http://clampfix.fanworks.net/smut/kamui2.txt </head><body><pre> As the sun was sinking below the horizon in a glorious explosion of hot pinks and oranges, Karen Kasumi walked up the path leading to the wing of the Imoyama mansion occupied by five of the Seven Seals. She came here every Sunday night for dinner. It did her a world of good. After a long, long week of the tawdry roleplay of the bathhouses, it was so nice to be among people who were . . . *real*. And being among this particular group especially renewed her spirits, because among them, she could experience the kind of carefree adolescence she'd never had. She loved watching Sorata tease Arashi, and her seemingly cold responses. She loved Yuzuriha's cheerful prattle. Looking at any one of them, you'd never know they were literally carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders at such a young age. And then, there was Kamui and Subaru. There was just such a *tenderness* there, in the way they gazed at each other, the way their fingers would graze each other lightly sometimes, and linger for a heartbeat more than they had to. Karen wondered if they were even aware of the depth of their feelings for each other. But when she knocked on the door, a glum-looking Yuzuriha answered it. Alarm bells instantly went off in Karen's head. "Yuzuriha," she said, "what happened?" "Come in, Karen-san," the younger girl said. At her feet, Inuki plodded along as she led the way into the living room, his eyes fixed on the floor. Karen sat down on the couch, carefully tucking the black sundress that was cut just a little too low on top and just a little too high on the bottom under her legs. The whole place seemed quiet . . . far too quiet. "Where are the others?" she said. "Sorata-san and Arashi-san went to get takeout," the girl said, looking down at her folded hands. "None of us felt like cooking tonight." "And Kamui?" Yuzuriha looked up at the older women with sorrowful eyes. "He hasn't come down since this morning. We haven't seen Subaru-san, either." Karen frowned a bit. It wasn't unusual for either one of them to be moody. And Subaru was a very secretive person . . . she doubted that anyone, with the possible exception of Kamui, really knew him. But this, coupled with the look on Yuzuriha's face . . . something wasn't right. "Did they have a fight with each other? Or one of you?" "Well . . . not exactly . . ." She looks like she's dying to tell me, Karen thought, but she can't find the words. And the way she's fidgeting . . . whatever it is, it's making her very uncomfortable. "Maybe I should go up and talk to him," Karen said, quietly. "I don't know if he will," Yuzuriha replied, reaching down to ruffle Inuki's fur. "Ever since we saw him and Subaru-san . . ." She suddenly caught herself, turning bright red. And Karen was beginning to get a picture of what had happened. Poor Kamui, she thought. To have been struggling with a hidden relationship on top of everything else he went through, and then to have that relationship exposed . . . "He may talk to me," she said, and headed for the stairs. * * * In his room, Kamui lay on his bed, his arms around his pillow. There was still a faint scent of Subaru clinging to it. He thought of their lovemaking, how beautiful it had been . . . And then, how things turned sour and bitter when the others had burst in on them. Subaru had left shortly after the incident, saying he needed to go for a walk. He'd invited Kamui to join him. Kamui had declined. He didn't want to risk running into any of the others. I wish Kotori were still here, he thought. She'd understand. And so would Fuuma . . . the *real* Fuuma . . . He buried his head in the pillow again. He didn't want to think of Fuuma and Kotori on top of everything else. When the knock came on his door, he ignored it. Just go away, he thought. But the knock came again, accompanied by a voice this time: "Kamui, please open the door. I want to talk to you." It was Karen. They must have sent her up here, he thought. "There's nothing to talk about," he replied, pulling the pillow over his head as if to shut her out. "If you've been hiding in your room all day, I think there is." Fine, he thought. I'll talk to her for a couple of minutes so she'll leave me alone. He went to the door and opened it. Karen was alarmed by the look on his face. There was a mixture of anger and pain there that she usually associated with the aftermath of confrontations with Fuuma. The room behind him was in total darkness, except for the weak last rays of the setting sun coming through the window. "Come on in," he said as he walked back to the bed and flopped down on it. She reached over to the light switch and turned it on, then pulled up Kamui's desk chair to the bed and sat down. For a second, there was total silence, he looking up at