http://clampfix.fanworks.net/smut/direction.txt </head><body><pre>Hello! This is Hiki-chan posting a FIC! It's my first fic posting ever and it's a yaoi -_-0 Something is wrong over here *Hiki glances at her five X Fics that have been in work for a very long time and still are* v_v°°°° Well, it's for the "Seishirou as uke" challenge. Please don't sue me and don't forget that English is NOT my first language... Special ARIGATOU to Beth Winter and Cheshire ^_^ So, here we go, as for me: *Hiki-chan runs away and hides at some very far place* THE RIGHT DIRECTION Seishirou and Subaru stood in the kitchen, Subaru pushed against the kitchen desk, gripping at it and being fiercely kissed by Seishirou-san. He loved it. Things were as they should be. His face was cupped by the older man's strong hands and their tongues licked at each other, and swirled and .... "Nnghh..." Seishirou smiled against Subaru's hot mouth. That would be the first of Subaru's moans this evening. A soft one, to start with. He pushed his tongue even further down his younger lover's throat, already anticipating the next noise he would make and wondering what it would be like. Soft again? Or more like struggling for air? Maybe like 'Take me now' or 'Slow down'? Gods he loved this little game.... "Unnnghhh...!!!" It was a 'struggling for air' one. Seishirou smiled and let go a little for Subaru to recover from that invasion. But it didn't seem enough as Subaru pushed him away a little, taking a deep breath. "Seishirou-san ...." Subaru breathed in. The Sakurazukamori had taken control from the first kiss. Again. "Uhhh...." That had really been involuntary. He hadn't expected Seishirou to lick at his neck and descend to his collar bone. "Nnnn...." Was that 'Take me now'? Seishirou wondered. "...you ... like that ... Subaru-kun...?" Subaru started running his right hand through Seishirou's hair, the left one still clutching at the desk. That had been a rhetorical question. "Why ... do you even ask...? ... Nnnnnnnn... You know it ... already... mmmm...." The dark onmyouji chuckled softly. "Yeah, one can tell by the beautiful sounds you make." Subaru considered that for a moment. Then he whispered, holding back the excitement in his voice: "That's not fair." Seishirou stopped what he was doing. He looked at Subaru, smiling. "What do you mean?" Thus freed, Subaru was able to focus on the conversation again and he looked back at Seishirou, very sincerely. "Well, it's not like I ... like I..." He turned slightly red. "It's not like I do these sounds on purpose ... while you ... hold them back on purpose." "Eh?" Seishirou blinked. Subaru pushed him away a little more. "Well yeah. In a situation like this one for instance, I don't know if you're really ... uh... excited or just playing around." He had turned crimson by now. Seishirou just blinked at him. There had been something quite ... annoyed in the younger man's voice. But he hadn't got what he was saying. "What are you trying to tell me, Subaru-kun? Really, I don't get it. I mean, why would I stand here and kiss you if I weren't interested in ... doing even more so." He chuckled, regaining his composure. "And then again, how can you even believe for a second I am not constantly excited when I am around you?" The young man looked at him, crimson and flustered and made a loud and protesting sound as he was picked up from the kitchen floor and carried to their bedroom. "Mooouuuuu!!!! Seishirou-san! Let me down!" The older man laughed wholeheartedly. "You sound like your sister, Subaru-kun." Subaru punched him in the back for that. But he stopped struggling. There was no way, was there? And, in the end... their bedroom wasn't such a bad place to be. Subaru pondered about the fact that he had been sharing a bedroom with Seishirou-san since 1999, which was more than two years ago, something he had thought an impossibility having turned into reality. But then, he was torn from his musings by being carelessly thrown onto the bed and immediately pinned to it by the strong hands of the former Dragon of Earth. He didn't know why but suddenly a sort of anger filled Subaru. He turned away as Seishirou wanted to kiss him again and with an angry face, he firmly said: "No." Seishirou watched him for a second, then lay down next to him, supporting himself on one elbow so he could have a good look at his Subaru-kun and try to interpret his eyes correctly. They seemed angry. And as much as he liked ravishing his little prey, he knew by now that he loved him as well and he didn't want him angry. "Subaru-kun... what's wrong?" Subaru looked back at him and the other's somewhat concerned face – one that he was still not used to – confused him. "I don't know." Seishirou put a hand on Subaru's cheek. "But you looked so angry suddenly. Did I upset you? You must tell me, Subaru-kun." At the gesture, Subaru's eyes softened visibly, and he felt like melting under that warm and strong hand cupping his face. "I don't know, it's just so .... Whatever happens, I lose. That's a bit frustrating, I guess. I don't know. It's strange. I never minded and suddenly I do." Seishirou let go of Subaru's cheek and supported himself on both his elbows now. He had no clue. "What do you mean, you always lose?" Subaru looked at