Disclaimer: The holy oracle X is property of the Holy Goddesses CLAMP and their High Priestess Ohkawa Nanase but the twisted little concept of this story was my idea so hands off or you'll be speaking to my lawyer ... He's the tall well-dressed individual wearing the shades and standing under the sakura tree ^_^

WARNING: Contains all types of ill shit o.Ox Hentai, bad language, very bad language, Keiichi, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tampax and High Priestess Ohkawa Nanase herself.

--
Yuzuriha fell to her knees beside Arashi who was nestled in the Kouya priest's arms. In her one hand she held a glass of water and in the other a painkiller. "Here, Arashi-san, drink this."

"I'm fine for fuck's sake," the bishouja snapped but popped the pill into her mouth and sipped at the glass anyway. She climbed to her feet herself. "Let's go, I want to get this over and done with. Yuzuriha, did you get what I asked for?"

"Er, yeah ..." The two girls huddled to one side.

Sorata caught snatches of the conversation. "... these okay? ... found a bathroom ... back of the store." The lively Kansai boy frowned hard in thought. "Hey Kamui," he began, pulling the bishounen aside, "is Arashi seeing anyone behind my back?"

Kamui: I bet she wishes she was ^_^
Sorata: Shut up! {punches Kamui in the arm}
Kamui: Ow ... :(

"No, why?"

"I think I figured out what's wrong with her. This morning she was throwing up and now she collapsed. I think she's pregnant." He balled his fists. "When I find the little shit I'm gonna put him in a fuckin coma."

Kamui sweatdropped. "Er, Sorata, I think you've got the wrong idea. She's ... ya know ..."

"What?"

"It's that time again," Kamui whispered.

"What time?"

Kamui smacked himself in the head. "Nevermind. She's always acts like that towards you. Can we go now? I've got a date with destiny. Yuzuriha? Arashi?"

"We're coming!" Yuzuriha called happily.

Eventually the Seven Seals left the pharmecy, accompanied by Keiichi and Schwarzenegger.

Meanwhile at Tokyo Tower ...

Seiichirou consulted his watch. "They're definitely late. I'm worried. They're not usually this late, even with Sorata in tow."

Sorata: I'll pretend I didn't hear that >.<

"You know we're probably not going to survive this," Karen purred, sliding up to Seiichirou. "They're just kids, let 'em have some fun before they die."

Seiichirou sweatdropped.

"What bothers me," Karen began, searching the steel platforms of Tokyo Tower one by one, "is the abscence of the Dragons of Earth. Fuuma wouldn't let them be late for something this important. Where else would they go? This is the last kekkai left. Destroy Tokyo Tower and the Dragon of Earth is as good as free."

Fuuma: {sniggering evily} You don't know the half of it!
Kus: Someone should tell them.
Kakyou: Don't look at me, I've helped them enough. Anyways Fuuma said that if I opened my mouth he'd make sure I wouldn't die today.
Hokuto: Yeah you'd better get yer skinny bishie ass up here lover-boy. I've been waitin nine fuckin years to get some. I can't believe my brother did it before me! O.Ox
Subaru: ^^;

The remaining Dragons of Heaven eventually made it to Tokyo Tower.

"Where is everyone?" Yuzuriha asked. "Are they late?"

"If they're this late they're not coming," Sorata said, serious for once.

"Maybe Satsuki's got PMS too," Kamui chipped in.

"It's not fucking fair!!" Arashi screamed, balling her fists at her sides. "If this isn't the End of the fucking World then I don't know why the fuck I even got out of my fucking bed this fucking morning!!"

Tokyo: o.O;;;;;;;;;

She held out her palm, extending the sword hidden within her as her hair flared around her. Karen asked Yuzuriha quietly, "What's up with the priestess? Is it Sorata?"

The inugami master shook her head and whispered the real reason in the soapland hostess's ear.

"That's a bitch," Karen nodded. "At least she can fight."

"Mmm ... mmm ... mmm!"

"Shut up, Keiichi, you don't get anymore lines," Kamui informed his sempai coldly without so much as a glance in his direction.

Keiichi shook his head and jumped up and down estatically. "Mmm, mmm, mmm!" He was pointing to a store window.

Ara-chan: No, Kamui, he does. Check the script.
Kamui: Are they in Japanese?
Ara-chan: You know how many people are reading this fic? Do you really think I'm going to expose those poor people to anything Keiichi has to say in English or Japanese? o.O
Readers: Well she's done it before ... ^^;

Schwarzenegger leaned on his bike and pointed to the big screen Sony TVs in the store window with a pump-action shot gun. "I think daht scarwy boy is on to something."

