http://clampfix.fanworks.net/x-fix/xmovie.txt </head><body><pre> Behind the Scenes at the filming of X: The Movie. -Do not read this if you haven't seen X the movie. Almost every discrepancy between the movie and the manga as seen thus far is covered. This is not meant as a criticism per se (you can't condense a huge partial script into a 90 minute movie with a definitive ending without mucking about a bit). It's just a bit of random insanity that ran through my mind when I watched this movie with a friend. *as the cast gathers for a last run-down of the shooting schedule, they are examining the final copies of the script and making mutinous muttering noises. Coversation(s) ensue.* Kamui: Explain to me again why I have to wear these stupid colored contacts? What's _wrong_ with my eyes? Fuuma *leering*: Why, nothing at all. But maybe I ought to take a closer look.... Kamui: Eeep! *backs away and bumps into Subaru* Subaru *muttering*: At least I got to keep both of mine.... ** Kotori: Why do I just sit there and let that tramp drag me under? I know how to scream! Good Lord, I'm not going to let anyone drag me away to horrors untold without at least shrieking for help! Fuuma: And why do I listen to Kanoe? If I have to come across as the victim of a brainwash, why couldn't it at least be a _convincing_ brainwash? ** Karen: Why am I in my underwear for the entire movie? I _do_ know what clothing is. Lingerie on the public streets is TACKY! Kamui: I _miss_ my manga clothes. Seishirou *pulling out the X Zero artbook*: Don't we all.... Kusanagi: Must you drool like that? Sorata: You gotta admit, the wardrobe choices for this flick just suck! Arashi *raises an eyebrow*: You're complaining about your clothes? We've all see what you wear in the manga. Sorata: So I'm a little casual. That's _different_. In this outfit, I look like a FREAK! Yuuto: Or worse yet, an American. Seishirou: It could be worse.... Subaru: Much, much worse.... Kamui *gesturing to pseudo - Dracula cloak*: How? Subaru: Imagine it in hot pink with a neon orange and chartreuse paisley pattern. Seishirou: And possibly little purple bows and a matching hat. All: *wince* ** Satsuki: The list of questions just goes on and on.... Subaru: _Why_ am I sharing a trailer with Seishirou? Seishirou *draping one arm around Subaru*: And why is my chablis _never_ just the right temperature? All:.... Seishirou: What? ** Yuuto: ....And this plot line! You could drive a _train_ through the holes in the plot. Satsuki: Not CLAMP's fault. There's a time limitation to work with here. Kusanagi: Not like the _manga_. It's going to be 2999 before we get anywhere with the plot there. Sorata: At least it's a steady paycheck. Fuuma: And the perks! Kamui: Perks? Fuuma: Torture, murder, sado-masochistic tendencies... Kamui: Help.... ** Fuuma: Thanks to the compression of the storyline, I have to keep this stupid haircut and blasted school uniform throughout the entire movie! What happened to the cool clothes and little bitty sunglasses? I look like a complete dork! Yuuto: True. He and Kusanagi sort of bring down the tone of the whole thing. We're the villians. We're SUPPOSED to look cool. Seishirou: And what's with the hideous excuse for an outfit that Shogo wears? Kanoe: And just _look_ at Satsuki! *all turn to regard Beast* Fuuma: How, exactly? Kanoe: My point. Yuuto: Right *grabs the X Zero artbook* Where's that blasted wardrobe mistress? She and I need to have words. ** Kamui *brandishing a copy of the script*: And it's not enough that I'm an orphan, now I don't even have an AUNT! Sorata *stands and puts one hand over his heart*: A moment of silence for those so unjustly edited. Among the missing in action are: Kamui: My aunt. Kanoe: Those dishy CLAMP Gakuen boys. Subaru: Hokotu. Seiichiro: Kakyou. Shogo: I, personally, will not be mourning _his_ absence. Yuuto: And whatever happened to Fuuma and Kotori's father? You can't tell me they were living alone at that shrine. Fuuma: And mother, don't forget mother. Kotori: