http://clampfix.fanworks.net/tb-fix/killme03.txt </head><body><pre>Disclaimer: I love TB but it's not mine. ;_; Killing Me Softly by Miyamoto Yui Chapter 3 - You didn't know anything at all. Growl. No matter how many times you think you're inhuman or surpassing the human race...your stomach was there to remind you but. "Time to eat." I monotonously said to myself. While humming to myself, I listened to the rain become a soft patter to a pounding noise that seemed almost inhuman. While stirring my stew, it was then I remembered... [flashback] "You shouldn't be doing that right now, Subaru-kun!" Hokuto-chan had shouted at him. Tugging on his priest outfit, she began to plead, "Please? Please?" "But...these people..." he then looked at her deeply. "That boy said there were people buried here. And that's why the sakura are pink." She gasped. "But the rain is starting to pour..." He stubbornly stood his ground. "Sumimasen. But just tell grandmother I will be late in coming home then." Unable to leave him, Hokuto-chan stood there looking at him with her hands over one another. "You sure?" "Yes," Subaru answered firmly. Looking back with a smile, he assured her, "I'll be all right." And she had left with that. The smile on his lips had faded and he began to go around all the sakura doing what he usually did. And then, he looked up to the last one. Putting his hand, a now black gloved one, on the tree, he began to cry as he chanted. Going to his knees, he began to clench his fists and cry again. I was behind one of the other trees and stood there with my arms crossed watching him. Guilt...it was again reforming inside of me as I saw his tears... The rain began to drop faster and faster. But there he stood looking at the sakura tree as if there was no rain...as if it could help him... ...as if asking if he could turn back time... In all the excitement...he fainted. But before my umbrella fell for the ground, I had dashed to catch him. Lifting up a wet Subaru in my arms, I looked around and began walking towards his shrine. Walking out of the park, I looked down at him again. He began to murmur, "Why? Why did you do this to me?" And I knew who he was talking to... Pinch... My heart began to ache and so my chest muscles began to contract. So I started to cough. Laying him at the foot of the shrine steps, I kissed his forehead and walked away as if it were nothing. I had become so soft... What the hell was happening to my edge?! I was supposed to kill him... There was opportunity to... and yet I couldn't. It wasn't a fair fight. And I was in- Knock, knock. "Who could that be at this late an hour and in the pouring rain?" I lifted up my ladle and mumbled to myself until I heard the knocking again. Lifting up my shoulders, I walked over to my front door. Upon opening it, my eyes opened wide to see a drenched Subaru in front of me. I hate that face... It always reminds me of what I have done... To make that smile fade so easily... He was dripping and as he stepped closer to me, I saw the tears that had been cried and just wouldn't stop. Closing my eyes for a moment as if to deny this, I then stepped forward and once again lifted Subaru into my arms. I placed him on my bed and got a towel to dry off his hair. But there was nothing I could do with his clothes, so I wrapped him a big blanket to keep him warm. All I could do was act so calm though I worried if he would get sick. Just like that time... And I didn't realize that I was still holding him close to me. But he didn't say anything to get me out of my thoughts. "Sumimasen..." he apologized as his wet head of hair dripped onto my shirt. The rainwater began to fall and mench onto my shirt. Drip, drip, drip. I don't mind at all. Drip... Shaking my head in compliance, I replied, "It's okay." It's actually more than okay... And I think that's when he couldn't handle it anymore. He began to shake and cry silently in front of me. In an even tighter embrace, I consoled, "Stop crying, Subaru-kun." I hate it when you cry... But if I hold you anymore I might become- After a few minutes, I got up and asked, "I'll give you something to drink so that you'll calm down, okay?" Slowly, he nodded his hand and I left the room. When I gave him a drink, he began to explain his last 'job' to me. As I nodded and agreed with him, he began to cry. Again, out of pity, compassion, and gentleness, Subaru cried for these people. As he laid in my lap while crying, I ran my fingers through his hair not really knowing what to do. To betray myself... or to betray him... This was the question. As I put him to sleep, he mumbled to me, "Arigatou gozaimasu..." It was then that I entered another room and punched the full-glass mirror. Chuckling to myself, the me that wanted his blood was coming out... I wanted to devour him... right then and there... As thunder crashed outside, I came out of the room. While walking up to him, I took out my glasses and undid my tie from the heat. On his bedside, I then gently took the back of his neck and pulled it up towards me. Blinking his eyes, he looked so confused as he looked up at me. You're dreaming...I'm making you feel like this is a dream. That I would never do this to you... Though I am. Though I wanted to. "Seishirou-san?" I smiled down at him. And he looked like he was thinking about something again as he began to drift off. Lifting his head up even more, I leaned closer to kiss him. Feeling his neck, I started to make an invisible path as I kissed his cheek and kept on kissing him until I reached the middle of his throat. It was then that I said aloud, "You should watch out, Subaru-kun..." Kiss, kiss... I am dreaming... Tenderly touching his cheeks, I was so close to his ear that I touched it with my lips. Whispering even lower I said,"...because the happiness you want may lead you to darkness and sadness." Placing his head back onto the pillow, I then kissed him on the lips again. As he held my cheek shakily with all the strength he had, I placed it back down on the bed as I kissed his forehead. Laughing almost to myself, I said, "Mine. Maybe I should say this to myself also, shouldn't I, Subaru-kun?" He's not resisting me at all... Maybe he... As the rain began to fall, I looked closely at him through the thundering. In the pitter patter of the rain, my own fell... He looked up at me with a face that said, "Why are you crying on me, Seishirou?" I shook my head. In frustration, that's all I can do right now... I didn't know why. My mind, my heart, and my life were going in different directions and I didn't know what to choose. All I knew was that you were killing me ever so slowly. Making me think twice about everything I had done in my life and everyone that I had killed and/or trusted... It was now that I realized your true power over me, Subaru. How you could wring my heart like a twisted sakura petal... ...and still look at me so clearly... ...trust me so wholly... You didn't know anything at all, Subaru...nothing... Clenching him with my hands, I couldn't do anything at all... Plip, plop, plip, plop... -- Author's comments: >< Seichan's just driving me bonkers...this ish so hard...</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>