http://clampfix.fanworks.net/x-fix/heart4.txt </head><body><pre>All C&C welcome as usual. All characters are property of CLAMP. Standard disclaimers apply. --- Vicissitudes II: The Heart of the Sakura (Part 4) An "X" Fanfic Presented by Alison Koh He had been leaning against the wall at the same spot for almost an hour, barely moving throughout the entire time that one might be forgiven for mistaking him as part of the furniture. However, he would occasionally glance at the door beside him with an expression on his face that hinted at both anxiety and curiosity. For a brief moment, Subaru reached out his hand to the doorknob, contemplating if he should barge in right now, but just as quickly he changed his mind and resumed his sentry position. "Are they still in there?" Subaru almost jumped at the sound of the voice and looked up instantly. Sorata and Arashi smiled. "Yes," Subaru replied. Sorata walked up to his side and patted him reassuringly on the shoulder. "Don't worry. He's not going to eat up Kamui. And if he tries something funny, I'm sure the boy is old enough to scream for help," Sorata said. Subaru blushed faintly at the monk's failed attempt at humour. He said, "I wish I know what they are doing now." Arashi spoke, "The wards in Kamui's room are still active. Even with the Sakurazukamori's power, he cannot disable the wards entirely. I'll sense it if he tries to hurt Kamui." "Thank you, Kishu-san. I know that but still I..." "Kamui will be all right. Once he's done with his training, the two of you can continue with whatever you've been doing secretly when no one's looking," Sorata grinned. If Subaru had reacted to that comment, the monk never had a chance to notice, for the very next moment a sharp pain shot up the side of his ribs where Arashi had just elbowed him hard. "Ne-chan! You're not trying to kill me, are you?" he groaned with a pitiful look on his face. "Excuse him please," Arashi begged Subaru politely. The Sumeragi was a little too stunned by the comic scene to suitably respond. Just then, the door to Kamui's room clicked open and Subaru whipped his body around. Seishirou watched him silently from the parted doorway. Then a slight figure of a boy peeked out from beside him. Subaru gazed apprehensively at Kamui, and was relieved when he saw the earnest smile on the boy's face. Kamui looked tired, but happy. "Everything is going to be all right," he whispered to his Special Person. * After dinner, Subaru and Kamui decided to take a stroll in the garden together. There was much that Subaru wanted to ask, and which Kamui was eager to tell. Apart from the songs of the crickets, it was very quiet, but the air was cool and the scenery pleasant under the glow of the soft artificial lighting. They did not speak and their every action was tentative. Occasionally they would walk too close into each other's path such that their hands would brush against the other's, but then they would immediately shrink away. It continued this way until Subaru finally broke the silence and asked, "How did it go?" "Well, I guess. Seishirou-san taught me some simple spells to moderate the Sakura's influence. At least I don't sense it calling so loudly now." "Really?" Kamui looked at his companion and said, "I think so." "I suppose there's only one way to find out," Subaru remarked with a playful smile. Before Kamui could react, Subaru's arms were already wrapped tightly around his body. "Are you all right?" Subaru asked. Kamui sank into that welcomed embrace and nodded. "It feels so good to hold you again." "So do I." They remained in that position for some time until Kamui spoke again. "Were you waiting for me outside the room all the while?" Subaru nodded, "I had to be sure you didn't come to harm again. I wish I could be with you but you must understand that there is an unwritted but well understood rule between onmyoujutsu practitioners that members of one clan cannot spy at nor interfere in the training of those of another clan. "However, should you have screamed or have I felt anything suspicious, I would have rushed in immediately." "Thank you," Kamui whispered. He pondered for a moment and then said, "Subaru, can I ask a favour of you?" "Yes?" "Would you..." Kamui stopped as he felt a warm flush on his cheeks. Subaru looked down at the boy's blushing face and read the silent plea in his bright shimmering eyes. "I understand," Subaru said. He bent down closer and kissed Kamui deeply. Kamui could sense a strong echo of the Sakura's anger tearing insistently at the edges of his consciousness, but the love he felt for Subaru was stronger and so he took refuge in that. * Seishirou looked out from the window of his room, catching a glimpse of the two Seals as they returned to the mansion. Kamui looked more cheerful since their first training session, while Subaru was visibly more relaxed. The assassin chuckled as he thought to himself, "Is this what it feels like to 'love' someone?" He had to admit that it was not an altogether unpleasant feeling. Beneath the trepidation and the mild sense of uncertainty, there was a warmth and tenderness that spoke of hope and security promised by the presence of a Special Person. Seishirou had never felt this way before. Of course, he knew that he was only experiencing Kamui's emotions, which were surprisingly strong. Yet Seishirou could not help but feel that he might have been missing something all his life. Many years ago, he had made a Bet with Subaru, hoping that he could finally feel something other than the emotional void in his heart. In the end, he had won the Bet by failing to feel. Perhaps he was presently being given a second chance to feel something tangible and lasting. Outside the main hallway, Subaru could be heard wishing Kamui a