http://clampfix.fanworks.net/smut/fear2.txt </head><body><pre>First Disclaimer: All of the characters belong to Clamp. The song enclosed in x's also belongs to someone else. Second Disclaimer: This fic is not, I repeat, *not* by me! It was written by Maeda Ai (maeda_ai@hotmail.com) who kindly granted permission for me to translate her fic and post the translation. The original Spanish fic can be found at www.fanfiction.net under the title "Miedo." This fic contains point-of-view shifts that will be indicated by ~'s. Third Disclaimer: This fic is a *lemon*! Meaning, it contains adult situations and sexual content. If that's not your idea of a good time, turn back now. _____________________________ Fear by Maeda Ai ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I saw Arashi close her pretty eyes, gradually calming down in those moments. She embraced me with tenderness, yet at the same time a lot of strength; she didn't want it to be over. No, I couldn't stop pleasuring her peaceful form . . . I desired more of her. I brought my head back down to her smooth breasts and pressed my lips onto them; I needed to delight her body, first one breast then the other, again and again, so . . . . "It tilts?" she asked, seeing my eagerness for her. Arashi and I looked at my crotch and I realized that she'd been asking about me. My need for her was urgent and I was more than ready to get to our point of greatest pleasure. Arashi's eyes held both shyness and worry. I kissed her right cheek, letting her know that the answer to her question was yes. "You'll split me in two if you put all that in me," she said, blushing hotly. Perhaps she was scared of pain, after all. I remarked, "Oh, nee-chan . . . . Love hurts!" and gave her a teasing smile that didn't really do much to reassure my beloved, who made a gesture of annoyance toward me. The only thing that I could do to calm her was give her a calm kiss, full of sincerity and affection for her. "I made a promise. I will never make a woman cry." Confession: she seemed to watch me with sadness and her anger had vanished completely. Then, I lowered myself into the arms that she wrapped around me. I felt her trying to be even closer to me than I was to her. She kissed my lips, cheeks, eyes, forehead, over and over again. Those tokens of affection only made her grasp me tighter and hold me closer as if that was the only thing that she had ever wanted. "Sorata-san, what is this that I feel in my heart? These feelings make me so hopeless that I want to run and flee without knowing what they are. What are these emotions inside me? They're something that I don't understand, I don't understand . . . I cannot explain." "Perhaps after tonight, you'll know the answer." Her confusion made her watch me curiously. And I wasn't able to delay my love and desire for her any more. I took her right ahnd to kiss each of her fingers, with deep passion, deep desire . . . with deep tenderness. While I moved up her slim arm, I admired her face as it gained an expression of pleasure and gentleness. When I got to her neck, I started kissing her madly, the caress of my lips coaxing moan after moan from Arashi. Finally, we pressed our hungry lips together. She surprised me by opening my mouth with her tongue, both touched and looked for very insistantly. Her passionate response made me take my young love tightly by the waist. With care, she parted her legs, opening up to me so that we could start to couple our bodies. I watched her face as I got closer and my member arrived at her woman's entrance. I couldn't wait for more, so I slid the tip of my thorn inside her as she parted her lips and tried to moan . . . . Moans were cut off and drowned by the fierce pleasure that intensified. I sighed deeply as I felt the touch of her wet inner skin. She was so exciting and really beautiful. As I first entered her, I wanted to take it slow and enjoy every inch, but my need for her grew to the point that my thrust inside her grew stronger and faster. xxxx "Death . . . you will embrace . . . Done demons meet by a dream, Done bodies are dust without justice." xxxx And then, I felt like I'd gotten to Arashi's limit. I thought that I couldn't go any deeper inside her, so I pushed against her forcefully. That was a mistake because she cried out in pain which shocked me from my delirium. She'd been so sweet that I'd forgotten that this was her first time, too . . . She was innocent and I'd hurt her by not watching my strength. I felt awful, like I wasn't any better than a Chi no Ryu, only concerned with releasing the earth, without stopping to think about the pain they caused or the innocent people they killed. I was exactly like them. I only thought about myself and not about the pain I'd inflicted on the woman I love. My dreams of having her were all that had mattered, making me a demon who destroyed her inner body. I watched a few tears cross her cheeks and saw more unshed tears cling to her eyes. I didn't want to watch them slip down, but . . . . it was necessary, after all. What I saw as I stared down at her crotch wasn't very reassuring; our sexes were dyed red with blood . . . . her blood. Arashi didn't say anything, she only repressed her pain completely, not wanting to show her emotions nor sensations, thus was she. She