The Dragons of Heaven turned to the screens collectively. Aerial footage of structural damage and localized fires was being displayed as the anchor woman reported on seven unidentified people who were destroying Tokyo Disneyland.

DoH: Tokyo Disneyland? o.O
DoE: Tokyo Disneyland?! o.O;;
Satsuki: Beast doesn't like fun ~o-o~
Kus: Even so why are we destroying a happy Pocky-filled place?
Ara-chan: It's the last kekkai! ^^
Kamui: The battle for the Fate of the Earth takes place at a tacky amusement park? o.O;
Suu: Hey, I died in a tacky amusement park.
Ara-chan: I don't recall anyone saying anything else. Isn't that right?
High Priestess Ohkawa Nanase: I'm not saying a word -_-

"She has a point," Seiichirou said, adjusting his glasses. "No one told us it was going to end here. We made the assumption given Tokyo Tower's reputation and the fact that it's synonomous with destruction."

"Yeah but so is the rest of Tokyo," Karen said.

"No, it was definitely supposed to be here," Kamui claimed adamantly. "I saw it in a dream."

"You mean the Dreaming Princess told you?" Sorata asked.

"No, it was just a dream."

"Kakyou ...," Kamui realized. "He set us up."

"What did you expect? He's on their side," Karen pointed out. "You didn't expect that angsty innocent bishie façade to last 'til the Promised Day, did you?"

Kakyou: Oi, I'm the victim here!

"C'mon, let's get these mother fuckers!" Arashi yelled and leapt off, obviously angry as hell.

Arashi-sama: Can we do something about my mood swings? This is very OOC.
Ara-chan: It's late, I'm tired, I wanna finish this and IT'S MY GODDAMN FIC! ^^ So no, we can't do anything about your mood swings ^_^
Arashi-sama: Bitch ...

The Seven Seals descended upon Tokyo Disneyland already well into the final stages of destruction at the hands of the Seven Angels.

Nataku: Looky what Daddy bought me? Yummy candy-floss! ^_^
Kus: I wish Yuzu-chan was here now. Two ice-creams for the price of one ^^
Subaru: {coming out of fortune-telling tent with Kakyou} Did you get a load of that astral bullshit?
Kakyou: Yeah ... And he said the Future isn't decided yet. Feh! Hey should we go ask for our money back?
Subaru: Nah, I figured I'd mark him for the tree and come back later.
Ara-chan: Excuse me but I said *destruction*. You're not supposed to be having fun ^o^

A Seal to an Angel: Kamui and Fuuma, Yuzuriha and Kusanagi, Seiichirou and Kakyou, Karen and Subaru, Schwarzenegger and Satsuki ...

Ara-chan: I know what you're thinking, but even dead sticks are good for something, ne? Uh, expensive dead sticks anyway ^____^

Continued ... Arashi and Yuuto ...

Yuuto: Wait a sec--
Arashi-sama: Just shut up and play along. This is almost over, then we can go back to High Priestess Ohkawa Nanase's version of the End of the World.
High Priestess Ohkawa Nanase: Amen! ^^
Ara-chan: Hey ...

Yuuto *whipped* out his weapon--

Ara-chan: He whipped, get it? ^^
Everyone: Doh! ><;;

-- and attacked Arashi, counter-manouvering her *thrusts* with ease. The *thong* (Ara-chan: Kanoe!  Kanoe: Gomen ... ^^;) curled around her sword arm and yanked her towards him violently. She cried out in pain.

"I guess this is where that cheerful Osaka boy dies trying to save you." Yuuto smiled perversely at the Seal and glanced in Sorata's direction. The Kouya priest was playing with Nataku. "Scream for me. I want to see how fast he'll react."

A warm wet drop on his hand forced Yuuto's attention back to Arashi. She was on her knees at his feet, her sword hand twisted painfully in the whip's grip. The other hung onto the weapon in a feeble attempt to loosen the hold. There were tears in her eyes.

"Why can't just one little part of today go my way?" She whined. "This morning there was this and at Tokyo Tower -- you didn't even show up! I worked myself up for nothing! Do you know how that makes me feel?"

Yuuto's face was angsty. "Jeez, please don't cry. I don't know how to handle emotional women. Horny and psychotic, yes, but ..."

Too late. Arashi burst out crying and clung to the civil servant's legs. "It makes me feel ... like this!" She blurted out when she couldn't find the words to describe her state.

"There, there," Yuuto said, crouching to her level and putting his arm around her, "it's okay. We all have our off-days." He pat her back uncomfortably.