him for a couple of moments. The white onmyouji was truly beautiful. Something so perfect. No, Seishirou corrected himself, someone. Baka, he is a person and not a thing. He is so beautiful, and all yours – wouldn't you do anything to have him look at you like this forever? Yes, and you already have done so much for it, haven't you? Bad times it had been in 1999.... As he thought about all of this, Subaru suddenly started talking again, whispering. Probably because he was embarrassed. "You stare at me, I lose. You kiss me, I lose. You touch me, I lose. You pin me on the bed, I lose." Seishirou looked him in the eyes. "I thought you liked losing." Subaru stuttered. "I ... I – I do. I do, Seishirou-san." He unlocked himself from Seishirou's gaze. "I – I like it very much... But... it's *always* that way. Sometimes... I ---- I just don't feel like losing. Even if it's just once in a while." What the hell was he saying? What on earth was he doing? How could he, Sumeragi Subaru, tell him, Sakurazuka Seishirou, these words???? Subaru was embarrassed to death and felt his cheeks going crimson red. He suddenly felt the urge to get up and go sleep on the sofa. Yes, that's what he should do. But first, he wanted to add one thing. "D-don't misunderstand me, Seishirou-san! It's not like I'm not fond of what ---- we do... But...I love you so much I... give myself completely to you and you... you just kind of don't." His voice started shaking. Dammit. "That's really frustrating you know." He felt tears stinging at the corners of his eyes and he mentally kicked himself for the conversation. Getting up from the bed, he wanted to take a cold shower and a hot bath. In that order. But he never got a single foot on the floor. Seishirou had put an arm around his waist, pulled him a bit and placed him on top of him. "Ehhh... Seishirou-san! W-what...!" Subaru kept struggling for freedom as Seishirou, once again, cupped his face and kissed him. Very softly, this time. Subaru stopped moving around. "Subaru-kun...?" Seishirou broke the kiss and looked at Subaru. He had guessed right. Tears. He kissed them away. "S-sorry... Seishirou-san...." "What for?" "I – I feel so stupid." Seishirou looked at him, again, thinking. "Don't. *That* would be stupid, you know." Subaru still looked miserable though. "Come on, Subaru ... kiss me." Subaru smiled faintly. Seishirou always tried his best to make him stop crying and feel like everything was okay. He shifted on top of his lover to get a better position and leaned down to kiss him. First on the lips, then descending to his throat and finally moving up again to suck at his earlobe. Seishirou held his breath back at the sensation. Then, remembering what he intended, he let his breath out again and gasped audibly enough for the Sumeragi to hear. Subaru, still engaged in Seishirou's earlobe, immediately reacted by sucking a little harder until he decided upon nibbling a little with his teeth. Seishirou let out a low moan. Subaru blushed at the sound and stopped what he was doing. He didn't know himself why he was blushing. That low and deep moan had been quite ... encouraging, hadn't it? But Subaru began to suspect something and knew he was right as Seishirou whispered softly in his ear: "Don't stop, Subaru-kun... come on...." He wrapped his arms around Subaru and hold him firmly against his body, nuzzling his head slightly against Subaru's to make him go ahead. The former Dragon of Heaven watched him from the side. "Seishirou-san...." Seishirou turned a little around. There was a tiny smile on his lips, but his eyes were so warm, so warm.... "Subaru-kun... don't you want to kiss me?" "Y-yes I want to." Of course he wanted to. He had done that many times already. Seishirou closed his eyes and brought his lips very near Subaru's ear. "Come on then... let's switch roles." "Ehh...?" Subaru turned crimson. "I – I'm not sure if...." "Subaru-kun." "Y-yes?" "Give it a try. It's not like we *have* to, but let's see how far we can go in this." Subaru thought that over. "But – *you* don't have to do that just because of what I was saying, Seishirou-san..." "Ahh... I know...." The Sakurazukamori smiled and ran his hands up and down Subaru's back. "I know. But don't you ----" He grinned, trying to look Subaru in the eyes. "Don't you want to make me yours?" Subaru became nervous. He had never thought about it that way. He had never thought about it at all. And now, Seishirou was proposing it. Shouldn't he take his maybe only chance? "Y-yes, but... I don't know if I can. Wouldn't that be... eh... kind of... strange?" "Just because we never tried? No." "Hmm..." Subaru rested his head on Seishirou's shoulder. "Subaru." The older man lifted him a little up to see him better and as they moved against each other, Subaru suddenly knew he wanted to. He had always wanted to. He was just a little ... unsure on how to proceed. "Look, let's just continue and see how things develop, okay?" Seishirou wasn't sure at all if he could get Subaru to do this. He had already thought about it, but especially at the beginning, the young onmyouji had been so awkwardly shy and inexperienced that it had been out of the question. But now, maybe now ...? Subaru looked at him, then he whispered firmly, with no hint of