http://clampfix.fanworks.net/smut/mirror2.txt </head><body><pre>Mirror, Mirror a Rayearth fanfic by Mark Neidengard Once more, she opened her eyes. She was lying on a grassy plain, uneven terrain stretching away toward misty hills far in the distance. The air was somewhere between hot and cold, the sky an ambiguous shade of gray. Just like before, she found she could still move her body, though she was so tired that she almost didn't want to try. Unbidden, an image of her two best friends flashed before her mind's eye. They were smiling. Before she could remember why, the image slipped away, replaced by the image of Princess Emeraude's face at the moment her sword had pierced her body. Even now, she flinched inwardly, almost screwing her eyes shut again until she remembered that that wouldn't help. "Isn't that a happy memory, Hikaru?" She rolled over reflexively into a crouch, grimacing as the tiredness in her legs made her knee threaten to cramp. Nova was looking at her with that slightly glazed smile, her eyes bright like a child's on Christmas. "That's really a happy memory, right Hikaru? Datte, all the pain is her fault...everything is her fault!" "Chigau!" The effort it took to get the word out didn't show. "We all did it together!" Hikaru stood unsteadily, hands balled into fists at her side. There was still light in her large red eyes. But the light in Nova's eyes was brighter. "That's the problem, _isn't_ it, Hikaru? You three are always _together_, aren't you?" Nova's tone became tinged with rage. "Everyone's always making Hikaru be like them...not letting her be herself! _RIGHT_, Hikaru?!" Nova's twin shafts of light sprang from her hands, forming into a cross. "Everyone's keeping you away from ME!" Hikaru tried to focus the strength of her heart into a shield against the weapon, but she was just too tired, had faced this too many times in a row. It caught her in the solar plexus, knocking her back several feet and toppling her backward onto the ground. At least the grass cushioned her fall as she landed on her back. Nova floated over next to her, fist outstretched. Hikaru's eyes widened in fear of the pain she knew was coming, but again her shield couldn't prevent the first energy blast from hitting home, sending a shock through her entire body and draining all the strength from her arms and legs. "See?" Nova's tone was victorious, but something in her eyes didn't add up as Hikaru struggled to keep her eyes open. "All they've done is make it harder to protect yourself." Hikaru wanted to answer that, but after Nova had beaten her so many times, the words just didn't come. Nova knelt next to her, easing into a sitting position. "Poor Hikaru," she said solicitously. "Always being hurt by everyone around her." Images of the pain she'd suffered fighting for Umi and Fuu flickered through her mind for a moment. "Everyone always picks on you, right, Hikaru? I understand...I understand what it's like to be made fun of by everybody, to be picked on by everybody. To have nobody love me." Nova's gloved hand brushed lightly through Hikaru's hair. "That's what you really want, right?" "...Love?" Hikaru managed. Nova's eyes were almost tender. Love...she _was_ loved...wasn't she? She had her brothers...Masaru, Kakeru, Satoru...but they always looked down to her as their little sister, didn't they? Umi and Fuu were her best friends, that she knew. Friends forever!...but somehow she couldn't warm her soul with that thought - something was missing. Lantis. "Nee, Hikaru? Why do you think he doesn't love you? You know, don't you?" The explosion of Zagato's mashin, etched into her mind. "But..." Nova looked her directly in the eyes. "You're the one who killed his brother, because of Emeraude." That's right. She had killed Zagato. _If_only_... "If only she hadn't made you do that...right Hikaru?" Was it irony that she saw in Nova's expression? "_But_, do you think that would have really made everything okay, Hikaru?" Hikaru's eyes widened in shock. "Isn't that right? Nobody's ever looked at you _that_ way, have they, Hikaru?" The words...the words she knew all too well. Too short. Too skinny. Too much like a _boy_. The epithets traced over her heart in letters of ice. "All your friends in school have boyfriends, don't they, Hikaru? _Those_ two have boyfriends too, don't they? You're the only one everybody