"Get your hands off my girlfriend!" Sorata yelled. A few cuts from Nataku's cloth hadn't stopped him. In defence of the woman he loved he shocked Yuuto, killing him instantly.

Yuuto: I'm dead? o.O;
BEAST: YAY! ^_^
Sorata: I saved her without dying! YAY! ^____^
Arashi-sama: Damn! Nevermind there are still plenty of DoE left.

"No," Satsuki's mouth worked lamely in shock. With her 20/30 vision preoccupied with her dead lover she didn't see Schwarzenegger approaching Beast.

The super computer beeped angrily and lashed out its cables trying to destroy the beefy German.

Schwarzenegger: Austrian!

"I am a maschine also," Schwarzenegger informed Beast coldly from behind his shades as he deflected every one of Beast's attacks. He cocked his shot gun, aiming it at the thing's power source. "Asta la viesta baby!"

The resulting explosion disabled Satsuki's special power, the only thing she had been able to use to the Angels advantage leading up to the Promised Day.

Ara-chan: Nyah, nyah, dead stick! ^^ I couldn't wait to kill her off.
Satsuki: I'm not dead, just in shock.
Ara-chan: You died of shock ^^

With Yuuto, Satsuki and Beast taken care of and the Dragons of Earth outnumbered it should've been easy to defeat the remainder, especially since at least one of them was willing to die.

"I'm not gonna kill an unarmed man," Seiichirou argued calmly. "I'm not a murderer. If you want me to hurt you at least help me make it look like self-defense."

Kakyou shook his head apologetically. "I'm afraid I can't do very much. Any other ideas?"

"Hmm," Seiichirou stood aside, thinking. "Well I suppose you did trick Kamui into believing the real location of the last kekkai was Tokyo Tower."

"No I didn't."

"What? You didn't appear in his dream?"

"No."

"Then who?"

Voice From The Shadows: Kackackackackack!

"Wait, aren't you going to kill me?" Kakyou asked.

Seiichirou blinked. "But you're an innocent man."

"Must I do everything myself?" A beautiful bishounen voice questioned rhetorically and using his powers of onmyoujitsu rammed his fist through Kakyou's chest. "Send my regards to Sei-chan and O-nee-san when you see them. Say hi to your slutty girlfriend," he added cruelly, driving his fist through Seiichirou's chest.

Seishirou: My but you're good.
Subaru: Why thank you ^^
Seishirou: Those extra lessons must have paid off.
Subaru: Seishirou! ^^;
Seishirou: You're still so cute when you blush.

With his last gurgling bloody breath Seiichirou turned to where Karen had been a moment ago. She was now lying in a pool of bright blood before he lost consciousness permanently.

Karen and Seiichirou Otaku: BOO! >.<
Ara-chan: What? They were the two most under-developed characters anyway. Keiichi practically got more screen time than they did o.O;

Yuzuriha, Mickey Mouse ears on her head, and Kusanagi, ice-cream in hand, watched from the sidelines. "I don't want it to end that way for us," the younger of the two said.

"Maybe it's the only way for us to be together," Kusanagi turned to her sadly. Inuki whined at their feet. "Can happiness be achieved without sacrifice?"

Mitsuteru Yokoyama: Hey you're stealing the concept of my anime >.<
Ara-chan: ^^; Well it was a really good concept {Note: I'm referring to Giant Robo}

"But I don't want to die," Yuzuriha said. "That was my Wish ... But what happens when you have more than one Wish and they're equally strong? How does Fuuma choose?"

"I pick the one most likely to end in your death," Fuuma announced, landing on the ground in front of her. "Your new Wish is for everyone to get along and be happy. You know what would make me happy?" He began to cause an earthquake. "If you'd all DIE!!"

Yuzuriha screamed and Kusanagi held onto her for dear life, knowing his power was dwarfed by Fuuma's in comparison.

"Gomen nasai osoku narimashita!" Keiichi yelled excitedly and threw himself in the line of fire, repelling the force of the quake.

Kamui: How'd he get free? And why's he still speaking Japanese?
Ara-chan: EZ Glide can be used for other things too ya know ^^; And I decided it suits Keiichi not being able to speak a word of English.

"Wha ...?" Fuuma backed up, surprised by the genki blond bishounen's display of power.

Keiichi grinned broadly. "Watashi o saisho desu!"

Using the opportunity Kamui impaled Fuuma in the back with his Shinken.

Schwarzenegger: Ja goody! Time for lunsch! ^____^
Ara-chan: Shinken not schinken >.<
Kamui: Wait a second, that's it? Fuuma's dead and I saved humanity just like that?
Schwarzenegger: And I tawt we ver going to need all these guns {empties pockets of small country's military arsenal}
Arashi-sama: It wasn't even about my friggin period >.<
Sorata: o.O;; So that's what Kamui was on about.

