http://clampfix.fanworks.net/ss-fix/disillusion.txt </head><body><pre>Well, this is my first fanfic to be written for public consumption. It's short and...sweet? I don't think Subaru has been in a sweet mood around the Sakurazukamori for a *very* long time.... Anyway, here's an idea that popped into my head that I thought should be written out. CLAMP characters deserve all the fanservice we can give 'em! ~~drool...bishounen...~~ As always, flames and amusing criticism is appreciated. This is probably the first time I haven't written a parody! Hmm. Well, enjoy! DISCLAIMER: Subaru and Seishirou belong to the wonderous CLAMP and I wouldn't do a thing to change that. Don't sue me, I'm just a poor fangirl. Unless you sue me for my manga & anime, but you don't want to know what desperate measures a fangirl will resort to. ^_^;; DISILLUSIONMENT Written by: Eva Baker The sky was a slate grey, pure and unchanging. It was the wall, the atmosphere, the world within the kekkai, and this particular kekkai was in the shape of a perfect star. There was only one Seal, one Dragon of Heaven, who could make such a kekkai, and his short black hair whipped violently in the wind. Blue and red chi rose, rose, swirling madly in the area the kekkai had created. Everything was controlled, despite its appearance of chaotic disarray, because the two were masters of their art and had come to play out the game of the fated day. Subaru braced himself, his white teeth showing slightly through a firm mouth like a predatory animal. Seishirou smiled, the same smile, always. "This is the 'Saigo no Tatakai,' Subaru-kun," his voice was strong and carried across the winds to the young man's ears. Subaru made no change in position. He made no facial expression to acknowledge his nemesis. "We have both known, from that day, what the outcome would be when we finally faced each other. Our destiny has never changed. I know your wish, and you know what sort of man I am." Subaru looked at the Sakurazukamori with a determined glare. He thought he had known, once, what sort of man Seishirou-san was. The attractive older man in his well-tailored suits, with his soft but strong hands and affirmative voice that carried like a spell, who he had known when he was younger and was so much more naive. Seishirou-san was the 'kindly vet.' The suitor. The man who killed his sister and had now come to face him in the end of the world. Yes, he knew what kind of man Seishirou-san was now, though there was no getting away from the fact that he had been confused before. After all, Subaru Sumeragi had been hurt, deeply, in a way that would kill most people. And in a way, it did kill him. But that wasn't his fault. And now the Sakurazukamori would pay for what he did to an innocent boy that day under the sakura tree, surrounded by the perfume of pink sakura and the sweet, sweet smell of death. "Let's finish this," Subaru breathed, barely a whisper of inhalation, a command to himself. Yet he had no doubt that Seishirou had heard him. The corner of the man's lips twitched upwards into a smirk. It was time. In that flash of a second, the superiority of the elder hit Subaru full force. It wasn't that his barrier was too weak, but that same problem that had cost him his eye. A little /too/ slow. He had planned to anticipate the attack, to let the initial strength of the barrier reflect and give him a second to gather his energies and counter strike. Unfortunately, Subaru winced, his timing was off today, which could have been contributed to lack of sleep, the past malnutrition of his body, or fate. Blown back several feet and knocked to his knees, Subaru struggled to rise, tattered bits of his trench coat trailing out behind him. His hand fell over his blind eye and the fresh, white bandage he had placed on it earlier that day. Looking at the surface of the eye in the mirror he had realized... Seishirou kicked him. Not hard. He was playing with him, attacking from his 'blind spot' with just enough force to knock him down and wind him slightly. Subaru realized how weak his body had become. But it was too late to do anything about that now. Had it been foolish to think he could win? He thought it had been an omen. And it was the only card he had to play in this game of strength and wits. Seishirou loomed over his fallen, thin body, the black specter of Death in sunglasses. "You've been fun to play with, Subaru-kun. But I must admit you're proving to be a bit of a disappointment." He titled his head with childish curiosity and looked at Subaru's face. The delicate facial structure, masculine and feminine at the same time, the pale white skin stretched over it and that one green eye glaring back with indifference. "That bandage really does mar your beauty. Would you mind if I removed it?" As his hand drew closer Subaru retracted like an injured animal. "Oh come now," Seishirou teased, "I promise I won't bite." As the hand drew closer, Subaru did not move. <I will allow him this> He closed his eyes tightly against the feeling of the killer's fingertips gently brushing his skin. <...because soon he will have nothing.