http://clampfix.fanworks.net/x-fix/sickheart.txt </head><body><pre>Heyla minna-san! As the title and the tag indicate, this 'fic is pretty dark. The piece also contains shounen-ai implications, with spoilers for X16 and the X11 side story (quoted lines copied with permission from Kristin Olson's translation of Subaru's side story). Many thanks go out to both Kristin and Nat-san for providing help with background information, and for suggesting some improvements. :) C&C welcomed. -Jonna ******** X The Sick Heart One-Shot by Jonna Coombs Posted October 23, 2001 ******** DISCLAIMER: The characters of X belong to CLAMP and their associates, and are being used here without permission from their creators. This story is a fan-work, and is written for non-profit entertainment purposes only. ******** A white shikigami soared on the heated updrafts above the city. A pair of eyes, one green, one white, observed the spirit-bird's progress as it sketched lazy circles in the air. Distance had reduced its form to a pale dot against the grey background of the overcast sky. Even though Subaru stood quite far from the path of its flight, he recognized the faint but potent aura of Sumeragi craftsmanship. It wasn't his, but he knew who had created it. He also knew who it searched for. It was easy enough for him to hide from those airborne eyes--to cloak himself in the art to maintain his solitude. He had the option to destroy it, of course. A single shikigami did not contain much power. To destroy it would have been disrespectful, however, so he did not. It was the same respect that prevented him from unplugging his answering machine, though it had collected forty-seven messages this past week. Forty-two of those messages had been from a single person, the same one who had created the shikigami above. All forty- two were the same. <Subaru-san. I know what happened at Rainbow Bridge. You must contact me immediately.> Subaru looked away from the shikigami, lowering his gaze to the house that stood before him. It was a traditional Japanese residence, a building with a tile roof and sliding walls of paper and bamboo. The expansive grounds were artfully arranged, containing a small, flowing stream, and a beautiful ornamental garden filled with flowering plants. After a moment of careful consideration, Subaru left the sidewalk and stepped up to the closed main gate, resting his hands against the iron rails. Just beyond the gate stood several trees, shading out the sunlight with leaves of vibrant green. Subaru had seen those trees only a few months before, back when they had been clothed in pink at the height of their bloom. He hadn't forgotten about the sakura. The thought prompted him, almost against his will, to glance down at his hands as they rested side by side on the plain, undecorated metal. The backs were blank now, the smooth, white skin completely devoid of the magical symbols that had branded them for sixteen years. The marks had started to fade almost immediately after the fall of Rainbow Bridge. Subaru had noticed it even before his last conversation with Kamui. The bright blue lines had slowly dimmed from the bottom-most point of the inverted star near his wrists, out towards the fingers of each hand. By nightfall there had been no evidence left to show that the marks of the Sakurazukamori had ever existed. The marks of the Sakurazukamori.... Subaru forced his gaze away from the backs of his hands, focusing again on the house beyond the gate. The residence itself was dark, silent, empty. If he looked closer, he could see the first small signs of neglect: a scattering of leaves starting to collect on the wood and stone path, a handful of weeds taking root around the edges of the ornamental garden that had been so carefully tended not so long ago. He hadn't expected to see that evidence of slow decline. If there had been any shred of emotion left to him after all that had happened these past few weeks, he probably would have felt sorrow. The state of the place made him doubt that the young girl who had once lived here still survived. It would not have surprised Subaru at all to learn that she had lost her will to live following the exorcism of her lover, and had chosen to follow him into death. The young couple had looked so happy when Subaru had seen them together for those few brief moments. It was the kind of incandescent happiness that happened all too rarely, one that manifested itself by illuminating both people from within. That had made Subaru hesitate. But the exorcism was what the girl's mother had wanted, and it was what he had been hired for--so he banished the last of his own objections by telling himself that this was the right thing to do. Human shades didn't belong in the mortal world. Their power made them dangerous, even deadly, and the most docile and gentle spirits could change without warning to become a threat to the people who lived around them. That was why it was an onmyouji's duty to help those ghosts move on to their proper place. Even if it would hurt the ones left behind. So he had done the job, quickly and efficiently. But he did not try, as he might once have, to explain himself to the girl. And he did not try to beg her forgiveness. The words of the young girl's mother came back to him, as clearly as if she were standing just beyond the gate in front of him. <My daughter loved that man enough to bring him back from the dead. Enough to be able to set her own spirit free from this world. Within her heart, she could continue to think only of that man, only of the one she loved. That's something none but the heartsick can do.> The mother had showed no remorse for destroying her daughter's happiness. It didn't matter to her what she had to sacrifice, or who she hurt by her obsession. It was worth any price to her to get back the one person that she loved more than anything else in the world. That, too, was something that only the sick heart could do. "Subaru-kun," a warm voice spoke up behind him, intruding into his thoughts, "your grandmother is looking for you." Subaru could sense that the shikigami in the air far above was fading. The searcher had finally decided to move on. The last vestiges of the bird's magical aura were replaced by the emanations of a closer, much more powerful spiritual presence. "I know," Subaru responded to the observation, his voice sounding toneless and empty to his own ears. A low chuckle drifted over his shoulder, accompanied by the sensation of a fog-like chill, which laid itself against his back and circled around his chest from behind. Subaru thought he could detect a faint and subtle mixture of aromas--the odd combination of cigarette smoke and sakura. Wilted petals shed by the ornamental lilies lining the walkway whirled briefly in the little dance of air that stirred by his feet. "She's worried about you," that same voice said. "She should be." Subaru kept his eyes focused on the empty residence, looking forward so that he wouldn't have to turn around and face that ghostly presence, whose very existence went against every tenet of the art that had been passed down through the Sumeragi Clan for generations. He made no move to extricate himself from Seishirou's insubstantial grasp. It was far too late for that. "She should be." ******** <==========}-----o The CLAMP end of the world fanfiction page: http://www.crosswinds.net/~sunshine60/ sunshine60@crosswinds.net o-----{==========></pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>