good night's rest as they each headed towards their own room. Even though the Sakura's influence was under control, Seishirou had advised that they should avoid being alone together too often. It was never a good idea to challenge the Sakura too far, especially when Kamui was still in an emotionally precarious state. With a deep sigh, Seishirou stubbed out the barely touched cigarette in his hand and stepped into the hallway. He paused outside the door, hesitating for a moment before he finally knocked and entered. Kamui was already sitting on his bed, preparing for sleep. He observed Seishirou with a curious look. "Seishirou-san? Yes?" Seishirou shrugged and smiled. Pulling a chair next to the bed, he sat down and asked, "How did it go with Subaru-kun?" Kamui blushed. "Everything went well. We...talked. I wasn't as affected by the Sakura, though I could feel its anger quite clearly." He paused for a moment and then he uttered, "Thank you." "Don't you blame me?" Seishirou asked. There was a hint of amusement in his eye as he found Kamui's behaviour rather cute. Kamui shook his head, "In a way, I think I understand why you did it. I might have done the same thing if I were you. No matter what, you did save Sorata's life. And if it hadn't been for you, Subaru and I might never have..." He blushed even deeper at the thought of the Sumeragi. A soft chuckle from Seishirou forced him to look up again. Noting the kindness in the man's smile, Kamui spoke, "Seishirou-san, can I ask you something?" Seishirou nodded. "Did Fuuma hurt you badly that time?" Kamui asked. Seishirou frowned momentarily at the unpleasant memories but his warm smile returned and he answered, "I survived. It'll take more than that to break me." Kamui lowered his gaze and said, "I'm sorry." Seishirou was instantly struck by the sincerity in Kamui's voice and found it strangely touching. He reached out a hand to playfully ruffle the boy's perpetually messy hair and said, "You don't have to apologise. It was not your fault." The boy's shoulders relaxed perceptibly, as if a great weight had been lifted. Did Kamui feel guilt for the /Dark Kamui's/ actions, Seishirou wondered? "So much like Subaru," Seishirou mused silently to himself. Yet he recognised a different quality within Kamui. While young Subaru might have been willing to sacrifice himself to help every single person around him including strangers and enemies, Kamui loved his friends as strongly as he hated his enemies. As a result, Kamui was more emotionally complex and interesting than Subaru could ever be. Kamui asked another question, "Can the Sakura be stopped?" Seishirou looked at the boy in surprise. This was not an option he had ever considered. The Tree had become so much a part of him, the wellspring of his powers, that he had never quite considered being separated from its influence. Yet, the Tree was already preparing to replace him, and Seishirou knew that such a succession would require his death. He pondered the question for a while before replying. "I don't know. However, I do know that my mother had tried to resist its influence and went mad as a result. Hence, she was usually locked up in a secret room until there was an assignment. I've heard of previous Sakurazukamoris who had attempted to revolt against it. None of them met with a pretty end. Are you planning to destroy it?" Kamui nodded firmly. "If I don't, I'll never find any true happiness with Subaru." "Even if it might destroy you in the process?" "It is a risk I have to take. I made the choice this evening when I realised how much Subaru meant to me. I want to free him from the Sakura's shadow once and for all." "But if something happens to you, what do you think Subaru-kun would do?" Kamui smiled wistfully and said, "If that happens, I hope you will promise to watch over and protect him for me." "You trust me that much? After what I had done?" Kamui reached out a hand and gently touched the left side of Seishirou's chest. He said, "I do...because I can feel your heart." Upon hearing those words, the assassin pushed the hand away as he stood up. The smile on his face was gone. He walked towards the door, preparing to leave. But before he did so, he said, "You're wrong. I'm the Sakurazukamori. I am incapable of real emotions. What you had felt were only the remnants of your power, which I had once attempted to steal. Have you considered the possibility that I would die too if you should destroy the Tree?" "I..." "Goodnight, Kamui-kun," Seishirou said and closed the door firmly behind him. He looked about the empty hallway and decided to return to his room. As he laid on his back in the quiet darkness, the entire conversation with Kamui replayed itself in his mind. Why had he looked up Kamui? He had no more games to play. In fact, he feared that the Sakura's bloodlust might prove too strong for Kamui again, and then there would be no escape for Seishirou. Like Fuuma, the Tree was not known to tolerate open dissent. The Tree would know how to direct Kamui's power to its fullest potential in order to serve its twisted Will. Seishirou could not expect to fight against that. Kamui knew that the control techniques were only a temporary measure. Very soon, something drastic had to be done, like destroying the Sakura. Seishirou was disturbed by the calm on the boy's face. A peace that could only come about when one has made a firm decision. What was more surprising was that Kamui had not blamed him. The assassin understood that the boy's decision was more than a simple act of self-sacrifice. It was something that Kamui knew had to be done. There was no other way and thus Seishirou was very afraid. Would the Tree allow it to happen? Or would it try to take out all its enemies to join it in a