the ceiling, she folding her hands on her lap and waiting for him to talk. Finally, she said, "What happened this morning, Kamui? Yuzuriha seemed very concerned." He raised his head. "Nothing. Nothing, really." "Did they walk in on you and Subaru?" He suddenly sat bolt upright, violet eyes blazing with fury. "Who told you?" he said. "I have eyes, Kamui. I've seen you together." The boy flopped down to the bed and stared at the ceiling again. "Are we really that obvious?" "Well, I noticed it," she said, smiling gently. "It's a shame, really, but it just goes to prove . . . all the good men are married or gay." "I'm not gay," Kamui said, quickly, sitting up again. "I mean, I'm not . . . not *really* gay. Not completely. I just . . ." "You're just in love with Subaru," she replied. He looked down, fiddling with the blankets. "Yeah." She got up and sat at the foot of the bed, putting a hand on his wrist. "Kamui, being gay does *not* make you any different." She gave a wry smile. "Do you think that the instant you acknowledge it, you'll be transformed into a member of the Village People?" "No," he said, quickly. "It's just that . . . I'm worried what the others will think . . ." He looked down again. "In my old school, in Okinawa, there were a couple of guys who were gay, and as soon as the other guys found out . . . well, guys who used to be their friends didn't want to be with them anymore. They even got beaten up. I don't want that to happen. Especially not with . . . what we have to go through together." "Kamui," Karen said, letting go of his wrist and brushing back her red curls, "do you really think any of them would have a problem with it? You've known them for awhile now . . . are any of them that kind of people?" He shook his head. "But . . . the look on their faces when they walked in . . " "And precisely what state were the two of you in when they walked in?" Kamui turned a bright crimson and said nothing. She had her answer. She gave a little chuckle. "People tend to react when they stumble in on that no matter what the combination of people involved. Believe me, in my line of work . . . I know." Kamui blushed again. He tried not to think too much about the fact his friend made her living in the bordellos that were given the euphemistic name "Soaplands." "So . . . what should I do now?" he said. "Go down and talk to them. They're worried about you. Yuzuriha looked downright depressed when I arrived, and you know that's saying a lot." Kamui got off the bed and reached for a pair of jeans . . . he'd been in his T-shirt and underwear all day. "Okay . . . tell them I'll be right down. And Karen-san . . . thanks." She gave his shoulder a squeeze and walked toward the door, then looked back over her shoulder and said teasingly, "And it really *is* a shame that the best ones are gay or taken. Or, in this case, both." She gave him a wink and left the room. Kamui finished dressing and went to the mirror, quickly running a brush through his unruly hair. She said she noticed Subaru and I together, he thought. And if she noticed it, the others must have *really* noticed it, since they live with us. And it's not as if we were still *doing it* when they walked in, right? He started for the door, when it opened again and someone else walked in. "Subaru!" Kamui cried, rushing to his lover and throwing his arms around him. "Where did you go?" Subaru hugged him back. "I went . . . to be near my sister. I wanted to think, and I figured that would help . . ." Kamui knew exactly the place he was talking about . . . the one sakura tree in Ueno Park that bloomed throughout the year. The Sakurazukamori's tree, where Hokuto Sumeragi had died. "I didn't come down all day," Kamui said. "But Karen-san and I had a talk, and . . . I'm feeling better about it now." "I'm glad," Subaru replied, gently easing away from Kamui's embrace. "What happened this morning . . ." "It was embarrassing," Kamui said. "I wanted to die. And it was the worst possible way for them to find out about us." "I know," Subaru said, quietly. "I wanted to die, too." "I didn't want them to find out I was . . . well . . ." "Gay?" Subaru said, stroking Kamui's hair. Kamui nodded, slowly. "Is it really such a bad thing, Kamui?" "No," Kamui said, quickly, sitting back down on the bed. "Not at all. When we were together . . . gods, I was so happy . . ." "You have to be true to yourself, Kamui. You can't do things based on what other people think." Kamui's hands clenched and unclenched the bedcovers. "I know, but . . . I . . . I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable with my choice to be with you." "And they won't be," Subaru said, sitting next to him and taking his hand. Kamui tightened his fingers against Subaru's, trying not to look at the downward-pointing pentagram on the back of his hand