http://clampfix.fanworks.net/x-fix/setsubo4.txt </head><body><pre>Whoooo, I typed a little too much today. Between part 4 of this fanfic, and various other over-the-summer academia my English teachers gifted me with, it was fun-for-my-fingers day -_- But when soccer’s canceled and you’re suddenly left with a free afternoon and nothing to do, what the hell! Ah, I think this fic can finally (kind of) earn the shonen ai label I was tagging it with. Who knows if I’ll get a little more adventurous later on… probably not though ^^; -Lapin Disclaimer: Herein I disclaim myself to any and all idiocy you may find transcribed below. I’d also like to add that suing the local idiot would be a cruel thing to do, so please don’t. ----------------------------- “Hey relax! Here, have some pie…” Yuzuriha hobbled around on one foot with a plate in her hand, and a fork –mounted like a little flag- in a slice of ‘pai’. She began to lose her balance and tilted over to one side, the pie threatening to slip off the plate into Kamui’s lap. Sorata jumped up and grabbed her around the waist, extracting the plate from her fingers and guiding her to a seat. He sat down by the recently, bandaged Kamui, and brought the fork up. “Come on, have a little bite Kamui-san.” He pushed uneventfully at the younger, Seal’s lips, and Kamui turned his face away, causing Sorata to jab at his cheek. “Watch it !” “It’s not my fault! I’m not trying to feed the side of your face y’know.” “You shouldn’t be trying to feed me at all!” Kamui stood up, winced a little, and walked over to a large window. He grabbed the heavy fabric that hung from it and sighed. Yuzuriha whispered in Sorata’s ear, “He’s behaving more angsty then usual. What happened when you guys went out there, Sorata-san?” Arashi came and sat by Yuzuriha’s side, answering for him, “Something very strange happened. I’m not quite sure how to describe it; we weren’t in time to preserve the Kekkai, but we did encounter the Sakurazukamori and the other Kamui.” “Oh my!” Yuzuriha’s cat ears propped up, “How frightening! Those two are the meanest of them all.” She trailed off quietly, “Even Kusanagi-san says so…” But Sorata and Arashi were too involved with each other to notice Yuzuriha’s, little comment. “Ne-chan has nothing to fear with me by her side!” “Have you ever considered that perhaps the source of my discomfort and stress originates from /you/?” “I try not to discourage myself from opportunities.” “I’m not an opportunity and I’m not a chance for you to get something!” “Well then, if I can’t /get/ it, would you mind /giving/ it to me?” He took advantage of Arashi’s momentary confusion and held her hand. “I am going to die for your sake, so I don’t have an unlimited amount of time to enjoy you. So, if I’m not dashing or handsome or charming enough to sweep you off your feet, maybe… you could just fall into my arms?” Arashi searched his eyes for a moment, trying to see if this was another joke. In the end she wasn’t sure, and got up. “I’m tired.” She pulled her hand out of his, “We should all try an get some measure of sleep before tomorrow comes.” “I agree! Although, I believe tomorrow is already today, Ne-chan.” Sorata and Arashi retired to their rooms, but Yuzuriha stayed back a moment. She hopped over to Kamui and put a hand on his shoulder (for both comfort and balance). “Kamui-san should sleep now, especially having been in such a scary fight and being injured!” Kamui broke out of his reverie and looked at Yuzuriha, smiling despite himself. She grinned back and spoke. “And if you’re upset because a Kekkai was destroyed, you should stop worrying. It is a loss, but all four of you returned alive and,” she touched a few of Kamui’s bandages, “…relatively… unharmed ?” They both laughed for a moment, and Kamui picked up Yuzuriha’s crutches for her. She bid Kamui and Subaru a goodnight and made her way back to bed. Kamui was feeling similarly inclined, but as he started walking Subaru turned to him from his contemplative silence. “That’s not what’s really bothering you, is it?” “… Of course the loss of a Kekkai affects me.” “But the loss of the Dark Kamui is more upsetting?” Kamui felt a little anger at that remark. “The Dark Kamui is my enemy! I do not mourn his loss but /wish/ for it. It is my friend, Fuuma, who I cry for.” “What you seem to be overlooking, Kamui-san,” Subaru walked towards him, an angry expression on his face despite his controlled voice, “is that they are one in the same. And you know in your heart that they have always been two sides of the same person.” “I don’t believe that.” “Then you’re in denial! Whether he behaves as the kind-hearted Fuuma or your sadistic, counter-star, he is still your enemy and still the one you must defeat! Today you had a perfect chance, and you let it slip. Everyday you let him live is another