http://clampfix.fanworks.net/smut/theeye.txt </head><body><pre>I hereby declare Seishirou's eyeball as the Messenger of H. What had started off as a little fic on how Kamui would have to come to terms with Subaru's other eye somehow "degenerated" into my first Yaoi fic. No, there are no kinky stuff involving the eye itself, though I do have some ideas churning in my brain. Perhaps for another fic *gets bricked by Lika* Anyway, this is dedicated to Lika, Satsuki-chan (thanks for the expanding eyeball), Line-chan, and all faithful worshippers of the Almighty Eyeball. C&C are welcome, but please be gentle. This is my "first" PWP, after all. All characters are either property of CLAMP. Standard disclaimers apply. --- The Eye An "X" Fanfic (Warning: NC-17) Presented by Alison Koh /I am as much a part of it as it is a part of me./ The eye. The one that had once existed as the Sakurazukamori's left eye, and which has now replaced Subaru's missing right. From left to right. Another mirror imagery. Just as the Sumeragi Clan reflected the Sakurazukamori. Kamui winced at the thought of that eye. It was not as if the eye looked grotesque or anything of that sort. In fact, the subtle contrast between Subaru's own sea green and the eye's hazel brown had lent a certain exotic sensuality to Subaru's formidable beauty. Yet Kamui could not disassociate the eye with the odious memories of its donor, of how the Sakurazukamori had brought the pain of betrayal and death to the Sumeragi. Even now, with the Sakurazukamori dead and the battle for the Promised Day over, Kamui still hated that man. He could not bear the thought of that man being an inseparable part of Subaru, and he would have willingly offered one of his own eyes to replace that one. Except that Subaru would certainly refuse. Kamui was a regular visitor to Subaru's new home, a small house with a traditional Japanese garden that had belonged to generations of the Sakurazukamori Clan. On his first visit, he was surprised to find the place unusually serene and comfortable, totally at odds with a family so steeped in blood and violence. There was no sense of evil or dread, which he had mistakenly attributed to Subaru's positive influence. Subaru had smiled with faint amusement at the suggestion, and made some esoteric explanation about channelling the balancing forces of yin and yang to create a harmonious existence that all onmyoujis practised, much of which had gone over Kamui's confused head. During the past two years, his relationship with the onmyouji has gradually progressed to a level beyond mere friendship. They understood each other without the need for spoken words, bonded, as they were, by the similar tragedies that had unfolded in their different pasts. Both had lost an important person to another person whom they loved, and both were forced by fate and circumstances to kill that person. Still, time had proved to be a healing balm, and whatever hurt was left was bearable knowing that someone else understood. Occasionally, shadows from the past did threaten Kamui's still-fragile state of mind, but they were easily dispelled by the quiet presence of the Sumeragi. Nevertheless, there were some ghosts that apparently could never be exorcised. Whenever the two of them looked into each other's eyes, a prelude towards breaking down the last barrier between themselves, Kamui always imagined that he saw a flicker of contempt in that eye, laughing at him, challenging him, as if saying, "No matter what you do, Subaru-kun belongs to me forever." It was no more than the faintest hint but it was enough to break the spell of the moment. And then Kamui would beat a hasty retreat, leaving Subaru sitting in disappointment on the tatami floor. After several awkward departures under such similar circumstances, Subaru finally spoke up. "It is the eye, isn't it?" Subaru noted. Kamui kept silent, but there was little doubt in the Sumeragi's mind. "It bothers you," he added. The disappointment on his face was clear. "I thought you understood. I am as much a part of it as it is a part of me." The boy tried to apologise for his insensitivity. And yet, by having his hesitancy spoken out, a new wall has now sprung up between him and the onmyouji. Kamui could not bring himself to face Subaru again. * The place looked exactly as Kamui remembered it. The stone steps leading from the torii towards the front porch of the shrine where a large Sakura tree stood. A wistful smile passed his lips as he remembered how he used to play catch with the Monou siblings around it. Once, when Kotori was supposed to look for them, Fuuma and he tried to hide up in the tree, but Kotori still managed to spot them somehow. It was as if the birds in the tree spoke to her and led her to their hiding place. It was a time of laughter and pleasant memories. Now, the place was silent, almost deserted, except for... "You finally came." Kamui looked towards the door of the house. "Fuuma..." he whispered. His old friend smiled warmly and indicated that he should come into the house. Kamui accepted the invitation and sat down on an almost familiar sofa while Fuuma seated himself across the table from him. Tea and cakes appeared on the table. The boy stared at the items, but made no move to eat. Fuuma did not seem perturbed. He