http://clampfix.fanworks.net/x-fix/silver.txt </head><body><pre>Title: Silver Screen (prologue) Author: Kerianne (mpike@froggernet.com) Warnings: Slight language, innuendos, but nothing that should send anyone into palpitations Rating: eh... PG Spoilers: Just some stuff for the movie, and reference made to a recent major event in the timeline. If you're not up to date on the story and don't want to know, tread carefully. Category: Humor/Parody Disclaimers: The X characters don't belong to me, they belong to CLAMP, I'm just borrowing them to have my wicked way with them. Well, in a literary sense, anyway. @.@ Notes: Yeah, I'm back already. ^^;;; Thanks to everyone who commented on When the World Ends. This is just another crazy random humor idea I got... beware of OOC-ness, extreme liberties taken with the moviemaking process, and my whacked sense of humor. "Princess Hinoto! Princess Hinoto, what is it--" Aoki Seiichirou burst through the door of the Dreamgazer’s chamber, followed closely by the other Dragons of Heaven. Hinoto’s telepathic call had been urgent, and they’d all managed to get there as quickly as possible. Whatever the princess had to say, it had to be very important. Suddenly Seiichirou stopped short, staring incredulously. This set up a rather ridiculous-looking domino effect which resulted in most of the six other Seals landing in a large heap behind him. As soon as they had sheepishly picked themselves up off the ground, they saw what it was that had so shocked the wind-master, and joined him in staring. "Would you like to take a picture? It might last longer," Satsuki muttered, earning her an odd glance from Yuuto. "What? I went to elementary school too, you know..." The seven Dragons of Heaven narrowed their eyes at the seven Dragons of Earth, then in perfect unison, lifted one hand and began to raise their kekkais. Then, blinking, they all stopped. "How many times do I have to go over this," Sorata sighed. "One... at... a... time." "I don’t think it should be _you_," Yuzuriha said. "You always take forever. I mean, is all that moaning and groaning really necessary? You sound like a Dragonball Z reject..." Everyone sweatdropped and stared at the young inugami mistress, who popped cat ears and tilted her head. "It’s the only thing on when I get home from school, alright?" ::Calm down, everyone.:: The telepathic voice stopped them in their tracks. ::There’s no need for fighting. Now that we’re all here, I can explain.:: Seated beside Hinoto was her sister, Kanoe, looking serene. Nobody seemed to be trying to kill anyone else, at least not for the time being. The Seals relaxed, although uneasily, and waited to see what the Dreamgazer had to say. ::Kanoe and I have come to an... agreement.:: "Hinoto reminded me that if I was to attempt to kill and destroy all humankind, I’d end up dying as well," Kanoe explained. Sorata frowned. "So?" "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get laid when you’re dead?" Kanoe cried in outrage. "Hmm... I beg to differ," Seishirou said smoothly, giving Subaru a lascivious look. Everyone ignored him. "So... what now?" Kusanagi asked. "We won’t be fighting them anymore?" There was a hopeful look in his eyes, and he glanced shyly up at Yuzuriha. ::No. The prophecy will not come to pass. There is no longer any reason for the two groups to be enemies.:: "Damn," Fuuma muttered. "Now what’s my excuse for being evil?" Kamui stared at him with large, wobbly amethyst eyes. "You think you’ve got a problem... now I have no reason to angst! What will I _do_ with myself?" "I guess this is goodbye, Miss," Sorata said softly, taking Arashi’s hand. Under normal circumstances, she would have slapped him, but she seemed oddly subdued. "Unless, of course, you’d like to elope with me-- ow!" Not _that_ subdued. Seiichirou turned to Karen. "Keep in touch, alright?" "Of course. You too-- you know where to find me." Karen winked. "Hey, I might even be able to get you reduced rates..." The windmaster, predictably, blushed. "Hold on, hold on," Kanoe said, interrupting the various goodbyes. "Not so fast. We said you wouldn’t have to _fight_ anymore-- that doesn’t mean we’re finished with you." ::Now that the End of the World has been averted, Kanoe and I are out of a job,:: Hinoto added. ::We’ve got to make a living _somehow_. So, we decided as long as we’ve got this group of young, attractive, photogenic people at our disposal...:: "We’re going to make a movie!" Kanoe finished brightly. The entire group sweatdropped, and about half of them fell over. "We’ve already been in a movie, though," Yuzu pointed out. Kakyou pouted. "Hey, speak for yourself." Kanoe raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at the younger girl. "You call that a movie? More like an