glorious death? Yet, Seishirou knew that if anyone could succeed in destroying the Tree, it had to be the 'Kamui'. "If I had made the Bet with you instead of Subaru-kun, might the outcome have been different?" Seishirou wondered aloud. The silent night gave no clear answers. Seishirou decided to purge his mind of uneasy thoughts and welcome sleep instead. * The Dreamgazer could sense his /Kamui's/ anger. He had stormed into Kakyou's dreamscape, demanding that the Dreamgazer wove a terrible nightmare to ensnare his enemies and allow him to reach them in the unprotected realm of their dreams. Instead, Kakyou had refused, saying, "I can only see the Future in my dreams. Only the Sakurazukamori can create the illusion that you require." The mention of the "Sakurazukamori" had only set him off into terrifying fit and he threatened to kill the Dreamgazer. Kakyou only smiled, and Fuuma left instantly, the echo of his rage sending a ripple through the dreamscape. Kakyou toyed with the liquid surface of the ground and sighed. Perhaps he should have been afraid, and then the Dark Kamui might have granted his wish to die. Yet, he had seen something in his dreams that might make it worthwhile to live for a moment longer. Something which he had not told the /Kamui/. The Future, though destined, was never clearly etched. Kakyou could see the general picture of that dark future. However, even that was beginning to waver slightly in recent days. Now he wanted to know what the future might hold. * Subaru could smell that the food was good without having to hear Sorata singing loud praises early in the morning. Sad to say, the monk was not exactly blessed with an angelic voice. He entered the dining room and noted that the rest of the Seals had already gathered about the breakfast table. At the same time, Kamui and Seishirou entered from the kitchen, bearing individual portions of the food to serve to each person. It was a traditional breakfast of rice, miso soup, raw egg and grilled fish. "Kamui-kun did the actual cooking. I only instructed him on the finer details," Seishirou informed everyone as he looked proudly at his student. Subaru took a good look at Kamui and smiled. The boy looked positively adorable in an apron. He thought to himself, "Almost like a..." "Kamui will definitely make an excellent wife now," Sorata blurted out cheerfully. Subaru and Kamui instantly froze for a brief second, and then looked away while they tried to hide the flushed look of embarrassment on their cheeks. Karen and Seishirou secretly smiled in amusement, while Arashi gave the Kansai monk beside her a cold stare. Sorata, perhaps feigning ignorance, declared, "Don't be jealous, Ne-chan. No one can be as good as you, because I have personally chosen you to be my beloved!" Those were words he might have regretted the next moment as Arashi plunged her chopsticks onto the back of his hand, which was resting on the table. While there did not seem to be much damage done, someone hearing his scream from outside the room might have imagined his blood staining the table in a sea of red. Subaru and Kamui took this as the opportunity to sit down and dig into their food quietly. "I wish I could learn to be a good wife too," Yuzuriha muttered to herself. Seishirou overheard her words and said, "I believe you have a boyfriend?" The inugami-mistress blushed furiously and stammered, "Er...erm...no...not really...Kusanagi-san is just a...good friend." "Oh really?" Seishirou smiled, "Well, he sounds like a nice person. Why don't you invite him over for dinner? I'm sure the others would like to meet him." "I..." "Yes, Yuzuriha," Karen said, "I think it would be a great idea to have him over. How about this evening?" Yuzuriha instantly perked up and said, "Yes! Thank you." * Kusanagi sighed. He was pleasantly surprised to receive the call from Yuzuriha that morning. However, he was not prepared for the invitation to dinner at the Seal's home, and thus did not know what to expect. He had not told the girl about his identity as a Dragon of Earth. Not that he had anything to be ashamed of. Unlike most of his comrades, he did not enjoy the spectacle of destruction and so he had consciously distanced himself from their orgy of devastation. However, he was not sure how Yuzuriha might handle the truth. She was too trusting and sweet-natured, the very qualities that attracted him, and he had no wish to crush her faith. Perhaps he ought to have refused her, but his need to see her was even greater, and so he had agreed. He would just have to try harder to maintain his fa�ade. He straightened himself and pressed the doorbell. A few moments later the door opened and Yuzuriha's delighted face appeared from behind it. "Come in!" Yuzuriha chirped and dragged him across the main hall after closing the door. Presently, he found himself being introduced to all the Seven Seals around the dining table. "Please have a seat and make yourself feel at home," Seiichirou said as he pulled out a chair for the guest. Kusanagi accepted it graciously. As the other Seals began to take their own places, Kusanagi could not help but notice that there was an extra setting laid out on the table. "Do we have another guest?" he asked Yuzuriha, who was seated by his side. Before the girl could answer, there was an unpleasantly familiar tingling in his senses and the dark shadow of a man soon appeared at the doorway. "Good evening, Shiyu-san. We have not met for quite a while." Kusanagi stood up immediately, not bothering to hide the shock of recognition etched plainly on his face. "Sakurazukamori!" he gasped. ----- Dreams of Sakura Home -- http://www.starhub.net.sg/~alison X Shrine -- http://www.geocities.com/asuka_sg</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>