Memories
of Love
Subaru stood, feeling the wind brush his
face, chilling him to the bone, but ignored the chill. He let his face
lift up to look at the gray, uncomprehending sky, and took a deep
breath. Vaguely, he thought, where am I?
I am on top
of a building.
Why?
I am going to jump.
"Subaru!!" Hokuto said, catching him at the
door. "Where are you going?"
Subaru hesitated for a
moment, but he smiled, anyway. "To school, of
course."
"Why?" Hokuto said, her mouth full of
cookies. "You can take another day off." Dressed again in
another one of her wild outfits, this time it was as a cookie, it
seemed. Her skirt ballooned out into a puffy chocolate-chip cookie
design and her bodice was covered in tiny black puffs--looking exactly
like chocolate chips. Ostensibly, she wore an apron over it, as she was
baking cookies.
"Hokuto-chan!" Subaru said, shocked.
"I'm supposed to go to school!"
Hokuto gave him a
smile. "Subaru, you've been missing school so much that the teacher
won't notice if you miss another day," she giggled. "Anyway,
Sei-chan is coming over to make cookies." She wiggled her finger at
him. "And I know you don't want to miss seeing
Sei-chan!"
Subaru blushed. "H-hokuto-chan..." he
stammered. "W-what makes y-y-you t-think t-t-t-that?"
"Oh, you're blushing," Hokuto said gleefully. Almost
to herself, she said, "Told you!"
Subaru was
confused. "Told m-me what?" he said, stammering a little,
still red from before.
"Oh, trying to change the
subject?" Hokuto said slyly, waving her spatula. "I'm
sure you much rather hear more about Sei-chan,
ne?"
"H-Hokuto-chan!"
"What are
you guys talking about?" Seishirou asked curiously as he opened the
door into the apartment. "I could hear your voices all the way down
the hallway."
"Seishirou-san!!" Subaru
exclaimed, turning a furious
red.
"O-hohohohohohohoho!" Hokuto
laughed.
Why am I thinking about that? Subaru thought
curiously, but with a flat tone to it. Why am I so fixated? He
took a cigarette, and lit it. Putting it to his lips, he took a smoke,
his shoulders straightening slightly as he felt the great weight on his
chest lessen.
What a moron I am.
Looking down,
he regarded the long way between him and the ground. While jumping from
this height would bring absolutely spectacular results, it wasn't how he
looked at the end that counted; it was the fact that he was
dead.
Involuntarily, he rubbed his arm onto his side,
feeling the scar that marred his forearm from wrist to elbow. A similar
one graced his other wrist.
Shouldn't have tried to do this
when Grandmother was still around, he thought, almost clinically.
I should have done it when I was far away, when no one would be
around.
Then again, when I tried to drown myself, I thought
that there was no one was around...
He finished his
cigarette, dropping it and stepping onto it, feeling empty. Turning
around, he could see the remains of Nakano Plaza in the distance, the
empty shell of a building. Already, signs of destruction were
everywhere, the city preparing for the final fight.
The End
of the World? Does anyone really care about that? I stopped caring, a
long time ago...if I even cared in the first place...would I have cared
if Hokuto-chan was--
He looked away, his heart wrenching
suddenly. I...I wish...
He rubbed his dry eyes, and left
the rooftop of the building, toward Nakano.
Seishirou
surveyed the remains of Nakano Plaza from the top of another building,
through sunglasses that darkened everything in sight. He wasn't
sure why he was here again, but he had a feeling Subaru-kun would be
here.
Subaru-kun, Seishirou thought, almost
affectionately. You really are cute when you're
mad...
He waited, expectantly, for Subaru to
come.
After all, I did promise your sister I would tell
you...
Subaru landed lightly on the rooftop to the
building next to Nakano, feeling the tension in his arms and legs.
He was about to leap again, when he saw--
--he
saw--
"Sei-chan!" Hokuto exclaimed. "Stop
being so mean!" They were inside a car, with Hokuto and Seishirou
in the front, and Subaru sitting in the back.
Seishirou looked
mildly surprised. "When was I mean?" he asked, sparing her a
glance while driving.
"I mean, when are you going to marry
Subaru!?" Hokuto said cheerfully. "You can't keep him waiting
like this! I would almost think you wanted to leave him
hanging!"
"H-HOKUTO!!!!!!" Subaru exclaimed,
turning a furious red. "S-stop
that!"
"Well," Seishirou said, drawing it out
for all it was worth, "I am sorry, my dear Hokuto-chan, but--"
he sniffed sadly, "--I don't have money for the diamond
ring..."
"Se-se-se-SEISHIROU-SAN!!!!!!!!"
Subaru had been embarrassed beyond all redemption; but Seishirou merely
glanced at the mirror, giving him a gentle smile.
"Oh,
Sei-chan, I knew you cared!" Hokuto exclaimed, leaping to hug
Seishirou, causing the car to drive erratically down the road, nearly
hitting a cat--who probably lost one of its lives in utter shock at
seeing a car bearing down on it at full speed--and scaring the hell out
of Subaru.
"Subaru-kun," Seishirou greeted
him, almost kindly, like the Seishirou he remembered--
Stop
thinking about that!!
"--I knew you'd be here,"
Seishirou finished.
Subaru regarded Seishirou, trying not to
flinch, trying not to remember--
--please, no more
memories--
"Why are you here?" Subaru said
flatly.
"Why, Subaru-kun, aren't you happy to see
me?" Seishirou looked hurt. "Or are you still fixated on
that?"
Anger swept over Subaru; how dare Seishirou
think that the incident was nothing, that it wasn't important, when
Subaru's life had been shredded to something that couldn't be called a
life anymore--he took a step forward--
Seishirou stepped
forward as well, catching and overpowering Subaru, holding him almost as
if in an embrace--
Subaru tensed when Seishirou bent down, from
behind, to whisper in Subaru's ear, "You really are very
cute..."
Subaru twisted and struggled in Seishirou's
grasp, hating him--
I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, hate
hate hate hate--
--hating himself as he felt desire, a
spark of want, a hunger to have Seishirou near him--
--why,
why? Why am I doing this to myself?--
--I hate
myself--
"Stop struggling," Seishirou whispered.
"Really. As if I would kill you now--" Subaru could feel
Seishirou smile--
--Oh, Hokuto-chan, I hate
him!!--
"--which, of course, is simply absurd. After
all, I do keep my word." Seishirou's arms tightened,
suddenly, until Subaru couldn't breathe, could only gasp for
air--
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