animated obituary list. We’re going to do it _right_ this time." "So I don’t have to get hit by a train for no reason?" Karen asked hopefully. "And I won’t get typecast as a muscleheaded asshole?" Kusanagi beamed. "And Kamui won’t cut off my head?" Fuuma grinned. "I wouldn’t go _that_ far." Kanoe smirked at the former Dark Kamui, who looked vaguely offended. "What will the movie be about?" Subaru asked softly. "Well, that’s the second part of the deal. We don’t have a script yet. At first we thought we’d write it, but then my sister had a wonderful idea..." ::I thought it’d be more fun if you all wrote your own scripts.:: Hinoto’s telepathic voice was bright. ::We’ll read all of them, film the good ones, and whichever one we like best will be the one we release.:: This announcement drew mixed reactions from the fourteen dragons. Sorata was grinning like the proverbial canary-eating cat, while Arashi looked somewhat nervous. Karen’s expression was thoughtful; then a sly grin spread over her face. Yuzuriha was her typical optimistic, bouncy self, and Kusanagi continued to cast hesitant glances in her direction. The rest were either glaring or prettily pouting, as was typical for this group. "Come on, it’ll be fun," Kanoe insisted. "Make sure you don’t forget about me when you’re doling out parts." She preened a little. ::A-hem.:: "Er, and my sister." Everyone stood around for a moment, not sure what to do. Not having to worry about the impending apocalypse was going to take some getting used to. ::That’s all,:: Hinoto said. ::You have a week to come up with your scripts, then we’ll begin shooting. Imonoyama-san and his friends have generously volunteered to direct, produce, and come up with sets and locations.:: Everyone except Seiichirou, who as an editor was used to working with deadlines, stared at the Dreamgazer in shock. "Only a week?" Hinoto smiled serenely. ::It’s plenty of time. But you’ll want to get started right away.:: Taking the hint that the meeting was over, the fourteen Dragons trudged out the door. One week to come up with a decent movie script. Somehow, they could already sense that this little undertaking was going to be a pure disaster. * * * * * One week later: "Hmm... not bad... not bad at all..." Kanoe was perched in her own personal director’s chair, poring over one of the fourteen scripts that had been turned in earlier that day. The other thirteen scripts sat in a pile beside the chair. She looked up. "I think we’ll start with this one..." she paused to check the name on the cover, "Arisugawa Sorata’s." The Kouyan monk beamed. Arashi glared at him. One quick trip to the CLAMP Campus copy room later, each actor had his or her own script. The room was silent for a moment or two while everyone read. Sorata watched Arashi’s face expectantly, beginning to back up as her face reddened more and more. "You... I... we... aarghhh!" Arashi stabbed a finger toward the script and whirled on Sorata, eyes shooting daggers. "I am _not_ playing your damsel in distress!" "I think it’s cute," Karen said conversationally, hiding behind Seiichirou when the priestess’s flashing eyes turned upon her. "Come on, Arashi, it’s not that bad," Sorata pleaded. "Besides, every action hero needs his lady!" "Well, it isn’t going to be me." Arashi dropped the script onto the ground and stared at it distastefully for a moment, then turned around and crossed her arms firmly across her chest. Sorata pouted. Kanoe sighed. "Sorata, is there anyone else you’d consider for the role?" Karen perked up, subtly inching forward into Sorata’s line of sight. Seiichirou looked mildly irritated. "No." Sorata shook his head. "I wrote the script with Arashi in mind. If I can’t have her, I won’t have anyone." There were nuances to his tone that suggested he might be talking about more than just a movie. "Are you sure there’s _no one else here_ who would do justice to the part?" Kanoe leaned forward and gave Sorata a smoldering look. "No." The Dreamgazer pouted and sat back in her director’s chair. "Fine. I guess we’ll just have to move on to the next script then..." She picked up the second script on the pile. "A song-and-dance musical revue written by Nekoi Yuzur--" Arashi spun around, panic in her eyes. "On second thought, I’d be _thrilled_ to play your lady, Sorata-san." The words were delivered less than sincerely, through gritted teeth, but it was clear that the shrine maiden would far rather suffer the indignity of being saved by Sorata than the humiliation of dancing and singing in public. Yuzuriha looked mildly offended. "What’s wrong with my script? I _like_ musicals!" Everyone ignored her. Kanoe smirked. "Well, then. Let’s get started, shall we?" (tbc) C&C please! ^___^</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>