shyness left: "Okay." Seishirou smiled and tilted his head back to give Subaru better access to the flesh at his throat. And as the Sumeragi explored his body, he never forgot to gasp and moan at every touch, becoming so completely caught up in his role that he would have to admit that the moans were no pretence. Subaru proceeded slowly and thoroughly. He kissed every inch of Seishirou's body, licked at the places that he knew would arouse him even more than others and sucked at them when the dark onmyouji moaned even louder. Though all of this wasn't new to Subaru, he was nervous, because it was supposed to end the other way around than usually. Which was why he took more time than ever before. But after an endless teasing, Seishirou didn't feel like waiting any longer. "Subaru...." He took Subaru's head in his hands, pushed him up to his face again and whispered in his ear. "I don't think I can wait any longer." Then he kissed him, first slowly, then more and more passionately until all Subaru could feel was how much he was excited. The younger man was the one to break the kiss though; he put his forehead on Seishirou's shoulder to take some deep breaths and found out his breathing won't come back to normal any more. Then he heard a noise and, lifting his head up, he could see that Seishirou had already put the tube in his hand, panting: "You know what to do with it." Subaru accepted it shyly, opened it and put some of the content in his hand and on his fingers. Putting the tube away for the moment, he looked at Seishirou. The tiny smile was still there. Subaru felt uncomfortable with the older and much more experienced man looking back at him and he leaned for another kiss, moving his hand slowly downwards. Before reaching down, he felt Seishirou's thighs come up and slide against his sides. That felt strange. As Subaru carefully pushed one finger inside his lover, Seishirou first gasped and then breathed out again, stuttering: "S-Su---ba---ru." Subaru tried to concentrate on what he was doing so he wouldn't hurt Seishirou more than necessary, but his own pants were clearly audible to him and Seishirou's gasps and moans and --- whimpers? --- yes, whimpers were piercing through his body, distracting him from his actions. Seishirou let out a moan again. Seishirou hoped badly Subaru wouldn't make him wait too long now. His Subaru-kun, on top of him, like this... oh he wanted him, he wanted him so badly. It kind of hurt but wouldn't that feel even more spectacular if his Subaru-kun would ...? Being carefully prepared by the heavenly panting Sumeragi, Seishirou quickly glanced over the bed and picked up the tube as he found it next to him. He lubricated his own fingers and reached down. That had been unexpected. Subaru let out a soft cry as Seishirou encircled him and rubbed him slowly. He pulled his fingers out of Seishirou, it was too much at the same time. Then he realised his lover was lubricating him. "Subaru... no longer... please...." "B-but are you... okay?" The Sakurazukamori's gaze fixed on Subaru's eyes, and he whispered, though it was more of a moan: "Subaru, now. I want you now! Please, Subaru, I want you inside me n-o-w!" "Seishirou-san...." Subaru wasn't sure of this, but he positioned himself and slowly, carefully, he started pushing himself in. Seishirou arched his back up and cried out. This was how it would feel like?! That was rather painful. He clenched his teeth. Subaru, on the contrary, knew all of a sudden that this *was* right and that there was no reason for being unsure. /Seishirou-san./ This was how it felt like?! So warm and so unbelievably tight?! He couldn't help it and thrusted the rest of him inside. "Seishirou-saaaan!!!" Seishirou moaned out and tightened his firm hold on the younger man's back. Only now Subaru had touched that point inside of him that made him feel so good, that made him forget the pain. For a couple of seconds, Subaru didn't move. He breathed against Seishirou's neck and tried not to explode from pure pleasure right on the spot. Seishirou was glad for the short moment of relief, storing at the back of his mind he should never forget to do that with Subaru. But their stillness began frustrating him and he tried to move against the white onmyouji. "Subaru...!" Subaru lifted his head and looked down, eyes half-lidded, face all flushed, he looked beautiful and his breath was hot against Seishirou's skin. Then, he began moving. Slowly, he pulled himself a little out and pushed in again just as carefully, making them have a slow but steady rhythm till Seishirou rocked his hips against him and made him increase the tempo. Subaru moaned with each thrust, anticipating each of Seishirou's soft cries and, suddenly remembering another part of the procedure, he reached one hand down. But before he could touch Seishirou's erection he was rubbing at with his stomach any way, the older man took his hand and put it back on his shoulder. Subaru was confused. "No. Not this time. Just – concentrate on what you're doing." "B-but – " Seishirou pulled Subaru down even more, gaining even more friction and whispered: "Like this. Please --- don't stop!" Subaru wasn't sure why Seishirou didn't want him to touch him, then again, he guessed it was because it was their