embraced me tightly while she closed her eyes and tried to calm her pain; countless times I apologized for hurting her. I had never hurt a woman before, I'd sworn never to do it. I was practically her fiance. Now, I had hurt the only woman in my life that I'd ever loved, my dear Arashi . . . But as a comfort, the girl held me tight and tried to control her pain with quick breaths. "You have the reason why . . . . love hurts." I could hardly hear her. Arashi's voice was weak. She was only human after all, so her voice was tired and pained. What she had said disturbed me. She'd not only accepted the pain and forgiven me for hurting her, she also said the word "love" . . . the way she had said it and what I'd felt when hearing her . . . . . "Is it possible that you love me, Arashi?" "You know, Sorata-san. This pain was inevitable, but . . . . you have also made me very happy. Pain is the price I have to pay for this happiness. I only want you to keep making me feel this way, make me feel wanted, calm, without having to think. Although, even this one night, I am a Ten no Ryu." "Arashi." What she'd said cut like a two-edged dagger. My soul was relieved by her words that partially meant she wanted me by her side this way, but she'd also been talking about the enormous sadness that she'd kept in her heart: fear of being a Ten no Ruy along with everything it represented, fear of feeling, and fear of not feeling at all. But although the pain she felt was normal when making love for the first time, that didn't mean that she had to only feel pain; from that moment on, I wanted her body to only be flooded with pleasure. So I kissed her again, tasting her tired lips, giving her all of my love and affection in that gentle touch while my manliness nailed deeper inside her. I thrust inside her desperately time and time again and tried to hurt her as little as possible. I doubt that I did, though; I felt her tremble in my arms a couple of times. It could've been pain, or the cold night, or the new sensations of having me within her. There were moments when I saw her hands tighten on the blankets; shortly after, she gave a very deep sigh of relief. Her pain had almost stopped completely so that she was more used to my body. Blessed was that moment. I didn't have to worry about any more pain or it didn't matter enough to bother her. She gave me a deep, desperate kiss, demanding more of my frantic attempts to reach the limits of her body. I was even more pleased when she began to move with my thrusts into her and out of her. I'd never forget those moments . . . as she took my head and brought me down to her smooth breasts; when my large hands clasped her slender waist; when I tenderly devoured her breasts and tried to sate my desire for them. I felt very near, yet very far from being completely satisfied. "Aaahhh, aaahhh, Sorata!" Her moans were loud enough to fill the room which pleased and excited me more and more. Her breasts were left in peace for a moment so I could watch her and I noticed that her gaze held affection for me. Her eyes shone with emotion rather than the coldness she'd always carried since I knew her. "I'll never, never stop loving you, my dear Arashi . . . . Ten no Ryu. Even when I die, my feelings will live on . . . in you." "Sorata," she whispered, her voice a blend of joy and sorrow at my words. We embraced each other forcefully. I held myself on the verge of a thrust inward, then sunk my face between her breasts. Each one was kissed smoothly and then was left in peace. I raised myself up cautiously and got lost in Arashi's wide eyes. Her cheeks were burning red with passion. Constantly, the pleasure grew unbearable and I was forced to put my hands further under my woman's hips. My penetrations, entering and leaving her, were insistant in their rhythm. We were both moaning with the strain and joy of what we were doing, moaning so much that hers and mine were heard and confused with each other's. Although I entered her easily, her vagina begun to grip my thorn tightly. I heard her heavy breathing made more difficult by the whimpers she released. The whole time, I kept telling her "I love you, I love you, I love you." Suddenly, the girl tightened her embrace. A series of spasms had attacked her from the inside and I felt her tremble under my body. Exhausted, she collapsed into my arms, breathing hurried. I hadn't even gotten to my climax yet, so I kept thrusting inside her with enough force to make her have even more orgasms. During this, I kissed her desperately. I loved watching her come. Moments later, I felt that she couldn't take any more, so I whispered to her . . . . "Arashi, my love, please let me come inside you." The only answer I got from her was a long, furtive kiss and a slightly weak, tired embrace. Our cheeks were pressed close while Arashi's soft hands slid up my back, tickling and soothing me with her touch. I pushed inside her slowly a few more times and soon . . . I overflowed within her, I couldn't control the pressures any more and I released my semen into her. Now, we were both exhausted. My body collapsed onto my woman's fragile figure and our mouths devoured each other. I stayed within her, moved slowly and weakly, and made her release one last time, then finally relax. Her hands played with my messy hair for awhile while we kissed each other's faces. I didn't want to leave her, so I pulled out slowly and laid down beside her. My arms wrapped around her as I covered us both with a blanket. