http://clampfix.fanworks.net/ss-fix/glasscup.txt </head><body><pre>Title: Breaking a Glass Cup Series: X (Subaru + Seishirou) Category: Serious Spoilers: for book 8 and possible hints for later events. Don't read the summary (what's next) if you don't wanna know what Subaru's wish is. Summary: Why would Subaru wish for Seishirou to kill him? My fic-ish explanation. If you have a better one, skip the fic and answer the question at the bottom, 'cause I'd be really interested in knowing. *hangs head* s'ry I've been lurking. . . 0.o Sakiko writing ANGST?!!! What is the world coming to? This is my first relatively serious and non filk fanfic, so C+C is very, VERY welcome. Inuyasha: Keh, baka should stick to humor. . . "Yakamashi! Osuwari!" *runs away crying* Just for the record, the barrier I mention in this fic is the second one Subaru created around Seishirou with the ofuda, not the actual big kekkai. One of my friends got confused about that. **** Breaking a Glass Cup By Sakiko Mitsukawa ::Where the sea meets the moon-blanch'd land, ::Listen! you hear the grating roar ::Of pebbles which the waves draw back, and fling, ::At their return, up the high strand, ::Begin, and cease, and then again begin, ::With tremulous cadence slow, and bring ::The eternal note of sadness in. ::Sophocles long ago ::Heard it on the Aegean, and it brought ::Into his mind the turbid ebb and flow ::Of human misery; we ::Find also in the sound a thought, ::Hearing it by this distant northern sea. Disclaimer: Subaru and Seishirou-san are property of CLAMP (Damn). Dover Beach was written by Matthew Arnold, this fic contains excerpts from that poem. (All of the lines with '::' by them). ::The Sea of Faith ::Was once, too, at the full, and round earth's shore ::Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furl'd. Ash drifed from the sky like snow, settling on the still-smoking ruins of the Nakano Sun Plaza. From the cracked edifice of a nearby apartment building, Subaru watched as the Sakurazukamori calmly searched his pockets for a cigarette. /Seishirou-san/ /After nearly a decade of searching. . ./ The Sakurazukamori looked up in surprise at the man who landed before him, who could catch him unawares. The man turned, he found himself looking into those familiar eyes, ones he had seen brimming with happiness and tears of betrayal; eyes the color of smoky emeralds. He pulled off his sunglasses, and smiled. "Subaru-kun." Subaru's heart lurched at that smile. /Just as you used to be, Seishirou-san./ /A kind man who helped a boy and his sister. . ./ /And made that boy love you. . ./ ::But now I only hear ::Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar, He studied Seishirou's face, unlined despite nine years time. The strange glassy whiteness of the Sakurazukamori's eye gazed back at him, like a mirror to the soul. /And that one imperfection. . .My fault. . ./ Seishirou smiled; it was no longer the smile of the kind veterinarian, but of the hunter. /You are different now Seishirou-san, the day you lost your eye everything changed./ Subaru readied his spell. /I'll help you Seishirou-san, I'll change you, it's my wish. . ./ /For you I've studied all this time, and created this. . ./ ::Retreating, to the breath ::Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear ::And naked shingles of the world. Subaru summoned his power and pulled the force of the star-shaped barrier down around Seishirou. "Is your wish. . .to kill me?" /I could never do that Seishirou-san./ With a final push of will, Subaru twisted together the delicate threads of his spell interwoven with the barrier. ::Ah, love, let us be true ::To one another! It was as if time slowed down. For just a few moments, Subaru could feel every piece of his spell, every strand of power. Delicate, invisible threads unwound themselves, reaching towards the star's center, and the soul of the man within. With gentle butterfly touches, they twined around the sharp edges of the Sakurazukamori's spirit . . . And for a few precious seconds, Subaru could sense Seishirou's soul. Bright red and burgundy, shining patches of gold and streaks of darkness; a glittering orb that reflected the soul of every person he had killed. It was like a soap bubble, a beautiful, delicate thing which contained nothing. Subaru gathered his power. . . /I could change you, Seishirou-san. . ./ He tested the strength of his spell; with a single slight pull, he could rip out every streak of darkness in that heart, destroy and then remold that essence, purify it; he could remake the Sakurazukamori into the Sakurazuka again. . . /I could break you as easily as a glass cup. . ./ /And you would be as I remembered you. . ./ ::for the world, which seems ::To lie before us like a land of dreams, ::So various, so beautiful, so new, Seishirou smiling cheerfully at him over the stove; walking with him through the park; eating together outside, under the trees. . . /No./ ::Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light, ::Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain; /You would not be MY Seishirou/ He looked at the man frozen within his spell. In his mind's eye, he saw through the glittering surface of the Sakurazukamori's spirit; he ran along the strands of darkness and felt himself splinting, following each delicate thread as it grew more and more narrow; what he had mistaken for the ragged edges of dark were really the thinning strands stretching out into infinity; a vast conglomeration of shining fibers; an intrinsic part of the deep scarlets and crimsons and golds. The darkness formed a delicate latticework beneath the brightly-hued exterior; destroying it would shatter the carefully built spindles of his soul. /Because this is as much a part of you as your eye is./ /I can't kill you./ /I can't change you./ /Seishirou./ /I know you can't care for me. . ./ He grasped the knotted ends of his spell to him and unraveled them. They fell in tatters, dissipating into the night, leaving only the ghost of the barrier he had set up. /. . .but I still care for you./ /If your wish is to kill me. . ./ Seishirou casually swept one hand through the barrier, brushing aside the glittering remains of Subaru's spell. /then my wish will not be for your death –/ He fell to the pavement, gasping, feeling every rip and tear as his enchantment was destroyed. His blood spattered on the ground, and he groaned in pain as cool gentle fingers touched his cheek, and he looked up into the eyes of the killer. /-it will be for mine./ ::And we are here as on a darkling plain ::Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight, ::Where ignorant armies clash by night. "Dewa. . .mata . . ." **** Notes: - In Seishirou's drama, he made a comment about "breaking a glass cup", I thought it would be interesting to turn this around on him. - I know I don't know how to use semi-colons. But I like them. So there. Question: - One day when I was explaining X to my mom she asked why Subaru would have wanted Seishirou to kill him. And I suddenly realized I had absolutely no idea. This was my explanation for why Subaru would have wanted Seishirou to kill him, but I don't think it's a very good one. I would love to hear a really, really good, sensible, psychologically logical explanation for why Subaru would have wanted such a thing, because quite frankly, I'm still trying to figure it out.</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>