first time like this and probably, Seishirou wanted them both to focus on that one act. He dug his fingers in his lover's shoulders and thrusted in again. And again. And again. /Seishirou-san. I'm inside Seishirou-san./ He would have lost himself in the thought if Seishirou hadn't moaned out: "Deeper! Deeper!" And as he did as he was told, Subaru knew he was very near his orgasm. /Gods./ Seishirou could hardly sort things out in his head as he desperately rubbed against Subaru's stomach, matching his thrusts. He felt the urge to tilt his head back and gave in. "Subaru...." The Sumeragi looked up as he heard his name in such a pleading voice and immediately lapped at the exposed throat. "Nnngghhh...." Subaru watched Seishirou, who couldn't see him as his eyes were either shut or focusing at the ceiling. Subaru watched him, watched him gasp and moan and move and being moved. As a wave of pure pleasure went through Subaru, he thrusted harder, once, twice, hearing Seishirou's cries getting louder.... "SUBARU!" The older onmyouji tightened and was shaken by the orgasm that took him somewhere very far away. As Seishirou tensed, Subaru gasped sharply at the sensation and only a second later he was spilling inside of his dark lover, unable to cry out or even to breath. Blurred minds. For an instant, time stood still. Then, their mutual struggle for air brought them back to where they were, their pants filling the room as Subaru collapsed on top of Seishirou. The older man loosened his death-grip on Subaru, putting a hand on his young love's head and pressing him against his chest. With all the energy he had left, Subaru lifted himself up a little and pulled himself carefully out, which made both of them groan. Then he let himself fall onto Seishirou again, who lowered his legs down, tangling them with the younger man's. They laid still for some moments, their breathing already indicating the first signs of slumber as the white onmyouji finally dared to speak up, whispering: "Seishirou-san?" "Ah...?" "You're not asleep?" "Not yet." There was another silence. Being tired and held so firmly and reassuringly against his lover made Subaru feel strange again. He felt so good. But did Seishirou-san? "Seishirou-san... are you alright?" The man smiled at Subaru's concern, but, of course, Subaru couldn't see the reaction and he looked up all worried. "Seishirou-san, did I, did I ---?!" Then he could see the smile and stopped his question, looking at Seishirou. The Sakurazukamori put a hand on the Sumeragi's cheek, rubbing his thumb against the soft flesh. "I'm ok. What about you?" Seishirou wondered if Subaru had been able to enjoy this. Subaru whispered. "I'm – fine." That wasn't very satisfying an answer. Seishirou's smile vanished, but he ran his hand through the young man's hair, readjusting his bangs, thinking about whether Subaru had been ready for this or not. A soft voice called him back from his thoughts. "Seishirou-san... that was ... that was ...." As Subaru felt Seishirou's eyes locked on him again, he blushed. What should he say?? "Um...." He lowered his gaze. "Thank you." Seishirou blinked. He had least of all expected to be thanked for that. Then he grinned. He put an arm around the Sumeragi's waist and turned him over again, pressing him slightly to the mattress. Subaru was startled. Seishirou laughed a little, though an unexpected stinging pain had pierced through his body. Well, he would get used to that. "You won't ever change, will you, Subaru-kun?" "Eh?" Seishirou kissed his cheek as response. Then he whispered in his ear: "I'm glad you won't stop blushing no matter what." Subaru didn't know what to answer. The older man took him in a warm embrace and breathed softly against his head. "Seishirou-san?" "Nnn...?" "We should take a shower." Seishirou made a protesting sound. "I know. But not right now. Let me hold you just a little longer." And as the younger man willingly gave in, he added, grinning: "By the way, I don't think I can stand up and walk just right *now*." "Ehhh—Seishirou-san!" Subaru pushed himself free. "I knew it! I *did* hurt you. I'm – I'm so---" Seishirou had stopped him by putting a hand on his mouth. "Shhh. Subaru, don't you rather think I enjoyed this too? Don't tell me you haven't been listening. I put so much efforts in making you understand I *liked* this!" Subaru remembered every single sound Seishirou had made just a mere moment ago and blushed again. "Yes...." "Yes what? "That – was -... it was very nice to hear you like that." The dark onmyouji smiled and kissed Subaru on his forehead. "Let's doze a little. You wore me out." Subaru protested. "I'm just as worn out as you are." Seishirou chuckled. "Alright, alright!" He wrapped his arms around Subaru again and felt him relax in his embrace. This had gone better then he had hoped. He nuzzled his face against Subaru's hair as he realised, once again, how much he loved him. Subaru quickly felt sleep taking possession of him. The last coherent thought he had was that this, all of this, was going in the right direction. For once something was going in the right direction. He pressed his face harder against the warmth of Seishirou's chest and fell asleep. ~End~</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>