http://clampfix.fanworks.net/tb-fix/killme08.txt </head><body><pre>Disclaimer: Tokyo Babylon is the property of Clamp. When that tear came out... It was then I remembered what I myself erased from my own memory... Random Thoughts by Miyamoto Yui Chapter 8 - Forgotten Dream. Looking at the sakura still flying in this warped space where time had ceased, yet the memory had still lived, I again saw a little boy. "Of course, it was Sumeragi Subaru..." On a whim, I had wanted to take a stroll and watch that prey that I had come to fancy because of something unusual. I didn't know what it was, but there just something so fascinating about him. And the feeling he gave me, it felt like I could just touch the epitome of perfection. For the sakurazukamori, I was told that love was an illusion that couldn't be touched. It was an outdated thing. And yet, that feeling called love was the deep and pursuing passion that drove a killer to kill their prey. I don't know, for no one told me, when or why this curse came upon my household that we must kill and yet be killed by the one we loved the most. And yet, I think I had understood when I looked at that little boy Sumeragi... You mold. You build. You destroy. But still, twisted as this thinking was... ...weren't they always yours? And, I had no better teacher than my own mother... And so, I observed that boy from his classroom from the rooftop of his school. School was boring to me anyway. What would I need from those humans? I was the top student in my class. And anyone who dared to defy me only got an invisible slap to their face at what I could do... Tilting my head, I watched Sumeragi playing soccer. No, let me rephrase that, he had asked to play with them. "Take off your gloves then!" they had said. Children were just as cruel as any assassin, I'd say... "I can't." He shook his head. "I'll get in trouble." "You weirdo!" one said. "I don't want to play with him because that one time, blood started to drip from his gloves." Another teased painfully, "Then there was that time that a light appeared with that star, huh?" "What are you dumb boys doing to my brother?! HUH?!" A very pissed off Hokuto-chan came and was about to pound them, but her brother just shook his head and ran away from all of them. It was then that I found myself crying a single tear for him... He wasn't running because he was afraid... It was the emotional impact of it all... "I shouldn't have done it..." I found myself saying as my grin of satisfaction at his torture had pierced my heart. And then, I found myself running after him . I don't know where, how, why, when, or what I did, but there I was watching myself at my weakness. I pulled his collar and began to hold his shoulders. Then, I turned him around to face me. "Oni-chan?" he had said. And for a moment, my eyes opened wide a bit. He didn't remember... I keep on forgetting that I erase your memory. Still kneeling, I hugged him and I patted his back. "Cry. Keep on crying." "You're very nice, Ni-chan." he replied. I shook my head. I am not kind at all... This won't be enough for Fate... I will make you cry more when you grow up... He held onto my white polo shirt and cried to his heart's content. "They don't understand..." he whispered in a quivering voice. "Only my sister understands..." "Understand what?" I asked. He shook his head. "Only my sister understands because she loves me...she and my grandmother..." I had taught him to shut his heart... Holding him tighter, he cried even more. Patting his head, I kissed him on the lips as he watched me in awe. "Ni-ni-chan..." I blinked and looked at him seriously. "I...I understand too, Subaru-kun..." Then, because Subaru had known sadness at such a young age, his thinking was different from most children his age. He tilted his head and smiled, "Thank you for caring about me, Ni-chan..." Oh, I care for you more than that... And he fell asleep on my lap. But as I patted him, I gradually erased his memory... ...and my own. As I slashed my hand through Hokuto's heart, that memory had risen from its slumber inside of my heart. As she tilted back, she whispered, "Subaru..." 'Til the end, she would always protect him unlike any other person. She was doing what I could never do... For how can one protect and kill at the same time? This was what I was trying to understand... Grinning to myself, this perfection in the sakura petals flying about us, I held her out to Subaru. It was part of my jealousy, I knew. NO ONE would have Subaru...no one but me. Sadistic, isn't it? That I would hold you out to Subaru, Hokuto? Even you won't stop me, even with your words or your curse... You will not prevent me from having all... All of Subaru's heart... In the stillness, Subaru shouted, "HOKUTO-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I wasn't grinning because I teasing this time. No, I was smiling because it was finished. I had broken him completely. There was no point of return from here. You couldn't see my eyes, Subaru. I wouldn't let you see what you had done to me. Still holding Hokuto, I lifted my head. And there were tears on my eyes ready to fall. It is finished... You had seen me kill a little girl and now you see me kill your own sister. Fate has come full circle... The same boy who had told me thank you for my kindness finally hates me... I have changed you, Subaru. And you will never smile the way you used to. No, not for me anymore. --- Author's note: >< </pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>