http://clampfix.fanworks.net/x-overs/allez1.txt </head><body><pre> "Tell me what you eat, and I'll tell you what you are." -- Brillat-Savarin "Allez Cuisine!" by Jellyn (julie@core.binghamton.edu) Watakushi no kioku ga tashika naraba... there has long been a rival to my own Kitchen Stadium. With the funding of the well-known Imonoyama family, this campus promotes the teaching and learning of some of the most talented young people in the world. Today we have a challenger from this very famous of schools, CLAMP Gakuen. Beginning when he was barely old enough to hold a spoon, the challenger today has taught himself the finer points of cooking and has developed a discerning palate. Today I welcome in my Kitchen Stadium our youngest challenger ever at the age of 9, Ijyuuin Akira. "And here we see our challenger entering the stadium. I have to say, I'm not into young boys, but he is absolutely adorable. And we see there up in the booth are some of his classmates. They're already cheering quite enthusiastically for him. They certainly seem confident of the outcome of this battle." It's an honor to have you in my Kitchen Stadium today. "Thank you very much." As you know, you're the youngest to ever challenge an Iron Chef. "I know, and I'm very honored to be here." Well.. let's get started. I summon.. the Iron Chefs! "And here the Iron Chefs are rising into Kitchen Stadium. Who will our challenger choose? Will it be Iron Chef French, Sakai Hiroyuki, Iron Chef Chinese, Chen Kenichi, or Iron Chef Japanese, Morimoto Masaharu?" "Chen-sama, please." "Oho! Sama.. Is our challenger mocking Chen or does he really hold him in high regard? Be sure to ask him that, Ohta! We're in for an interesting battle today. I hear Ijyuuin-kun is a master of all types of cuisines, but will his cooking skills stand up to those of our own Iron Chef? The Chairman is about to reveal the theme ingredient!" Taking into consideration that our challenger is from CLAMP Gakuen, I had to choose an ingredient worthy of that school and its students. And so... KYOU NO TEMA WA.... bishounen. "..." "Chen-san seems quite shocked at the theme ingredient." "He's not the only one!" "Our challenger looks nothing but intrigued." ALLEZ CUISINE! "I'm told today's theme ingredient is from CLAMP Gakuen and the surrounding area. They're all 100% bishounen from Imonoyama stock. Very rare. Very expensive." "Yes, I heard they're easily worth 700 million yen apiece." "Let's introduce our guests for this evening." "If we can get the gallery to stop screaming so loudly..." "Look, two of them who /were/ holding up a sign to cheer on the challenger are now holding up a sign cheering on the theme ingredient! What do you make of that?" "I knew we were in for an interesting battle today..." "Let's introduce our guests though.. some of them have already begun drooling." "Today we welcome a panel of students. First we have Tsukishiro Yukito. Welcome to Kitchen Stadium." "Thank you. Pleasure to be here." "I see you've brought along a.. large submarine sandwich." "Yes, I hope you don't mind. I thought that with all the cooking going on, I'd get hungry really quickly." "I hope you have room to taste the dishes." "Oh, don't worry about that. I'm looking forward to it." "Alright.. and next we have.. Higashikunimaru Kentarou. What a mouthful." "Why, thank you. I enjoy getting compliments like that." "..." "And up in the booth watching is my partner, Shuukaidou Takeshi. Together, we form Campus Cop Duk--" "I'm sorry, Kentarou-san, I didn't mean to hit you with my wing." "And this is Sumeragi Subaru, a noted medium. That's.. an interesting outfit you have on." "Yes, my sister made it. The wings are a little awkward." "Well.. anou.. let's check in with Ohta down on the floor." "Fukui-san!" "Yes, Ohta." "I'm told there's a bit of a problem with some of the theme ingredients. One in particular." "Do tell." "It seems one of them is being guarded by a rather irate ninja." "Let's listen in...." "No. I told you, Akira, you're not cooking Kaichou." "But I had a lovely idea for bishounen strudel. With ice cream on top!" "You'll just have to find another bishounen for it then. I'm taking Kaichou up to the booth where it's safe." "Anou.. Suoh.. it doesn't look very safe up there." "Kaichou, would you rather screaming fangirls or strudel?" "Akira's strudel will be very delicious, I'm sure. I'd be honored to be a part of it." "Thank you, Kaichou." "We're /going/ to the /booth/." "Fukui-san! It looks like the ninja is carrying off some of the theme ingredient! The challenger looks disappointed." "So do some of our panelists." "Fukui-san! I've just looked over at the Iron Chef's side and.. it's difficult to describe what I see here." "Do try, Ohta!" "Well.. Iron Chef Chen is just.. sitting here. I've tried talking to him, but all he'll say is 'Why bishounen?'