ignores." Hikaru had no way to doubt the words. Nova traced a finger down Hikaru's cheek, drying the tear forming in her eye with the silk of her glove. "They don't see all the wonderful things about you, Hikaru," Nova said wistfully. "It's so unfair. They can't see you as a girl, even though your body has done so much to you..." Nova's hand continued down Hikaru's cheek, fingers tracing the contours of her Adam's apple and ruffling through her uniform bow. The tips of her middle three fingers rested lightly on Hikaru's sternum, over her heart. "It isn't easy, is it, Hikaru? You changed so much...grew up so much...and noone even notices. You hurt _here_...I can feel it, Hikaru. Nobody pays attention... nobody pays attention to any part of you..." Nova's touch was light, her fingertips sliding almost imperceptibly over the fabric of Hikaru's blouse to touch her right breast. Stretching out to lie beside Hikaru, Nova brought her lips close enough to Hikaru's ear that her breath stirred Hikaru's hair. "I'll tell you a secret, Hikaru," she whispered. "I know what you're feeling. I know what you're _imagining_. I know...what you're wishing for." Nova's fingers tensed subtly, pressing against the soft, firm flesh beneath as she slowly brought her fingertips closer together. "You don't have to hide it, Hikaru, not from yourself. Not from me. You held it in a long time, _didn't_ you? I know what you wondered...deep inside...what it would be like...if he touched you..._here_." Nova brought the extreme tips of her fingers together to gently squeeze the tip of Hikaru's stiffening nipple. Hikaru's breath caught in her throat at the sensation. A wave of tingling spread through her, making her chest feel tight and her muscles tense. Nova's eyes were fixed on Hikaru's expression, pulling her hand away slowly and letting the nipple stretch slightly before it slipped from her fingertips. Hikaru met Nova's gaze, so close that their noses almost touched, her eyes frantically seeking some sort of explanation. Nova smiled softly in reply, laying her hand again on Hikaru's breast from beneath and gently caressing her through the layers of thin cloth. "See, Hikaru?" Nova purred slowly. "You _are_ all grown up...you're just afraid...to believe it." She punctuated the sentence by brushing Hikaru's nipple between her thumb and two fingers, slightly harder this time. Hikaru was becoming acutely aware of the warmth of Nova's body next to hers, of the unfamiliar, glowing sensation from Nova's touch. She tried to think, to remember if this was somehow terribly wrong, but the weariness and the...was that feeling pleasure?...made her thoughts seem less and less important. Something deep in her body was responding to Nova's touch...something she'd been almost afraid to wonder about all the times she'd glanced fleeting at herself in the mirror. Something important. Nova listened to Hikaru's breathing beginning to tense, her smile becoming more intent. "You like this..._right_, Hikaru?" "A...atashi..wa..." Hikaru didn't know herself how to finish the sentence. Nova snuggled closer to Hikaru, resting her forehead against Hikaru's and bringing her spandex-encased legs close enough to touch Hikaru's bare ones. "Shhh...I know how it feels, Hikaru...everything everyone should have given you...but didn't..." She squeezed her fingers together. Hikaru gasped aloud, struggling to keep her breathing steady. What Nova was doing...she...she wanted... "I'll give it to you, Hikaru...I'll be everything you ever missed. Just never...look away." Nova's lips met Hikaru's. Hikaru didn't move for many, many heartbeats. This...this felt like...it felt..._good_. Like something she had been missing for a long time. Was _this_ what...it was supposed to be like? But Nova was...Nova...was... She closed her eyes. Her body told her it didn't matter. Her lips softened against Nova's, Nova's kiss getting firmer as she drew Hikaru closer with her free arm. When Nova finally parted the kiss, her eyes were shining, cheeks tinged with the most delicate flush. She did something with her fingers, and Hikaru's brows and jaw tensed with what would have otherwise been a look of pain. "Don't be afraid..." she whispered. She did it again, and Hikaru gasped, languidly, as her back arched in response. Sliding her hand down to Hikaru's midriff, she began to tug gently at