day he can destroy more lives! How many more things will have to be sacrificed before you realize this simple truth Kamui-san!” “No!” Kamui yelled, tears springing to his violet eyes. “You didn’t know him! You didn’t know who he was! If he just becomes that person again no one else would have to be hurt… that is what I wish for. Why are you so intent on making me believe otherwise?” “Because it’s a lie!” Subaru suddenly walked over, very close, and put a hand on Kamui’s shoulder, the other lifting his chin. “It’s a lie, and I know. I know because I believed in the same lie a long time ago. I believed that only the /good/ part of a person was the true part, that the evilness could be overlooked and overcome. But that just isn’t true. The evil within is just as real as the good. Seishirou-san… he wasn’t just the kind veterinarian I fell in love with, he was just as much the heartless assassin.” Subaru closed his eyes, and for a moment there was silence. Kamui became very aware of their proximity, Subaru’s scent and the warm heat coming off of his body. Trying not to notice it, Kamui focused instead on a nearby table. Subaru seemed to have composed himself. “It is the same with Fuuma. Inside him are both your friend and your enemy. You cannot save one and destroy the other, because they are both a part of each other. You must realize this if you are ever to destroy him.” Kamui wouldn’t look at him, he couldn’t. He didn’t believe any of this; it was /wrong/. Absently, he felt himself sway forward a few times, his body brushing up against the older man’s. “I see this truth now, because I was deceived by the same lie when I was your age. And I continue to suffer today because of my mistake.” Subaru sighed, and Kamui felt the exhale on the side of his face. He looked up as the Onmyouji started again. “But you’re not in the same situation as me; you cannot afford to make a mistake. You are too important Kamui-san! And although it isn't fair, your decisions aren’t only your /own/. You’re deciding things for all of humanity! I have no right to lecture you about selfish wishes, but I implore you to consider what you’re asking for… we will all be affected by it.” Kamui knew Subaru was wrong; he was sure of it. But for the Sumeragi’s sake he decided to be acquiescent. “All right, I’ll think about it. Thank you for the advice.” He stepped away, but Subaru leaned close to his ear. “Please Kamui-” Kamui turned his head minutely, his face touching against the other Seal’s, his words a breath against Subaru’s cheek. “Good night Subaru-san.” Subaru pulled back and nodded. But he didn’t return to his room. Instead he stood by the window, in the same spot Kamui had been in earlier. He was certain someone else was trying to get Kamui to realize this too, and was doing it through Fuuma. “Shiro-kun!” Keiichi whispered. Kamui had nodded off and was lying with his head on the desk. “Wake up before you get into trouble!” Keiichi thought of reaching over and shaking the other boy, but something stopped him. There was a serene look on Kamui’s face that was never there when he was awake. Besides, Keiichi decided, Kamui must be exhausted. What with being out late and then getting injured in the earthquake… And why was it Kamui was always injured somehow in the earthquakes? His eyes wandered over Kamui’s bandaged arms, and settled back on the boy’s face. He really looked innocent when he was sleeping, and so much younger. Keiichi could almost see him as a young child. Kamui had probably been a really cute kid. He smiled privately to himself. Just then, Kamui’s eyes opened slowly. Keiichi watched as the dark lashes veiling those dazzling eyes fluttered open. Kamui wore a questioning look on his face, along with a little smile. Keiichi realized he had just been caught staring at him as he slept. He wiped the smile off of his face and looked forward, struggling to control his blush. At lunch the two boys sat on a bench, their bentou-boxes resting on their laps, and chop sticks primed for action. As Kamui pecked at his food, Keiichi chattered happily. “What a wonderful day, is it not Shiro-kun? You could hardly believe that today could be so beautiful when last night all that chaos occurred. I wonder, were you still out when you were injured? Or had you already come back to the campus? Ohhh, is that unagi! May I have a taste?” Kamui held up his bentou as Keiichi helped himself. “I hadn’t made it back to the campus in time.” “Why did you insist on being out so late? You never gave me a straight answer when I asked the yesterday.” Kamui smiled a little mischievously. “I had thought Segawa-kun would realize it was just a ploy to get him out alone at night.” “Shiro-kun, what is the real reason?” Kamui’s smile faded. Playing around was cutting it anymore. He saw the concern in Keiichi’s eyes as the