hi hi!
just had to get this out of my system! ><
But quick question for those reading Deep Inside of
You: Do you think I should include Tohru, Kotori,
Keiichi, Saiki, or the like in this series? If you
say so, I'll add it in.
Thanks!
Oh, and one more thing, warning to those who are not
really into Sei-chan's and his mom's relationship, you
may not want to read this. ^^;;; Nothing explicit,
but still...
yui
--
Disclaimer: X belongs to Clamp.
Like a goddess that looked as graceful as someone who
walked silently on their tippy-toes, there was a
gentleness that only she would give to the room. The
scent of a freshly killed human would permeate the air
as if it were sugar instead.
And her right hand dripped of blood on the frozen ice
she was standing on. As if immune to any type of pain
or pleasure, she tilted her head and smiled at me
though her feet were stuck to the ground around her.
Ice should make you very cold.
She was colder.
Her eyes would lift themselves in reverance to the
sakura trees around the backyard as if it were spring.
As if it was the most normal thing to look at cherry
blossom petals in the dead of winter.
But what can you do to people who are numb from their
very core?
Many would say she was their beautiful killer with
just looking at her eyes. Others would say she had
killed them with a smile. Still others would say she
was a psychopath with a seductive and enigmatic air
around her...
I called her mother.
Akai Tennyo (Crimson Goddess)
by Yui Miyamoto
"Seishirou?" her bell-like voice beckoned me with that
girl-like innocence. Blinking, she shook her head
coyly. "Seishirou, you're not coming to me?"
I walked across the living room to get to the entrance
of the backyard where she was standing. I felt fear
no longer when I saw her. It was such a natural
occurrence to see that living red stain dripping from
her hands. So much so that I would be disturbed if it
were _not_ there.
As I stood in front of her, she buried her face on my
chest and took in my scent upon the high school
uniform.
I embraced her kimono trying to warm the petit
shoulders in front of me. Kissing her on top of the
head, I said, "Tadaima."
Even though I should have greeted her as any other
woman, the only difference it made to me was that this
one was called Mother. And 'Mother' I would call her
though it held no significance to me whatsoever. I
was told to meet her years ago even if I didn't care
who my parents were or what they did.
I never questioned anything. I didn't care about
anything. How can you possibly want something that
isn't there in the first place?
And so, when this woman called 'Mother' lived with me,
inside, she was the one named Setsuka. I lived with a
woman with the same last name as my own.
That's all. There was nothing strange in this.
She could have been my sister for all I cared. I just
really held a fondness for this killer wrapping her
arms around me and drowning me with her blood.
Whether it was dropping from her hands or coolly
flowing through my veins, it really made no difference
to me.
"What did you do today?" she asked as she looked up to
me and blinked her eyes again as if they were shining.
"School. I ate the wonderful lunch you gave me, got
another love letter, and passed another annoying
test." I laughed with a bit of bitterness. Sometimes
I wished time would go as fast or as slow as I wanted
it to.
I wished it would be slower right now as I looked at
her.
Maybe she suspended time itself. I sometimes wondered
how she did that.
Mother looked much too young to give birth to someone
as old as me...
Then, she turned around and leaned her back on my
chest. As she held my hands to her chest and looked
up to the sky, she mumbled, "Ah, another letter?"
Though she tried not to show it, she was a bit annoyed
every time I mentioned something like that to her.
But her actions would betray her calm and ice-like
demeanor: She held my hands a bit tighter.
When we ate dinner later...
"Your father had given me a love letter when he first
talked to me. He had said he wanted me to be with
him. I immediately laughed at him."
"Why did you do that?" I said in between eating my
rice.
"Because he said to meet him here." She pointed to
the garden. "He was so straight-forward, I couldn't
keep from laughing..."
[flashback from Setsuka's pov]
I blinked at the dinner before me. I didn't know that
a fifteen-year-old boy could be so self-sufficient.
But then, I found out that he did not even have a
servant though his belongings obviously showed him to
be of a very high-class.
He kissed me, but then he laughed, "You feel so cold."
I smiled back at him the only way I knew I could.
Then, he led me to the bedroom...
When we put our clothes back on, he pulled my hand and
led me to the back. "It's a land of mystery," he had
said to me.
And I was awed at the beautiful sakura trees around me
blooming in the middle of winter. Something like that
seemed imaginable, ne? But he had made it possible.
In some strange way, I couldn't understand how,
though.
He then looked at me straight in the eyes. "I don't
care if you are a witch or whatever you are. Just
promise to kill me when the time comes. Shoving a
ring onto my finger, he then said, 'Stay with me for
the rest of my life.'"
I sighed and lowered my eyes. I didn't know what to
do at that moment. Here was a fifteen- year-old boy
asking me to marry him.
Did he really know how old I was? I could have been a
possessed doll trapped for a million years for all he
knew!
And yet, he had chosen to court a girl he had seen in
passing while walking in Ueno Park. I had felt
nothing because I had been locked for so many years by
my family. When they had heard the oracle's
prediction for me, they shunned me from the world...
...but I had broken free...with blood on my hands...
It had been the only way. But knowing not of
compassion or mercy, I thought nothing of it.
There was something about him that wouldn't make me
say no. Maybe it was his look or his touch...
But The numbness in my heart was somehow defrosted and
so as the petals fell to the ground, I nodded my head.
And we lived happily for a year. I almost felt human
then...