took a sip from his own cup and then said, "I was wondering when you'll come look for me." Kamui remained motionless except for a slight quivering at his lips. Fuuma spoke again, "You came for my advice." The boy nodded. "My advice is - be honest." Kamui looked up and stared at his friend. "I don't understand." Wordlessly, Fuuma stood up, walked towards Kamui, and sat down beside him. He gazed intently into the boy's eyes and said, "Do you think Subaru is aware of me?" "I-I don't know. I don't think so," came the reply. "What do you think he would do if he knew about me?" Fuuma asked. Kamui pondered in silence for a moment and then shook his head. "Everyone has a past that is difficult to leave behind. However, we should never let it prevent us from living in the future. Subaru may wear the eye, but he has chosen to share his future with you. Or have you not realised that yet?" With a playful grin, Fuuma leaned closer and added, "Anyway, don't you think it is a little unfair for you to begrudge Subaru about the Sakurazukamori when you haven't told him about me?" Kamui blushed a little, embarrassed by those words, and threw his arms around Fuuma's broad shoulders. "Thanks, Fuuma," he said. Tightening his embrace, he added, "You won't ever leave me, will you?" "Not as long as you need me," Fuuma replied. * The evening sky had turned dark by the time Kamui got to Subaru's place. It had been a long and tedious day at school, and it almost seemed as if time was intentionally proceeding more slowly than usual. When the final bell for the day rang at last, Kamui was the first to rush out of campus. Now, he hesitated briefly in front of the gate before finally gathering enough courage to enter the house. Neither the gate nor the main door was physically locked, but Kamui could feel the gentle tingle of onmyoujutsu magic used to keep trespassers out while allowing him through. Nobody was in the living room, but the boy could sense a presence in the main bedroom. He pushed the paper screen door aside and saw Subaru sitting on the tatami floor with a futon mattress rolled out beside him. The Sumeragi was admiring a small rabbit plush toy in his hands. "Nekoi-san gave this to me soon after I lost my eye," Subaru said. "She told me that no one could live alone. But she was wrong. It only takes a little getting used to, and I've been used to it for over nine years." "No!" Kamui said and ran over to Subaru, kneeling before him. He grabbed hold of the onmyouji's hands and said, "No one ever gets used to the loneliness. We always seek some form of distraction or comfort, be it a wish or a thirst for vengeance. But I am willing to stay by your side from now on, if you're willing to forgive me. I have not been honest with you." Subaru pulled his hands away from Kamui's grip and replaced the toy rabbit to its place on a nearby alcove. The his right hand reached up and hovered gently over the eye, and he said, "This eye will always be a part of me. Even if I were to pluck it out, it will remain there in spirit. But if it makes you feel better..." Kamui quickly grabbed hold of Subaru's hand. "No!" he said, "Please, don't. You look...beautiful with it." The boy blushed mildly as he spoke those words. Still he forced himself to gaze earnestly into Subaru's eyes. The onmyouji looked surprised. It was the first time he had heard Kamui call him beautiful, and certainly it was a first for Kamui to look him straight in the eye without flinching too. "Subaru, there is something that I have been hiding from you, something from my past that I can't let go of either," Kamui said, lowering his head a little. "If it's about Fuuma then I'm already aware of it," Subaru replied. His voice was measured and calm, betraying no emotion. "How did you know?" It was Kamui's turn to look surprised. Subaru explained with a gentle smile, "You can't possibly hide such a thing from the most powerful onmyouji in Japan, can you? After the final battle, I sensed the transformation. Do you communicate with him often?" "No," Kamui said, "Yesterday was the first. I was very troubled, and Fuuma had promised to be there whenever I need him." Then he looked up to Subaru again. "It doesn't bother you at all?" Subaru shook his head. "No, not at all." He released his hand from Kamui's grip and caressed the boy's face lovingly. "You are very beautiful too, Kamui." Kamui turned a deep crimson, which made his clear violent eyes sparkle more brightly, thereby eliciting more appreciative looks from Subaru. He wanted to look away but Subaru's hand held his chin firmly. His mind was still in a confused swirl when he suddenly felt Subaru's lips pressed firmly against his. His mind wanted to struggle against the unfamiliar act. However, his body was responding with a delicious tingle that sent him shivering and holding on to the Sumeragi for support. The Sumeragi must have taken that as encouragement for Kamui could feel Subaru's tongue teasing his lips apart and exploring every inch of his mouth. Kamui decided to do the same, but in his earnestness he missed his balance and sent the both of them tumbling onto the futon bed. They chuckled softly in between takes of air. The temperature of the room seemed to have become considerably warmer. Kamui slid his body closer towards Subaru, but