M, mother?? Chorus: Kotori, STOP that! Hinoto: Where were we? Seishirou: Subaru-kun's Grandmother. Karen: And Seiichiro's entire family. Hinoto: And Kusanagi's personality is also among the missing.... Kusanagi *having a Stanislavski moment*: Why, Why, WHY!?!?!?! Yuzu: 'Sokay, Kus-chan! Fuuma asked for an ice cream cart on set, so we can go out for ice cream after we die! All: Urgh. ** Seishirou *still hanging all over Subaru*: What's the matter, Subaru-kun? Aren't I sexy enough for you? Subaru: ...I'm going on strike.... Nataku: But then they'll just make your part smaller. Subaru *raising one eyebrow and attempting to fend Seishirou away*: Shorter? How, exactly? Yuuto: Less drama then? Subaru *managing to disentangle himself*: That's fine by me! I'm afraid of heights anyway! *stomps off* Seishirou: He's so _cute_ when he's angry. All:.... ** Fuuma *leering*: ...and why don't we get to explore my 'relationship' with Kamui? All: Eeeeeeew. Kamui *backing away*: Count your lucky stars, Subaru.... You could have to share a trailer with _him_. ** Seiichiro *adjusting his glasses*: And who did the lighting for this little production, anyway? It's pitch black around here half the time, and the way everyone wears darker colors makes it a bit difficult to see what's going on. Fuuma: Tell me about it. I nearly impaled myself on Kamui's sword during that last rehersal. Kamui *muttering*: Rats..... ** Subaru *finally taking cover behind Sorata*: Whatever happened to plot? Whatever happened to dramatic resolution? Arashi: Whatever happened to you being all cold, calm and determined? Subaru *looking harrassed*: If I could get twenty seconds ALONE, maybe. Seishirou *appearing in a cloud of sakura blossoms*: What's that, Subaru-kun? You want to be alone? Subaru: ACK!! *flees* ** Nataku: And what about that bit with Kamui's mom? And what am I doing here anyway? Without any explanation of the Shinken or plot exposition, I don't have any reason to _exist_. Particularly now that they've cut the CLAMP School out of it all together. Kamui and Fuuma *unison*: And what's with the stupid flashbacks?! Kamui *muttering*: At least in the manga they had some point. Stupid hide and seek. Fuuma: You're just saying that because you always lost. Kotori: I _liked_ hide and seek.... ** Arashi *holding up her hands*: ...and what's with this weird drawing style? I don't look like myself at _all_. I look all...puffy. Karen: That's just anime versus manga, dear. All anime characters look a bit chubbier. It's the camera, I think. Seishirou: Hmmm. Subaru-kun? Does this animation make me look fat? Subaru: *growls* Kusanagi: I look like a murdering thug! Yuzu: There, there. ** Hinoto: Whatever happened to the TB backstory? Seishirou: And the fact that our so-called climactic battle was translated two different ways depending on if you were watching the sub or the dub? Subaru *huffily*: What about everyone's wishes? Fuuma: Oh, so you _want_ to lose an eye? Subaru: ... On second thought ... ** Kamui: ...and what's my motivation, anyway? They way they've squeezed the plotline together, I'm supposed to be wracked with agony over the death of a couple of people that I saw for all of about fifteen minutes after a period of ten years? I don't _think_ so! Fuuma: Awwwww. Won't you cry over me? Please? Kamui *glares* Kotori: He's got a point, you know. And they made me look like a complete dingbat! Fuuma: You _are_ a complete dingbat. Kotori: I'm NOT as bad as all that! Karen: No one is as bad as all that.... *pause* Seishirou *all injured innocence*: Why is everyone staring at me? ** Anonymous voice: Right! Today we're going to begin with Kotori's dream sequence! Kamui: Great. Twice as much work for me.... Kotori: At least you get to _do_ something. All I get to do is wander about looking clueless! Anonymous voice: Just get on with it! Sorata *turning to Seishirou*: You wouldn't consider a little freelance work, would you? Yuuto: Please? **</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>