. He just keeps repeating it." "What are his assistants doing?" "Well, they've tried to prepare some of the theme ingredient in the hopes of coaxing Chen-san to do something, but.. even the sight of several naked bishounen hasn't done anything to spark his creativity." "This is bad. This is very bad. How will he come up with enough dishes in time?" 15 MINUTES HAVE ELAPSED. "Hiyeeeeee!" "Yes, Sumeragi-kun?" "I just wanted to say I'm /very/ happy to be here and I /love/ the theme ingredient. I can't believe I was lucky enough to be here!" "Your wings seem to be sagging a little." "Yes, well, I'm so excited!" "Mmhmm. Tsukishiro-kun, what do you think of the developments so far?" "I hope they both create their dishes in time." "Yes, we all hope that. Higashiku.. Gashiku.. Higa.." "Higashikunimaru." "Yes, thank you, Ohta. Higashikunimaru-kun, what are your thoughts?" "One of the theme ingredients looks rather familiar to me.." "Really? Which one?" "The one who was dragged off to the booth." "Oh, that would be... Imonoyama Nokoru, the elementary school class president." "Oh, that must be it. Thank you. Oi, Takepon! Take a picture of me sitting here! Takepon!" "The screaming girls in the gallery just won't quit! We're going to have a very hoarse audience before the cooking is over with." "DARLING!" "Fukui-san! A young man just fell face-first out of the booth!" "Oh dear. That'll be a mess to clean up." 30 MINUTES HAVE ELAPSED "Certainly doesn't seem to have been half an hour already, does it? Ohta, what's going on down there?" "Fukui-san.. the challenger has begun to make his strudel /without/ the ingredient he had his eye on. He's found a more willing subject. One without a bodyguard." "That's good news." "Yes. But I have bad news for you too. Chen-san is still just sitting here!" "That's not good. Not good at all." "Oi.. Oi! Get off me! I'm saving myself for my husband!" "Higashikunimaru-kun, is there a problem?" "Yes! Sumeragi-baka won't get off me!" "But you're so adorable! With those little gloves.. just like my.. But you're so adorable! KAWAII!!" "Fukui-san!" "I.. Ohta, I hope you have some good news for me. The panel is getting restless." "Actually.. I do! The challenger's strudel is out of the oven and looks delicious! He tells me he's going to use another bishounen to make the ice cream." "I look forward to seeing how that turns out." 45 MINUTES HAVE ELAPSED. "Fukui-san!!!" "What's wrong, Ohta?!" "Chen-san has collapsed! His assistants and several of the theme ingredient are fanning him to try to rouse him!" "Fanning him.. I.. don't think we're allowed to show that on TV. They'll probably edit this part out later." "Imonoyama bishounen are rather well-endowed, aren't they?" "Anou.. yes, they are, Tsukishiro-kun. Nothing but the finest for Kitchen Stadium." "Adorable! Those glasses! Even better than the gloves!" "Erk." "Panelists... could we endeavor to calm down a little? The judging will be soon." 5 MINUTES REMAINING. "Talk to /him/! He keeps glomping both of us!" "Anou..." "Oi!" "..." "To-ya.. a little help, please?" 1 MINUTE REMAINING. "Fukui-san!" "..... yes, Ohta..." "The challenger has managed to finish one dish. Normally this would be a dismal showing, but.. Chen-san is still out cold." "I wish I could join him." 10.. 9.. 8.. 7.. 6.. 5.. "Hey! Sumeragi-kun is a girl!" "I knew you wanted me, Adorable-chan!" 3.. 2.. 1.. "The cooking's done. The Bishounen Battle is OVAH. Thank goodness!" The challenger presents us with one dish today. Bishounen strudel with ice cream. The flakiness of the crust provides just the right contrast to the creamy deliciousness of the inside. The ice cream adds just the right hint of coolness to an otherwise hot dish. The Iron Chef's assistants present us with several quite naked bishounen. The preparation was as enjoyable as the outcome, as each layer of clothing was stripped away to reveal the beauty within. "And now for the tasting." "....." "Where's the challenger's dish? Where's the challenger?" "Fukui-san!" "Ohta? What are you--" "It seems that the challenger's dishes and the challenger himself have been taken by 20 Mensou!" "20 Mensou? /Here/? In Kitchen Stadium? What a development!" "Takepon! We're needed!" "Did someone lose a medium? I found this guy tied up backstage." "To-ya.. do you know how to make strudel?" "Kaichou, this isn't funny!" "Subaru.. don't be mad. Look, I found you a new boyfriend!" "Fukui-san, the audience wants to know if they can have the leftover ingredients." "We are.. CAMPUS COP DUK--" "Please, somebody, roll the closing credits!! Chairman!!" Watakushi no kioku ga tashika naraba... I was thinking about retiring. Now seems like an excellent time to do so. "Excuse me, Chairman. But would you be interested in selling me Kitchen Stadium? We could use it for the next elementary school division cooking contest." "Kaichou..." "I already have the perfect theme ingredient in mind." ".... Kaichou..." --------------------------- http://www.core.binghamton.edu/~julie/fanfic/</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>