the onmyouji held him back. "Kamui, we don't have to rush it. I can wait," he said. Kamui smiled, radiating with pure happiness for the first time. "No," he said, "I'm done with waiting." He reached over and kissed Subaru gently over his right eye. "Even if the Sakurazukamori is watching us now, I don't care. I hope he gets jealous," he declared with a mischievous smile. Something broke through the Sumeragi's heart. A torrent of emotions - faith, trust, hope, the willingness to embrace life - everything that he had kept locked inside his innermost psyche for a good decade of his life came pouring through and manifested themselves into a great desire for Kamui. Restraining his urge for speed, he divested Kamui of his clothes, kissing the exposed skin with the removal of each button and eliciting a variety of helpless moans from the boy beneath him. Nothing escaped his attention and he took careful notes of Kamui's every pleasure point, returning to them again whenever he sensed that Kamui was losing pace. With the shirt removed, Subaru focused his attention on Kamui's lower body. He cupped Kamui's hardness through the fabric of the trousers, forcing the boy to thrust uncontrollably against his hand. The boy was already moaning softly at the new sensations that were assaulting all his pleasure senses at the same time. Subaru kissed the boy again while his fingers moved to unzip the trousers. Then he sat up, and pulled the trousers, together with the boy's underpants, out in one fluid action. Subaru paused to soak in the sight of Kamui's naked body stretched out sensually across the mattress like a lithe cat, and the arousal that was staring angrily for release. Kamui blushed at the attention and tried to distract himself by reaching up and fiddling clumsily with the buttons on Subaru's shirt. Subaru smiled. He loved the boy. It was a feeling as different from his love for Seishirou-san as day is from night, but it was love nonetheless. No doubt, they would have their arguments and occasional misunderstandings, but there would be no deception and no intention to hurt. No grand operatic tragedy that would appeal to his sister. If Hokuto were still alive, she would probably find their relationship a bore. Subaru did not mind at all. He often thought of himself as an ordinary person, and a simple relationship appealed strongly to him, even if it was with a person of the same sex and nine years his junior. Kamui had finally succeeded in his struggle with the shirt and was nervously moving down to Subaru's pants. With a soft chuckle, Subaru pulled Kamui's hands aside. Instead, he brushed teasingly against Kamui's arousal, causing the latter to suddenly cry out in pleasure. Delighted by his partner's response, Subaru lowered his mouth over the sensitive member, sheathing it completely. Then, he toyed with it using his tongue while making gradual sucking motion. Kamui fell against the mattress again, his hips buckling into Subaru's mouth, as he tried to stifle his cries with the aid of his right hand and the corner of a loose blanket. The sensation was unlike anything he could imagine and overrode all conscious thought. He felt helpless and he felt wonderful. Forcing his eyes to open, he looked down and saw the ecstatic flush on Subaru's face. If he could make Subaru this happy, he wished that the moment would go on forever, even if his body was begging desperately for release. However, he was young and inexperienced. It did not take long before he felt the pressure, and cried out in rapture. His body struggled to find equilibrium even when it was over and he had to take deep breaths to calm himself. However, he felt Subaru's mouth upon his again, allowing him a taste of his own seed. Then, with encouragement from Subaru's hand, he reached inside Subaru's trousers and felt the response from Subaru's desire. He gave the flesh a mild squeeze, causing Subaru to moan, and it delighted him to see his lover's respond to his touch. Then cold breeze brushed against his hand. Opening his eyes, he saw that the Sumeragi was as naked as he was, and no less hungry. Recalling what Subaru had done for him, Kamui tried to sit up in order to reach for Subaru, but the onmyouji pushed him back onto the mattress. Subaru kissed him hungrily on the lips again, and then said, "There is something else I want to give to you, but you must not be afraid." Kamui shook his head. "No, I won't be afraid. I love you." Subaru kissed him again, a little more deeply this time as if he was unwilling to part with the boy even for a single moment. Then he quickly stood up and moved across the room to where a low chest of drawers stood, and took out a jar from the top drawer. Just as quickly, he returned to where Kamui lay and removed the cap of the jar. It had a mild but not unpleasant fragrance, and Kamui wondered what it might be. Subaru spooned a dollop of creamy ointment from the jar and onto his left palm, and then placed the jar beside the mattress. With a reassuring smile, he told Kamui, "This might hurt a bit, but do you trust me?" Kamui still had no idea what Subaru intended. Nevertheless, he was very sure that Subaru would never willingly hurt him. He put on a brave smile and nodded. Subaru leaned down and ran his tongue playfully over Kamui's