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We stayed silent for awhile, so I laid my forehead on my man's chest; I thought that we'd go to sleep immediately due to our fatigue, but that wasn't to be. I was at war with myself over what I'd expected and believed. I had just given myself to one of the most powerful Ten no Ryu, and also . . . I'd given more than just my body, though I enjoyed that very much, but I had to confess that today my heart was filled with joy and happiness. I only felt that way when I was with Sorata, and . . . . now more than ever. "What are you feeling?" he asked. Sorata-san had told me earlier that I would be able to answer his question by the end of the night. I asked myself if I could perhaps tell him . . . . I love you, Sorata Arisugawa, but I couldn't say it. He gazed at me as I tried to speak. I was surprised and blushing as he watched me tenderly. That tenderness sometimes made me feel almost hopeless because it made my heart melt with . . . . . love. My eyes closed little by little as I saw him slowly bring his body close to me, lower his head down, and press his lips against mine again. He said to me, "I love you." My eyes closed as he hugged me. I thought that the others would be very surprised to see us acting like a pair of newlyweds. Why did I think that? Moments ago, I'd decided that I wanted to always be at Sorata's side. While it wasn't much, it was all I needed in life. The expression on his face grew serious. I thought that he'd at least gotten upset and it reflected in his gaze . . . . . xxxx "Before death, allow love in life. Until the sun . . . . escapes with the moon . . . . Until the sun . . . . escapes with the moon . . . ." xxxx "Before death, let me love you for more than just one day. As for what we did, it doesn't matter if the sky falls from our sin . . . Until the sun and the moon escape together in an eclipse . . . . let my love be for more than one night, let it be eternal." He said that to me and looked more serious than I'd ever seen him before. I smiled at him. I'd forgotten that even though he was very lively, he was cheerful and he made jokes, when he had to be serious, he was more than anyone. He was serious abou the things that truly deserved it and what was important to him. "It's true, this will never end . . . . or be ended." What I said made him smile widely; he was well aware of the fact that my words were an answer of yes to his earlier questions. I kissed him and begun to believe that I was becoming obsessed with feeling my lips pressed to his. We separated slightly, just a few millimeters, and even with closed eyes and peace reflected on his face, he said to me: "I even chose my destiny before knowing what it was. I will protect you, I'll give my life for the life of the woman who owns me, and you're well aware of the fact that you're that woman, Arashi." He focused on me when he finished speaking which delayed my response to him. He saw the ironic expression on my face; I smiled slightly at him when he asked me why. "I . . . . . will not let you act like such a madman." After listening to my words, he kissed me and said an annoying thing very sweetly. He said that what I thought about it absolutely didn't matter to him and when it came to that subject he'd already made his choice. To this, I said something similar to him, that I had made a choice as well, but he interrupted me, asking me what it was before I could say. My response was: "I choose to overcome the fears that eat away at my soul . . . . . Fear of my feelings for you and fear of living without you. Nothing else frightens me." He hugged me and watched with surprise when I gave him a radiant smile, filled with great happiness and a strange affection. "The feelings you have for me?" he stressed, wanting toknow what I meant by that. "Sorata . . . I will also give my life for yours and it doesn't matter to me what you think about it. You're not the only one who can choose to die for the one you love, because I . . . . . . will also protect you always, because I . . . ." "Arashi, you . . ." he interrupted when he saw a pair of tears slide down my cheeks. "Ai shiteru." I couldnt' let him finish, so I finally said the words that I'd always wanted to say. I kissed him as he embraced me; I wanted to fill his heart with strength and emotion . . . for me, for us. Now he sheltered me in his arms until the arrival of daylight, until the purpose of our lives begun again . . . . . After fulfilling our destiny, I knew we'd be together, him and I in the heavens . . . . for eternity. xxxx "FEAR Fear of life Fear of death Fear of living without the person who loves me Fear of hurting those who we love Fear of experiencing feelings like love Fear of the same life" xxxx _________________________________________ end translation of "Miedo," by Maeda Ai (maeda_ai@hotmail.com ------------------- In the Discman: "From the Choirgirl Hotel," by Tori Amos In the DVD player: "Dangerous Liasons" On the Nightstand: "Kushiel's Dart," by Jacqueline Carey</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>