http://clampfix.fanworks.net/tb-fix/killme02.txt </head><body><pre>Disclaimer: TB = not yui's but clamp's. Killing Me Softly by Miyamoto Yui Chapter 2 - Shiranai kedo. (But didn't know...) I laughed to myself at the thought. It had been years since that wonderful day, and yet I always remembered it as if it were just a few minutes ago. Subaru Sumeragi had made impressionable mark that couldn't go away. It was mixed with a guilt that I couldn't foresee and yet I was still gladdened by these turn of events. His grandmother, Lady Sumeragi, was so mad at me. Trying to contact me telepathically and commanding me never to touch Subaru, I found it so amusing. Was it the forbidden wall I was never to cross that got me even more energetic for the challenge? Or was I so easily touched by the young Sumeragi? I smirked to myself. Maybe- Tap, tap, tap, tap.... Looking back, I found my astroprojection had caught the eye of the young Sumeragi. And being the way he was, he obviously ran after it. Just amused at the sight, I glanced up and down from my newspaper across the train platform from his own. "WAH!" he shouted as he tripped to the ground and landed on his face. With wide eyes, I watched him still gripping onto my paper and embarrassed at the loud laughing my hawk was making. Eh tou... Jumping across the dead track, I held out my hand to pick him up. "A-arigatou!" He immediately replied. Just as polite as ever. You never do change, don't you, Sumeragi-kun? Taking out my handkerchief, I began to wipe his red face and he looked at me uncertainly. "Eh-eh...tou....umm..." But he didn't protest. He never did that kind of thing to me. Only subtly would he ever tell me no, ne? And that's what made this more fun. Taking him to the clinic, I began to treat his face with ointment and he quietly let me do so. As I took a closer look at him, I couldn't help but think about those wide green eyes. They've not changed. Not at all... Ah...I don't think I should stare or else he'll suspect something. Turning around, his sister than came to the door and into the clinic. And it was a riot. I had never laughed so heartily in such a long time. Of course, this was at Subaru-kun's expense, but still... If this was the way to be this close, then I shall take it. Then, Hokuto-chan said, "But Sei-chan is the kind of guy you fall in love with at first sight..." I looked over at Subaru and he started to melt more into his seat as if he were praying that his sister would just stop teasing him. But that would be no fun if I stopped it. And so, I joined in. Cruel, yes. But it was a trait that I never could get rid of and not one that didn't have its benefits at times. It was then that I found Subaru concentrating on his thoughts. And I was torn at this. He may remember... I don't want him to remember...not yet... What the hell am I thinking...? And then I caught the last sentence loud and clear. For a minute, I stood there unable to control my annoyance. I then looked seriously at them and countered sternly, "No, this is NOT the first time we've met." "It isn't?" He blinked his eyes in surprise along with his sister. I shook my head in stubborness. "No. We met a long time ago." He had forgotten... that day... but I wouldn't let him... he has forgotten the dream I gave him... ... but if he remembers, I must fulfill the promise... And we left it at that...well, on the outside. Trying to appear lighthearted again, I then again tease him. And this time, I said, "On Subaru-kun's and my wedding day-" "But, but I'm a guy," he stammered. And I took the opportunity to corner him. Leaning closer and closer to him while saying that maybe I was hentai for thinking these things, I became very hot. I wanted to touch him. To be that close to him as I was now... In an alternate universe, maybe we could be together, Subaru... But as of this moment, it cannot be... When they were going to leave, Hokuto asked me, "Hanami! Let's see it together!" I agreed and smiled. Maybe I can remind you now, Subaru... As I touched that blessed tree, the Sakura above me began to fall as if it was heeding to its master's call. It was the sakura tree had stood through time and I stood below it to seal its lost memories. Subaru turned around to see me there standing silent and smiling back at him. "Do you know why the sakura is pink?" Taking off my glasses, "It's because there are dead people buried under the sakura." His eyes opened wide in shock and looked back at me in horror. He was remembering. And I wanted to reach out and embrace him... "No, I don't want you to remember", I thought for a second. So I looked away from him as he began to contemplate the familiar scene. Still looking at me, I pushed my weight on the sakura tree. If I don't lean on this tree, I will grow weak. I always lose my reserve with this boy... Putting my glasses back on, I went towards Hokuto-chan who was calling to us. Looking back, Subaru-kun put his hand on his head in confusion. You are remembering... But I need more time.... "Subaru-kun~!" Hokuto-chan shouted at him as we began to eat. Catching his breath, he ran to his sister who was already annoyed at him. He then joined us at the picnic. But he wasn't here at all now. A tug at my heart began to form once more. That little string of guilt that never went away whenever I looked at him. While passing him food, I asked curiously with a look full of concern, "What's wrong, Subaru-kun?" He's so distracted. I then began to wipe his mouth as Hokuto-chan made some comment, but this time, Subaru-kun was so out of it, he didn't notice until I was close to him he began to blush even redder than before. I love that look of pure innocence... "N-nandemo nai..." He then shook his head and tried his best to smile at me. But I knew it was my fault. I patted his shoulder to calm him down. "I hope so..." As I continued to eat and laugh, he looked at us so contentedly but as if it were not going to last long. Somewhere deep inside of himself, he knew... He could feel it... As I waved goodbye, I said thank you and walked in the opposite direction towards my apartment with my coat in my arms. But when they were gone, the smile faded. And I became serious once again. While walking up the steps to my apartment, I began to sigh. "Subaru-kun..." Pushing the key into the lock, I opened the door and closed it just as quickly. After lifting up the switch to my room, I sat on my bed and took off my tie. "That look nagged me..." I said to myself. "Ah..." Sighing again, I took my glasses off and placed them on the dresser. And then I laid on my bed with my hands behind my head again. I had done that to him. You're remembering me, Subaru-kun... ...and I don't think it's a good thing... Inside the corner of my mind hidden for years, a voice whispered to me. "I wish I could leave him alone...and let him live." Even my mind didn't know which way to go. Again, I questioned myself: Was it the forbidden wall I was never to cross that got me even more energetic for the challenge? Or was I so easily touched by the young Sumeragi? But I knew the truth all along. I was so caught up in the game that I forgot. Subaru had touched me like the hand I held out to him that day. Crushing petals in my hands, I wanted to show my strength, but no, that wasn't it all... ...that's what he was doing to me but ever so slowly. "This was the day I let you live." I had said. But that was the same day I let myself die... Sumeragi was unraveling me with my own means of killing people. Like the sakura I purposely told to fall in a frenzy so beautifully that day, he took my heart in his hand and was crushing me... ...and even more painfully, he did so without knowing it. Not at all... -- Author's note: Ack...ack...this is so hard. I'm more of the Subaru type of personality than a Seishirou... * sigh * </pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>