> Enjoying the pre-emptive victory, Seishirou allowed his fingers to dance over the onmyouji's virgin flesh. Not an excessive caress, just what was merited in taking off the bandage. He didn't like that cloth on his Subaru's face. When he killed him, he wanted to be able to see Subaru's 'wish.' He ran the white cotton strip between his fingers as it unraveled, watching the expression of Subaru's beautiful face that would once again be complete. As far as Seishirou was concerned, that cloth had been on for far too long. Long lashes were drawn shut over the eyes that had yet to open. When they did, it would be like a gift. Subaru's breathing was irregular. "I do not know the exact wording of your 'wish' Subaru-kun," Seishirou paused in thought, "But was it something like 'To mirror Seishirou-san, to defeat Seishirou-san,'? You've always wanted to avenge Hokuto's death..." He drew near, and his breath was warm and thick on Subaru's cold skin, "Isn't that right?" Subaru opened his eyes. One was the same brilliant green of his youth. The other... Matched it perfectly. The look on utter bewilderment of Seishirou's face was priceless as he stumbled backwards and gained distance on the Sumeragi. Those two eyes were clear and frightening. This was Subaru's 'wish'? Running his hand over his eye, through his black hair, and unwinding the last fragment of the bandage from his visage, Subaru stood to his full height. "You haven't made me smile in a very long time, Seishirou-san," Subaru's lips curled slightly into an expression that was almost foreign to him. He could see it in Seishirou's eyes -- one milky, one brown - that the hunter was appraising the situation. One, that Subaru had the advantage of both eyes where as he only had one. Two, that 'Kamui' would have some explaining to do as to Subaru's 'wish' and his inability to render people blind -- if he survived the end of the world. Three... what did this mean? If Subaru's wish was not to become like Seishirou to defeat Seishirou, the Sakurazukamori lost half of his advantage. Innocent and pure Subaru, and he was still innocent and pure to Seishirou's standards, would be out of his element when trying to beat a master assassin at his own game. As it was, the wiry onmyouji was a wild card. "I was as surprised as you," Subaru's voice was low and calm, his two cat eyes locked onto Seishirou's face, "...when I saw this..." he pointed to his left eye. "I thought that it was my wish to lose my eye. I thought it was something like what you said, Seishirou-san. But we were both wrong." "Subaru-kun," Seishirou laughed good-naturedly, his hands in the pockets of his jacket as it whirled around him. Subaru threw his hand out. "No. Shut up. Since that day...the day Hokuto died...I haven't been able to tell what was in my heart. You did that to me," he gave the handsome man a condemning stare, then withdrew his gaze and let it wander off. Somewhere. Anywhere but here. His eyes grew hard, narrowed in thought, heightened in determination to push out the words that had been crammed into his chest for too long. But he had always been a quiet, shy boy and even now, as a man, it was hard for him. "I thought that I was blinded by hatred. Blinded by sadness. I thought that...that I might be in love with you." Seishirou's eyes widened. "But that was all a lie. Even after all you've done, I can say I don't feel either hatred or love or any other emotion towards you. Years have gone by. And, like I said,'Let's finish this.'" "You will kill me," Seishirou replied, his expression blank and accepting. "No. I forgive you, Seishirou-san," Subaru watched Seishirou closely. The killer raised a gloved hand to his face, his eyebrows furrowed in thought. "You don't want to believe me, because it was /your/ wish to have someone take after you. Not only is it the ultimate compliment for a man like you, but if I succeeded, and killed you, you would have the next successor to continue the feeding of your forsaken sakura tree." His mouth a hardened line, he spat out the words, "I won't! I won't become like you!!" The emotion crackled like dry leaves in his gentle voice. "And the fact that my eye has healed proves that. It is not my 'destiny.' You won't ruin my life." Seishirou let out a disbelieving laugh that, in all its volume and fullness, was frail and wavering. "You're just going to walk away? Subaru-kun, you're just too cute. 'I forgive you...'? I- I don't need your forgiveness. Nor did I ask for it. Your forgiveness is nothing." "I know," Subaru let out a long sigh. His eyes were sad. "I know, because you are not the Sakurazuka Seishirou of my childhood, but the Sakurazukamori. I know /you/ Seishirou-san." Reaching into his pocket he took out the prayer papers. "I'll fight you. And I'll win. But not because of what has happened. Not because of emotions that have been forgotten. Because you are a murderer, cold and unfeeling, a plague to the earth and to the Sumeragi Clan, and it is my duty as a Dragon of Heaven to create a kekkai and destroy the opposing Dragon of Earth in the end of the world." "Thinking that you'll win is an illusion, Subaru-kun," Seishirou argued evenly. His feet, wearing an attractive pair of dress shoes, shuffled to the side as Subaru clasped a ofuda between two fingers in front of himself. "You're wrong, Seishirou-san," Subaru replied, watching and feeling as all of the elements came into place to fulfill the promise of his destiny. "This is the final disillusionment." ~Owari~ __________________________ So, how was that? I'm hoping there are no holes in it anywhere that are blatantly obvious to a more expert otaku. ^_^;; Maybe if all goes well I'll do a CCD fic next, because they need more fanservice and because I adore the boys. If I ever get my hands on X:The animated series, I'll die with happiness if the Tanteidan is in it. :9 Oh, and I'd like to thank my fanfic inspiration Natalie Baan for writing such great fics and emails. You're my mentor (of sorts) N-chan!I hope that doesn't scare you. O_o Until next time, this is Eva a.k.a. Mako signing off. Ja!</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>