But then, the boy who had asked me to love him, asked
me to kill him because he had loved me. "I've already
explained everything...so...If I'm to be killed, can
it not be by you, Setsuka?"
He held my hands so warmly as he said this with much
sincerity.
My own name made me blink. I had had no name until I
met him. He had been the one to name Setsuka. And
though I was usually quiet, he had learned of my
fondness for red camellias.
So, when I blinked at him, I felt the urge to cry.
But if that's what he wanted, then how could I
possibly say no to his request?
We knew we couldn't live like this forever.
You watched with your innocent eyes the death of your
father by my hands. You were sitting here in your
basinett watching me slash through his heart. Some
speck even fell on your cheek and rolled down your
face. But you were not scared, Seishirou. Your
father had named you 'Life and Death' anyway."
She glanced back at me. "Someday, you will do the
same to me. And the one whom you love will also."
Mother sat in my lap while wrapping her arms around me
and started to cry. It was the third time she had
cried in her life. Birth, my father...and now for me.
Now Mother kissed me warmly sweetly on the lips.
Then, she let go and giggled as she ran away from me
with the steps of one who was not human. It was as if
bells were attached to her body giving a melody
wherever she flowed and meandered.
As I followed her, she sat on the staircase and tilted
her head again. "My beloved is going to replace me?
Yes, someday, you will."
I smirked and stood at the bottom of the stairs
shaking my head. "Now, why would I not want that?"
I stepped up closer and closer, but she would step
back further and further until we found ourselves in
the bedroom. She bit her finger until it bled.
Pulling my collar, she placed her bloodied finger on
my mouth. "Are you really sure?"
Sucking on the blood and smiling, I answered, "Of
course, I am...Mother..."
"Prove it to me, Sei-chan." Her eyes flashed as if
they were golden.
Blink, blink.
As she sat on the bed, her leg showed through the
kimono and her disheveled hair fell every which way
making her look like an angered goddess who would
feast on human flesh.
Looking straight at me, she asked the same question
that she would always ask me, "Do you love me,
Seishirou?"
I nodded assuringly as I smelled the scent of
camellias in her hair.
"Hounto ni?" She said as her arms wrapped themselves
around my neck almost stranggling me teasingly.
"Hounto." I answered.
"You know what? You look like your father when he was
fifteen." She then blinked her eyes at me and bit my
neck like a vampire. And we watched the stream of my
blood flow down my body.
But she drank it all the same.
"I love you, Seishirou..." her silent, yet threatening
tone rang in my ears playfully.
Enwrapping me with her now open red, embroidered
kimono, she consumed me wholly...
***
When I came back from school the next day, Mother
grinned at me while smelling flowers in the garden.
Again, blood was dripping from her fingertips onto the
snow beneath her.
As I walked closer and closer to her, I was
disappointed at this game we had been playing all this
time.
As I took a hold of her into my arms, I closed my eyes
and embraced her. As I looked into her eyes, I knew
they weren't for me. I now understood something that
she would always deny to herself: She truly did not
love me.
Her body was so cold no matter how much I embraced
her. Mother had died after father died. Only a
living corpse had remained in its place, keeping a
soul which was searching for what she couldn't
possibly understand. Something that was only within
my father.
So somehow, she had found a way to suspend time
itself. Living upon the death and blood of others,
she kept alive like a beautiful golden-eyed vampire.
She had lived in her painful stillness. Mother lived
so many years in seclusion with no warmth or light in
a cemented cell called a broken sanctuary. She wasn't
smiling because she thought things were amusing, she
was smiling because she was truly sad. But, not
experiencing many or enough emotions, she could not
express it otherwise.
Earlier that morning, I had realized all this when she
whispered with a smile, "Seishirou, you have the same
name as your father, did you know that?"
She had not seen me.
She had seen Him.
And so, all this time, Mother had been waiting slowly
with a smile.
She had waited patiently for me to grow up only to
fulfill her wish of...
...Wanting to be killed by the one she loved the most.
When she closed her eyes peacefully, I said,
"Sayonara, Okasan."
Though she did not love me, I could honestly say I had
deeply loved this female who had given birth to me.
Not as my mother, but as a woman.
I looked at the first sincere smile on her face.
Then, I passionately kissed my Akai Tennyo for the
very last time.
When I did so, it was as myself.
"I hope you will accept it as thus..." I whispered to
her ear knowing she could no longer hear me. I
embraced her closer in my arms as her blood painted
the snow beautifully.
---
Author's note: I don't know why, but I've had this
stuck in my head for some time now.
But I don't think I did as well as I should have.
*sighs*
I didn't know how to conceptualize Setsuka's character
until I had heard Seishirou's character file
yesterday. (Thank you, Winnie!)
I don't scare easily, but her voice was so creepy, yet
beautiful and seductive that I could feel the hairs on
my neck stick up. It was then that I realized that
the X anime, brief as she may have appeared, had
nothing compared to the Setsuka in the character file.
I know I'm not talented enough to bring her character
to its full-potential either, but I hope you liked it
anyway. I really did enjoy making this fanfic too!
^_^v
I thank you humbly, as always, for reading my fanfics.
love, yui
=====
~list owner of IroIrona_fanfiction@yahoogroups.com~
I can hear your warm voice calling out to me saying, "It's a promise,
Kamui!" Someone please tell me why is that so wrong? I will always believe,
believe, believe...
I still believe in you, in you, in you.- songfic / Shinji
~~Yui on her dolls and TB/X:
You simply can't have a Seishirou without a Subaru....~~
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