"What about the other Dragons of Earth?" Yuzuriha asked.

"We'll handle it from here, ma'am," a Tokyo police officer announced and watched Nataku and Subaru being dragged away. "As for your dream, young man, I think this person is the one responsible."

A man in a white kimono and long silvery hair was brought out and displayed before the Seals.

"Kakyou?!" They exclaimed in unison.

"But he's dead." Yuzuriha approached the bishounen and yanked on his hair. A mask came away to reveal Seishirou's smug face.

"Seishirou!?"

"But he's dead too!"

Sei-chan: Damn straight!
Hentai: {sniggering} You said straight! ^^

She pulled away the mask to reveal ...

"Hinoto!!??" The Seals sweatdropped.

"And I woulda succeeded too if it wasn't fer you meddlin kids! Feh!"

Inuki: Inukidookiedoo! ^o_o^
Ara-chan: Hey that gives me an idea. How about the DoH get themselves a Mystery Machine and go around Tokyo solving hauntings!
High Priestess Ohkawa Nanase: I think you've had enough for one day.
Ara-chan: No, I'm serious! Sorata could be Shaggy and --!
Inuki: No funckin way I'm workin with him. My agent specified a recurring role in X and after my death I'd be resurrected as the cutesy puppy. Nice salary, good food, babe of a co-star... Anyone seen my cigarettes?
Yuzuriha: Hentai >.< Keeps sticking his nose up my skirt!
Ara-chan: Okay, Keiichi can be Scooby! ^_^
Arashi-sama: I'm tired and I need to change. Let's get outta here and leave her to it.
Kamui: Yeah ...

OWARI

Arashi went on to have a successful career in gynaecology, inventing a period-pain-specific painkiller called Soraspirin. Sorata tried to sue for defamation of character but was thrown out of court (literally) when his lawyer (on loan from me) didn't show up. Using Arashi's celebrity status he acquired a small fortune by selling rare naked stalker-shots of her on Kanoe's Internet porn site o.O; He is being sued. Kamui, too, achieved fame and fortune after saving the world and is now Calvin Klein's most highly paid underwear model ^_^ Unfortunately the trauma he suffered during his destiny war made him bulemic ^o^ Kusanagi and Yuzuriha created Pokéinu, the story of a cat-eared little girl who catches and battles pocket dogs. Its popularity spawned a sale of merchandise that has trippled Pokémon's total earnings to date. The movie was dedicated to Inuki, hit by a speeding motorcycle. Schwarzenegger could not be traced by the police for questioning. Keiichi went on to become a motivational speaker, fluent in both Japanese and English. His best-selling tape was later banned in most first-world, democratic countries for inciting anarchy. It is rumoured that You Too Can Be Genki is the only Western video on sale in Iraq. As for the Dragons of Earth, Subaru was charged with trying to wipe humanity off the face of the earth and sentenced to life imprisonment. Not that he minds very much; prison is heaven for horny homo bishounen I hear ^^; A judge could not decide whether to try Nataku as a male or female, or as an adult or minor. It was therefore released into psychiatric care at Toushiroyakkou. Nothing is known about its current status. Hinoto wrote an autobiography called I Have No Eyes, Ears, Mouth or Legs But I Must Do Stuff. Critics hailed it as one of the most thought-provoking works ever writtem. Hollywood producers are talking to Jodie Foster for the movie. And Ara-chan? Well just about *everyone* sued her for this catastrophe o.O;; CLAMP, Arashi-sama, Sorata, all the dead Dragons of Heaven and Earth (except Sei-chan), Schwarzenegger ... In fact the only one who didn't sue was Keiichi. I'm pleased to report that we are now married with two wonderful genki children ^____^

--
Notes: It seems a lot different from part one and that's probably why I didn't like part two at first. I waited too long before writing it and that's why finishing this was awkward ^^; Now that I've read it a few times and people have sent me positive c/c it doesn't seem so bad ^^ I don't really have anything to add. I worked some of my parody ideas into the end (I wanted to do a Scooby-doo/X-Files twist on Tokyo Babylon) but since I'll never have the time this is as good as it gets ^o^ Once again Keiichi's translations are at the bottom for anyone who cares ^_^ For those not clued up on X trivia Toushiroyakkou is the lab where Nataku was "grown". Anywayz send c/c to Ara-chan <Arashi@xguyz.gq.nu> -- Keeper of the Pikachu Pokémon & Mokona's Evil Twin ^_^

Keiichi translations:
Sorry I'm late!
Me first!