that marked him as they prey of the Sakurazukamori. Subaru was my age when he was with that bastard, he thought. "Subaru . . . can I ask you something?" "Of course," Subaru said, gently kissing Kamui's forehead. "Were you always gay? I mean, did you always know?" Subaru stroked Kamui's hair gently with his other hand. "Yes, I did. I think Hokuto knew before I did. From the time we were very small, she used to tease me about liking this guy or that guy. And, a lot of times . . . she was right." "And you never had a problem with it?" "No," Subaru replied. "It was just the way I was . A part of me . . . like my onmiyoujutsu ability." "I always liked both guys and girls," Kamui said. "I didn't want to admit it, though. I'd tell myself that I wanted to be with a guy because we were such good friends, or because I really liked his sister, but . . ." "But . . . you can admit it now." "Yes," Kamui said, squeezing Subaru's hand. "And I don't have a problem with it. I just worry . . " "Don't," Subaru said. "If you don't have a problem with it . . . that's all that matters." Kamui pulled Subaru into his arms, and the two embraced, followed by a soft kiss. "I guess we have to go down and face them, don't we?" "Yes," Subaru said. "But . . . we have to just talk to them and try to put it behind us. There's more important things than that." This took Kamui aback, and he moved away from Subaru a bit. "There's more important things than you and me together?" Subaru reached out and grasped his hand. "No, Kamui . . . I mean there's more important things than worrying about what happened. Like your Wish. If you worry too much about little things, you won't be able to fulfill it." He wanted again to ask Subaru what *his* wish was. He still wouldn't tell Kamui, except to say it would make people sad if it were to be fulfilled. But he figured this wasn't the time or place. "I guess you're right," he said, quietly. Subaru hugged him again. "Are you nervous about talking to them?" Kamui nodded his head. "Don't be. It may be awkward at first, but . . . I think you'll get through it." As they headed for the door, Kamui said, quietly, "Subaru . . . since they know about us anyway . . . will you stay with me tonight?" There was a pause, during which Kamui wondered if he'd been too forward, if he should have said anything. But Subaru put an arm around his shoulder, gave him a squeeze and said, "Yes, I will." * * * Kamui and Subaru came down the stairs to find Karen, Sorata and Yuzuriha talking in the living room. Arashi was coming out of the dining room. All eyes turned toward them, and conversation came to a dead stop. Suddenly, Kamui didn't feel so self-assured about this anymore. In fact, he felt like he wanted to sink into the floor. They've seen me naked, he thought. And they saw me with Subaru . . . He felt a blush creeping over his cheeks. Arashi just hovered around the kitchen doorway. I can't think of a thing to say right now, she thought. Yuzuriha looked at the floor, similar thoughts in her own head. Well, Sorata thought, looks like it's me to the rescue again! He leapt to his feet and clapped Kamui on the back. "Hey, Kamui . . . want some dinner? It's just sushi, but I picked it out myself . . . with some help from my gorgeous assistant, of course." He winked at Arashi, who crossed her arms and scowled at him. Yuzuriha gave Kamui a big smile, but it was obvious she was feeling awkward. Kamui could only smile back. He looked up at Subaru, and saw the tension in his lover's face as well. Karen just sat on the couch, giving him an encouraging look . . . which was doing him no good whatsoever. This is *not* working, Kamui thought. It's just as bad as I thought it was going to be . . .stiff and uncomfortable all the way around. We shouldn't have even tried this. I have to say something . . . something to break the ice . . . He heard himself blurting out, "Subaru and I . . . it wasn't . . . well . . . um . . ." The words finally melted Yuzuriha's shyness about the incident. She hopped out of her seat and rushed over to him. "Kamui-san . . . it's all right. It really is." "No, it isn't!" Kamui cried, pulling away from Subaru. "You all saw us together. . ." "Kamui . . . it *is* okay," Sorata said. "I haven't got a problem with it. If two guys want to be together, hey, that's cool! Especially two boys as pretty as you." Kamui looked at Subaru, then back at Sorata. "You . . you mean that?" "Sure, I mean it!" he said. "And . . . I mean it too," said Yuzuriha, looking down shyly. "Walking in on you . . . it was strange, but . . . it *was* all an accident. And . . . I've kinda thought you belonged together all along." "You have?" Subaru said, obvious surprise in his voice. "Yes!" she replied. "Right after you brought him out of his heart, after Kotori died . . . I saw how you two looked