura-ou leaps at Kujaku. Kujaku screams, and rushed to hid behind Yasha, who lost his balance, and dropped Ashura, whom he still held in his arms. Taishaku-ten rushes to catch Ashura. ) (enters Ten-ou into the mass ) Tenoh: Ashura-ou, do you know what happened to my... What is going on here? And what is that on the floor? Altogether: It's a dead body. Tenoh: .... Will Ashura seduce Taishaku-ten? Will Ashura-ou get the tape back from Kujaku? Will we discover who left the body there? And will Ashura-ou need to resurface the floor again? Stay tuned, for the next installment of the Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous </pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>