http://clampfix.fanworks.net/x-fix/silly.txt </head><body><pre> Hi! Been writing too many serious fics lately so I decided to write a silly fluff. This probably has been done a million times before, but what's one more? This is quite hentai-ish and rather evil, written under the influence of insomnia. Disclaimer: Any recognizable character ain't mine. They are the property of the very talented and gifted CLAMP - - - - - - - - - A Silly K/S fic by Lika There was no doubt in anyone's mind that the boy sitting in the pediatric waiting room was having trouble with his babies. There were three of them, a set of twins judging by the identical size and face, and an other one, a toddler. One of the babies was sitting in his lap, positively bawling. "I'm sorry," said the boy to the people around him, trying to sooth the one in his lap while rocking the one in his carrier on the floor with his feet. They baby in his lap stopped crying, but the one in the carrier started to make a choking crying sound only babies make and started to wail. The wail seem to encourage the baby in the lap to start crying and soon, both were screaming at the top their lungs. "I'm so sorry," the boy repeated. "I'm sorry." The secretary at the registration desk got up and took the baby in the carrier. "If you want, I'll watch over him, Shirou-san," she said. "Thank-you," the boy said in a voice that sounded very harassed. Both he and Subaru had been up all night, first having mind-blowing sex, and then trying to soothe the babies back to sleep. "It's a her, by the way, Fujii-san. That's Kotori." The secretary smiled as she picked up Kotori and managed to quiet her cries. "So that must be Hokuto," she said, pointing to the twin in his lap, who was also starting to quiet down. The boy nodded, and almost nodded to sleep when the baby in his lap started to cry again. He continued rocking her. The woman beside boy clucked her tongue in sympathy. Her own child was asleep, tired from her bout with ear infection. The infection was gone, but the mother wanted the doctor to check to make sure. "It's very hard raising children, isn't?" she asked to boy, who was singing as he rocked his baby. "Yes, it is," the boy replied, tired. "They kept us up all the night, just before we were going to go to sleep." "At the same time?" the woman questioned incredulously. "It's a twin thing," he said. "One get sick and starts to cry, the other gets sick and starts to cry." "You poor thing," the woman said sympathetically. She looked at the toddler who was trying to get his parent's attention by pulling at his shirt. "What's wrong with this one?" "Nothing," said the boy. "I just thought leaving Subaru home with ten kids would be cruel so I took him with me." The woman gasped. "Ten kids? Plus the twins-" "Twelve," the boy mumbled, bending down to pat the toddler on his head with obviously fondness. Despite his exhaustion, there was no doubting the true affections the boy felt towards his children. No doubt that he loved all his children the same way. All twelve of them. The woman was shocked. "Twelve!?" she exclaimed. "We didn't mean to have so many," the boy told her. "Maybe a couple so see if we could actually pull it off, but every time I saw Subaru without his shirt on, or he'd see me bending over to pick something up, we'd start getting so aroused that we just couldn't wait. You'd think after the fourth one, we would remember birth control, but if you knew how Subaru looked without his shirt on, trust me, birth control is the last thing on your mind." "Subaru?" the woman said. It didn't sound like a female name to her, or "his shirt" for that matter. "Your wife?" "Yeah," said the boy. "He's my wife." Before the woman could ask if the boy was just really tired, or out of his mind insane, the toddler beside him began to whine. "Mommy," he wailed, "I want my juice!" The boy reached into his bag and gave him a lidded cup of juice. He smiled as the boy took the cup and went to play with the toys. The woman was thoroughly confused and surprised by now. Could it be she had been talking to a woman all this time? The boy looked pretty enough to be one but his voice was undeniably a male's voice and his figure seemed far too flat to belong to someone who had twelve children. "He called you Mommy," she remarked. "Of course," said the boy/girl. "I gave birth to him. They call whoever gave birth to them Mommy. The twins will be calling Subaru Mommy soon." The woman's mind was swimming. She thought: Lesbian relationship where one of the partner believed the other to be a man. "Are you married?" she asked. Maybe that might help her figure what the hell was going on. The boy looked indignant. "Of course we are. Do you think we'll raise twelve kids without officially being married first? We had a proper Shinto ceremony. Well, as proper as Sorata being the one who was marrying us could be. He kept interrupting the vows to tell us each how cute we looked in our wedding gowns and that he never seen us wear leather like that before. Arashi kept threatening to cut his hand if he didn't shut up but that didn't work. It wasn't until she promised to wear a similar wedding gown on their wedding that he finally went back to being professional and our ceremony was as beautiful and as touching as we wanted it." The woman stared at him, her mind trying wildly to make sense out of the things he just said. "You both wore wedding gowns?" she queried, deciding that it was definitely a lesbian relationship. "We both wanted to be brides," the boy explained. "We had a terrific fight about it, but then we remember how much we had been through together for us to get over our respected former abusive obsessions and fall in love with each other that we decided wedding dresses weren't worth arguing over. I suggested we both be grooms and then Subaru said, hey, why don't we simply both be brides? And so we did. Karen did the design. I thought the leather skirt was a little short, but Karen assured me Subaru would appreciate it and he did. Boy, did he ever show me his appreciation on our honeymoon." The woman felt like she was Alice in Wonderland. "And you have twelve kids?" "I know it sounds crazy," the boy commented, giving his baby a kiss on the cheek. "Even Subaru didn't believe it could happen. I told him over and over again, it was possible. After all, I do have the powers of the gods and Subaru is a very powerful onmyouji, although I didn't think being an onmyouji made it possible for him to do /that/. I told him after the first Hokuto that it was time for me to seme and for him to uke - I did want to be a seme for a while; Subaru has such a nice ass - but what ended up happening was that Subaru had the second Kotori instead." Crazy lesbian couple who believe they're men with special powers of gods who are into leather get-up and like dominant-submission relationship with anal sex who only had two name for their children, the woman concluded. The doctor opened his door at that moment and stepped out. "Shirou-san," he said. It was obviously he had seen the boy many times before. Twelve kids meant lots of trip to the pediatric clinic. "I'm coming," said the boy, gathering the baby materials around him. "I hope you and your children sleep better tonight," said the woman, a bit thrown off, but still friendly. The boy smiled at her. "I hope so too," he said. "It's going to be a busy evening. I have to get an surprise romantic candle light dinner ready for Subaru." The woman smiled back at him. "Taking a break from the children?" "Something like that," the boy admitted. "Basically, it's the best way to break really gargantuan news to Subaru. I found that out after the second Kotori. You see, I've just been to the obstetrician and there's going to be two more addition to the family." - - - - - - - End of Fic Before anyone throws bricks and flames at me, let me mention that many of the ideas came from the Dream of Sakura Message Board. I wouldn't name them of course, ::coughalimaggieshizukaannaammiealisoncough:: but a lot the ideas, like 14 kids and leather gowns (thanks Ammie and Alison) were their ideas. ::fleeing away as all the above names throws bricks at her for dragging their name into this fic::</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>