at each other, and I thought . . . that you liked each other right away." "Thank you," Kamui said, softly. "And, um, can I ask you a question?" "Sure!" the inugami-mistress said, as they headed for the dining room. "How did you get in?" "Inuki can turn himself into a skeleton key," she said. "I taught him to do that when I was a little kid so . . ." She stopped and blushed. "So . . . what?" Kamui said. "So I could get cookies out of the cabinet. My grandmother always locked it." Karen hung back, watching the scene. I told him there was nothing to be concerned about, she thought. I didn't think anybody would mind a bit. Kamui is special, and they all know it. And she was happy for Kamui and Subaru . . . if anybody needed to be happy, it was the two of them. They settled down at the dinner table, Kamui and Subaru side-by-side. They passed the sushi, Yuzuriha slipped a piece to Inuki, Sorata made a remark about how nobody could swirl wasabi around like Arashi, she poked him with her chopsticks . . . Things were back to normal. Subaru had to admit he felt relieved over that, although he wouldn't admit it to Kamui. He didn't want anything getting in the way of his lover's happiness. He knew that nothing and nobody would ever replace Hokuto and Seishriou in his life, and he'd never truly be at peace until he settled things with Seishirou once and for all. But here, with Kamui, life itself didn't hurt the way it used to. And for him, that was enough. * * * It was a couple of days later. Sorata was making breakfast again. This time, he thought, I'm *really* going to impress her! He opened the box he'd bought the other day . . . from a professional cooking supply store, no less! . . . and took out the authentic Belgian waffle iron. And I'm gonna make her five different types of waffles! he thought, opening a bag and taking out cans of fruit compotes. Strawberry, cherry, blueberry, peach, and the piece de resistance . . . butter pecan! The can of pecans he'd bought, however, wasn't in the bag. Not again! he thought. The pecans . . . were bought at the same store as the socks and razor blades, which means . . . in my room again. He raced up the stairs, grabbed the can, started heading back . . . And heard a sound coming from Kamui's room. A soft moan, followed by a "Subaru . . . that feels so good . . ." Sorata continued down the stairs . . . where he proceeded to take all the cans, and the waffle iron, and put them back where they came from. He walked outside, where the girls were finishing their sparring practice. "Ladies," he said, "we're going out for breakfast this morning. My treat." After all, he thought, I gotta let the lovebirds have their privacy, right? Because soon, they're going to be doing the same for me and Nee-chan! * * * Subaru finished the massage, and wiped his hands off on the towel. "There . . . how's that?" Kamui sat up and flexed his shoulders. "Much better." "You should warm up some before you have your fencing lessons," he said. "You'll be a lot less likely to pull a muscle then." Kamui hopped off the bed and buttoned up his uniform shirt. "I know, I know . . . I'm sure Arashi's going to say the same thing to me. Let's go downstairs . . . Sorata's supposed to be making a great breakfast this morning." "Another one?" said Subaru, capping the bottle of oil and putting it back in the nighttable. "What is it this time?" "Belgian waffles," said Kamui. "He was all excited about it last night." They came down the stairs . . . strange, Kamui thought, I don't smell anything . . . The kitchen was empty. So was the dining room. Kamui realized what must have happened . . . and started to laugh. Softly, then louder, and louder . . . "What's wrong?" Subaru said. "Nothing," Kamui replied. "Come on, I think we're eating out this morning." And then, an idea came to him, and he turned to Subaru with a sly smile. "That is . . . unless we want something other than food for breakfast . . ." He put his arms around Subaru and kissed him. "Hmm," Subaru said. "What brought this on?" Kamui kissed his lover's neck, and said, softly, "Well, if everyone *thinks* we were upstairs in bed . . . we don't want to make liars of them, do we?" Subaru smiled back at him, and they kissed again, before heading back up the stairs. AUTHOR'S NOTES: This story began as a "remake" of another piece I'd done a long time ago, a short slapstick bit about a couple's rendevous being interrupted by friends who misinterpreted the sounds inside the bedroom. It evolved into a much more serious coming-out story. Thanks tons to my editor, Steve Savage, and my friends Cheyne, Sonya-chan and Rachel, as well as the members of the Subaru_Kamui ML! X is the property of CLAMP. These characters ain't mine, I'm just borrowing them for a little while.</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>