eyes of the blond looked over his wounds. “Sometimes, Segawa-kun, I have so many problems that I feel suffocated... like I’m trapped in someone else’s life, and living only for some perfunctory purpose! I guess running away from the Clamp Campus was kind of a subconscious way of escaping my troubles.” “What are you talking about Shiro-kun? What problems do you have are so horrible?” Kamui looked at Keiichi for a long moment. He reached out and touched Keiichi’s face. Ignoring the other’s shocked reaction, he let his palm rest there. “You’ve been such a good friend Segawa-kun. You know, I once had two, other, good friends- from my childhood. One of them is dead now, and the other is gone.” His fingers slipped down Keiichi face and began to toy with the uniform collar. “If I decide to try and find him, it may mean that I will hurt a lot of people I care about.” “Is it worth hurting those people, Shiro-kun?” Kamui looked away, feeling the same anger he had at Subaru’s words. “It’s not my fault that they are in the way. I never asked for them to-” “But the fact remains, Shiro-kun, that there /are/ people who care about you. And if you hurt them, it should be for something that is worth it.” Kamui was startled. He pulled his hand back into his lap. Had he even considered if his wish was /worth/ the trouble of seeing it into actualization? It had always just been this thing he had blindly trusted was right. <Still the same… you still feel the same to me.> No! Of course it was worth it, this was /Fuuma/! He swore he would protect Fuuma and Kotori. <I want to protect the place where they can be happy.> A detached corner of his mind registered that he was leaning on Keiichi’s shoulder. He remembered feeling annoyed that their faces were too close, and was about say so when, oddly, he closed his eyes instead. It was almost a shock, almost, except that Kamui realized that it was mostly his fault it happened. He drifted more fully into conscious thought as he felt warm lips slowly releasing his. That was startling. And a little arousing. Kamui stared back into Keiichi’s face for a moment, before he decided he liked it. He leaned forward and captured his friend’s lips in a, relatively, chaste kiss. Keiichi made a little noise and broke apart, wearing a wild stare. Kamui kissed him softly upon the mouth once more, before pulling back a little and sitting in his original seat. Keiichi just sat there stunned, fumbling with his chopsticks and looking frazzled. Kamui couldn’t help laughing as he began on his lunch with a renewed appetite. He looked almost angry as he listened to Kamui laugh. “What is the matter with you!” Kamui shook his head apologetically, but couldn’t stop laughing. “You’re behaving like an idiot Shiro-kun.” Keiichi angrily jabbed at his sushi. The Seal kept laughing, and he felt the tension melting from his shoulders. What had he just done with his friend? He stopped laughing and turned to Keiichi with a grin on his face. “I’m glad I can amuse you.” Keiichi mutttered, not sounding as if he meant it a bit. Kamui touched his arm, then leaned forward and kissed him softly on his cheek. Keiichi turned his head and spoke into Kamui’s hair. “You know I’m not really angry with you.” Kamui nodded and got up. He gave a quick bow. “Thank you for the company today. I’ll see you in class.” Kamui couldn’t stop grinning as he walked back. But in the back of his mind a nagging voice was warning him not to get swept up in anything. He kicked a pebble out of his way, and it tumbled into a small koi pond. How could Subaru be right? How could wanting Fuuma to come back again be a bad thing… how could it mean he would be was hurting his friends? It was his wish, and his wish was his /own/, despite what the Sumeragi had suggested. What, should he wish instead to preserve the world? But what was a world without the person he loved most... Subaru kneeled before the dreaming princess, deep within the the Diet Building. “Tell me Hinoto-san.” “I-I cannot. I’m sorry Subaru-san, but something is blocking my farsight. I cannot see into the Dark Kamui’s mind.” “It is because of the Dreamgazer for the Dragons of Earth?” “Yes, I think so. But I believe your presumption is correct. The other Kamui’s mind is being influenced by an unseen force, trying to resurface impressions of his former humanity.” Subaru shook his head, “But what purpose would that serve? Why would someone, who isn’t a Dragon of Heaven, wish for the other Kamui to loose his desire to fight?” “Perhaps it has nothing to do with the other Kamui becoming more humane, perhaps it is a ploy to make our Kamui more capable of destruction.” “But that is twisted. Why would the Dreamgazer for the Dragon’s of Earth do such a thing?” “He is the only one who can tell us that.”</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>