Hikaru's blouse, sliding it slowly out of the slip of her skirt. Hikaru opened her eyes again at that, but before she could voice an objection Nova placed her forehead against Hikaru's again, touching the tips of their noses together. Successfully exposing a small amount of flesh, Nova slid her hand into the gap, using her forearm to pull Hikaru's blouse further out of the way. She slid her fingers slowly upward, following the curves of her navel along the way. The sensation of silk and Nova's tingling warmth against her skin made Hikaru shiver slightly. Gazing into Hikaru's eyes, Nova whispered "That's a good girl..." as her fingers reached and deftly undid the catch to Hikaru's bra. "No..va... why?" Hikaru whispered. A final defense. Nova began to spread her fingers lightly over Hikaru's breast. "Why..." Nova brushed her lips against Hikaru's. "Because...I love Hikaru. I'm everything Hikaru needs... everything Hikaru really wants." She circled Hikaru's nipple slowly with the tip of her middle finger, feeling the flush of her blood. "Because I need you, Hikaru." She added another finger, and Hikaru couldn't entirely stifle her cry. "B...but I...I-" Nova cut her off with her touch, fingers beginning a gentle rhythm that Hikaru's body wouldn't let her ignore. Hikaru closed her eyes again, all struggles finished at last but the struggle to withstand the feeling of Nova's caress. Nova turned her head to bring the edge of her pointed ear in contact with Hikaru's cheek, her hand behind Hikaru's neck tilting her head back slightly as she slid her mouth down to kiss Hikaru under her chin. Shifting positions, she brought her other hand around to touch Hikaru's other breast, eliciting another stifled cry as Hikaru's body squirmed to try to accommodate the new sensation. Hikaru's breathing was getting thready, her breaths threatening to turn into whimpers. She didn't even know what her body was doing anymore, the tingling becoming urgent almost everywhere at once, but especially...at... Almost reluctantly, Nova released one of Hikaru's breasts and slid her hand fleeting down Hikaru's slender midriff, arching her fingers elegantly as she slid them over the crest of Hikaru's skirt-covered thigh. She reached the hem and let her fingers rest slightly to the inside, beginning the slow task of sliding the skirt towards Hikaru's waist. Hikaru's legs tightened involuntarily against the sensation, drawing a satisfied "mmm" from Nova. Slowly, she uncovered Hikaru's femininity, sheathed lightly in cotton and pressed between her legs. "_Yes_," Nova said somewhere in her throat, drawing her fingers along the sensitive skin next to Hikaru's pelvic bone and slipping them lovingly inside the elastic. She pointed her first two fingers, pressing them between Hikaru's skin with exquisite care. "Right...._here_." Hikaru's cry was for real this time. The tingling, aching sensation from her clitoris was unlike anything Hikaru had felt, had even thought to wonder about. Half of her body tried to pull away from the urgency of the feeling, while the other half tried to bring her closer for more. Every muscle in her body tensed, pelvis twisting in a desperate, involuntary attempt to try to dislodge Nova's hand, but there was nowhere to go. The gentleness of the rhythm of Nova's fingers was exquisite torture. Nova's gaze was fixed on Hikaru's face, her burning eyes reading in Hikaru's expression whatever her fingers missed. Even if Hikaru had words, they would have had no meaning for either of them. Nothing mattered. No memory. No thoughts, no faces. Everything was the feeling claiming her body a millimeter at a time. The flames...the flames were rising higher...higher.....higher..........higher... ........high-er..... Hikaru screamed. The echos washed over her, one after another...stirring her body, stirring her soul. The blinding light she felt, rather than saw, slowly receded from her arms and legs, unclouding her mind and slowly abandoning her sensitive places. Leaving her weak and trembling. She concentrated on her breathing, trying to smooth and steady it. Her body felt light, almost like someone else's. Slowly, she noticed that her clothing seemed to be back in place, blouse tucked in at the waist and skirt laying across her thighs. She felt the slightest trace of dampness between her thighs...as though a remnant from what