firm abdomen, causing the boy to respond with a soft moan. Then, with the help of his knees, Subaru prised Kamui's legs apart, raising them slightly into position. His dabbed his right index finger with the ointment, and then very carefully, he reached under Kamui, fingering the boy just behind the scrotum until he found the spot he was looking for. He heard the boy yelped in surprise, and quickly reassured him with another kiss before returning to his task. He layered the ointment in smooth strokes, reapplying more lubrication into the hole, pushing through the ring of muscle until all the ointment on his palm was used up and three of his fingers could slip in with minimal resistance. Subaru removed his fingers and bent down to kiss Kamui once more. His body ached to bury itself deeply into the boy, but he knew that he had to be gentle with him. If Kamui did not want this, he would acquiesce at the expense of his own need. There would be no recriminations. He loved Kamui, and the boy's welfare would come first. "I shall stop if you wish," he told Kamui. "No," Kamui said, finally having an idea of what Subaru was about to do. Though a little hesitant and afraid, he told Subaru, "I am willing. I want to do this with you." Subaru smiled again, radiating with love and lust for the boy. The he hooked an arm under Kamui's left knee, and lifted the boy's hips into position. Subaru layered more of the ointment onto his own urgent member, and began pushing slowly into Kamui, careful not to hurt him anymore than was necessary. Kamui wanted to scream. He wanted to push back at the intrusion. He felt like he was being split apart, and it was hurting even with the lubricant. But he loved Subaru and he wanted to be joined with the man. He took deep breaths to relax himself, and gradually felt the pain subside a little to be replaced by a growing pleasure. Suddenly, Subaru pushed completely into him in one swift motion. Kamui lost all reason and cried aloud both in ecstasy and pain. This was followed by a much-needed pause as Subaru waited for Kamui to regain hold of himself. Kamui took another deep breath and nodded for Subaru to continue. Subaru began to move in and out of Kamui in controlled rhythms. Kamui felt the initial pain dissipating in rising tides of desire, and feeling more aroused with each thrust from his lover. He canted his hips in tandem, allowing Subaru to enter more deeply and forcefully. Their pace quickened with their heartbeats. And though Subaru's sweat was dripping onto him, merging with his to form rivulets that soaked through the mattress, they refused to stop. Their voices of pleasure grew louder, hungrier. Shutting his eyes, Kamui sensed his losing control, and he called out to Subaru, "I...love...you..." Then he felt the spasm, grateful for the release, and then at almost the same time, warm fluid poured into him as well. A kiss on his forehead forced him to open his eyes and look at his lover. Subaru knitted his brows as he embraced the boy tightly, afraid that Kamui would pull away from him at his greatest moment of need. Kamui understood and returned his kiss with one on his lips. Thus spent, the two lovers fell back onto the damp mattress, and welcomed sleep. * "You are happy now," Fuuma noted with an amused smile. He was seated on the steps of the house facing the porch of the Togakushi Shrine. Kamui blushed. "You saw everything?" "There is nothing that happens to you that I do not see," came his reply. Kamui did not look surprised. Fuuma gazed around the place and then sighed. "This place no longer exists. It is time for me to go too." "But you promised to stay!" Kamui pouted. The older teenager shook his head with a loving smile. "I remained to protect you, Kamui. But now, you do not need me anymore. My task is done." "But..." Fuuma appeared before Kamui and held the boy in his arms. "I have great faith in Subaru to take care of you. The two of you will find happiness together." Kamui leaned against his friend. "I'll miss you," he said. "I'll miss you too," Fuuma said, "But I miss Kotori also, and now I'm going to be with her." Kamui looked up with eyes shimmering of tears. "Please tell her that I love her and that I'm sorry for all the pain that I've caused." Fuuma pulled away from Kamui, his form losing substance gradually. "You don't have to apologise for anything, Kamui. I'll always be grateful that you had enough faith in me to save me from the darkness." The surroundings began to blur and dissipate as well, and just before everything disappeared, Fuuma's voice reverberated into the emptiness, "Farewell, my friend." "Farewell, Fuuma," Kamui whispered. He stood alone in the emptiness, the corner of his soul where the spirit of his best friend, Fuuma, had inhabited after the final battle had destroyed the physical body that had been taken over by the Dark Kamui. Kamui wept for the loss of his friend, and yet unlike those losses in the past that had devastated him, he felt at peace. Soon, he would wake up to the sight of his future, Subaru. And reflected in Subaru's eyes, Kamui would see his own image. The past was over. ----- Dreams of Sakura Home -- http://www.geocities.com/dreams_of_sakura X Shrine -- http://www.geocities.com/asuka_sg</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>