she and... She opened her eyes, staring up at a gray sky far above. Nova and she had...she had... What had she done? What had it felt like? After a long moment, the answer came into her mind. Good. After another moment: very good. She paused. "Everything you ever missed..." came Nova's voice in her memory. Everything... she'd missed. Missed? Was she...supposed to feel this way? Was this her...right? It had felt _good_. _Good_. She repeated the word in her mind. Was this what lovers did? What they felt? What...they were _supposed_ to feel? In her mind's eye, she saw Emeraude's spirit in Zagato's arms. Her eyes looked so content...what she'd wanted, all along, was to be with him. And Zagato...she saw Nova's eyes again, looking at her that way... she...did he...? The Hashira is not permitted to wish for its own happiness. Clef's words. The Hashira sustains the peace and order of the world with its Prayers. Why had she had to die? _Because_she_wanted_something_for_herself_. Wanted? _Wanted_what_was_hers_. And the world had almost died. Hikaru sat up slowly, noticing that she was now in a rocky, barren land, the ground hard beneath her. Umi, Fuu...we promised we'd always be together. _San'nin_isshoni_. But..._jibun_jishin_no_tame_ni_. She had to do both. She had to fight for everyone so that she could fight...for herself. Or it was all over. "Hikaru?" Nova's voice came from behind her. Hikaru stood up slowly, still facing away. She had a lot to learn...many things she didn't know. Many things to find out. But one thing was clear. She turned around, trying to summon the strength to look Nova straight in the eyes. "So, Hikaru," Nova began plaintively, "will you stay here with me?" Hikaru didn't know if the fires burning within her were enough, but she had to try. For everybody's sake. "No," she said flatly. Nova's expression contorted. "No?" she said incredulously. "No," Hikaru repeated, raising her hands in preparation for a spell. "So, you want to _play_ some more?!" Nova exclaimed, the glaze creeping back into her eyes. Her voice was hysterical. "Well, we can do that _too_!" Once more the beams of energy flew through the air. Author's Notes for Mirror, Mirror --------------------------------- This story is set between episodes 33 and 37 of the Rayearth TV series during Hikaru's struggle to recall her sword. She is being trapped inside her own mind and forced to fight Nova time and again, unable to prevail because of gaps in her self-confidence. This story is a fictious episode that is supposed to segue into the final confrontation in episode 37. I was motivated to write this by finishing my scans of images from the RE LDs. There's nothing like slow-motion scrutiny to emphasize parts of a series that get overlooked otherwise, and one thing that leaped out at me was the degree to which Nova's relationship with Hikaru was _not_ Platonic. The art style and animation are understated, but the eroticism is unmistakable. Most strikingly, in the sequence around 12 minutes into episode 37, Nova is specifically shown fondling Hikaru's breast (rather pointedly too...) This was a bit more than they'd shown before (and if the art had been any more appealing would probably have gotten censored!), and got me thinking about what might have led up to it. Somewhat in opposition to many other members of the CML, I've long held the theory, based on following the anime closely, that Hikaru is not quite as naive as everyone seems to treat her as. Even outside this interaction with Hikaru, there are pivotal scenes like the onsen episode (31) which lead me to believe that, while Hikaru may not be "experienced", she has at least given her own sexuality a _little_ thought. In this piece, I seek to paint this seldom-seen side of Hikaru in a sympathetic light while exploring her deep, intimate connection with Nova. Also, I'm known for lamenting a shortage of worthwhile yuri fics in the world (especially compared to the masses of yaoi offerings), and this work might be viewed as an attempt to put my "money where my mouth is" and do something about it. =) Those who know of Rayearth primarily (or solely) through the manga may find this fic more than a little incomprehensible. I can only recommend that you treat yourself to the TV series and its variant version of the story. =)</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>