http://clampfix.fanworks.net/x-overs/doe0.txt </head><body><pre>A crossover bit of madness wherein I've taken great liberties with Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance", now renamed Dragons of Earth, and made the cast of X1999, Clamp Campus Detectives, and Campus Cops Duklyon perform it. *ufufu* Please don't judge it too harshly. It's my first fic, and it's not even all mine since I used so MUCH of the P of P to do it. Writing is _not_ my strong point. Mostly I draw, but this was screaming (whether in pain or not is yet to be seen) to be done. ^_~ Erm. And it hasn't been proofed. o.o; I apologize to Gilbert and Sullivan, though I think they might get a kick out of the weirdness. And definitely I apologize to CLAMP for stealing their characters without permission and making them star in something so terribly wrong. >.< Well, maybe not _wrong_ per say... *cackle* Ahem. Last but not least, my apologies to the delicate sensitivies of the readers. If you aren't familiar with The Pirates of Penzance (for SHAME!) you can find out all at this handy website: http://home.netscape.com/bookmark/4_61/tstart.html which includes letting you listen to the music. You'll probably get a much bigger kick out of this fic thing if you already know what to expect. One final thing, and not the final day either, this is just the introduction to set the stage. I have until part 4 done. It's gonna be *pauses* long when it's done. *eyes swirl and seimei falls over* Without further ado. ---------------------------------- Dragons of Earth (Intro) X\CCD\Duklyon A Twisted Parody-Type-Thing Rates: PG (barely) By Seimei Seimei@mysterious.icestorm.com ---------------------------------- CAST Major General Stanley = Nokoru The Pirate King = Fuuma Samuel (PK's Lieutenant) = Nataku Frederick (PK Apprentice) = Seishirou Seargent of Police = Suoh Other Policemen = Akira and Duklyon Mabel = Subaru (female) Other Daughters = Sorota (female), Aoki (female), Karen, Arashi, Yuzu-person Ruth = Kamui (female) Other Pirates = Kakyou, Satsuki, Yuuto, Kusinagi Dragons Of Earth - Introduction [Adapted from the real introduction to suit my nefarious purposes.] In the story Seishirou (the role normally filled by Frederick), the hero of the piece, was as a child apprenticed to a dragon of earth (who also just happens to be a pirate for the sake of this insanity) by his nurse who, being rather hard of hearing, had mistaken her master's instructions to apprentice the boy to a pilot. Pilot. Not PIRATE. o.o;; Act I opens with a rocky sea-shore scene on the coast of Japan and shows a number of pirates drinking and playing cards. They toast young Seishirou, the Pirate (dragon of earth) Apprentice, who being over twenty one, "rises from indenture freed" and is "a pirate now indeed!" However Kamui (playing the role of Ruth), his former nursemaid, and now a piratical maid-of-all-work, explains to the pirates her unfortunate mistake in apprenticing the boy to their own Pirate King, Fuuma. Seishirou tells them that he likes them as individuals but nevertheless, now that he is out of his indentures, he intends to exterminate them (how true to form), purely out of a sense of duty (he has a tree to feed), but he points out that such a procedure would be unnecessary if they would give up piracy as, in any case, they will never make it pay owing to their being too tender-hearted (well, so he says. in actuality hed just rather not kill them all off as it will mess up the end of the world as he'd like to see it, and really he'd be satisfied with them going away and leaving him alone for a while ^_~). As orphans themselves they never molest an orphan; a fact well known to others who always claim to be orphans when captured, and so are allowed to go free. Kamui implores Seishirou to take her with him, but as he has never seen another woman since he was eight years old he cannot tell how she compares with them and, unfortunately for Kamui, a bevy of beautiful maidens, daughters of Major General Nokoru who has bought a near-by estate, come clambering over the rocks and into the pirates lair. Seishirou then realizes that Kamui, by comparison, is plain and old, although she is only forty-seven (poor Kamui. He has to play the old spinster role. ^o^). She goes off, and he speaks to the girls who are about to go paddling until their father and the picnic hampers arrive. He implores one of them to marry him, but they refuse, all save one, Subaru, who hearing his plea as she enters readily agrees to do so and sings her beautiful waltz song, "Poor wand'ring one!", which necessitates brilliant technique, and is invariably greeted with tremendous applause. They go off together. (It's Subaru's big chance to redeem Seishirou.) Soon the pirates return and seize the girls, delighted at the prospect of getting married with impunity (to their dragon of heaven counterparts); but their joy is short-lived as the Major-General (Nokoru! *prance*), resplendent in scarlet and gold (always a gaudy dresser...), a somewhat unusual garb for a picnic by the sea (just the kind of outing you'd expect him to take the kids on. *grin*), suddenly appears and sings his famous patter song, which must be quite the most difficult to sing of any such song that Gilbert wrote, and all honour is due to the singer in "putting it across" with such well-clipped and military precision. The song is taken at a tremendous pace, but despite the many astounding tongue-twisters-such as: "I quote, in Elegiacs, all the crimes of Heliogabalus! In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolus . . ."-and there are four verses-the singer, without any hesitation whatsoever, invariably clears all his fences in magnificent style and pulls up at the end, somewhat breathless, perhaps, but obviously a winner. Truly a better Major-General has never sat a gee. (just don't expect him to actually do physical combat...) In order to dissuade the pirates from marrying his daughters and leaving him to go through the remainder of his life unfriended, unprotected and alone he appeals to their sense of fair play (read. "he manipulates them greatly") by explaining that he, too, is an orphan, and it is then that he and the Pirate King Fuuma have their rather laboured joke about "orphan" and "often"; it is certainly a long drawn-out affair and one can easily foresee the whole development of the episode, but then Gilbert possessed a truly democratic and philanthropic mind and he always remembered the weaker intellects in the audience and preferred, for their sakes, to hammer out a joke rather than risk the chance of their failing to appreciate it. The Act ends with Kamui imploring Seishirou not to leave her, but he scorns her and casts her from him . Act II shows a ruined chapel by moonlight, with General Nokoru seated there surrounded by his daughters. He points out that, having falsely described himself as an orphan to escape the pirates' clutches, he comes to the chapel, night after night, to humble himself before the tombs of his ancestors by purchase. (Amazing what money can buy if you have enough of it o.o;;) In this opera Gilbert satirizes snobbery as displayed by Major-General Nokoru, who, having bought a large estate, claims the long-dead members of the family as his own ancestors. Meantime Seishirou has arranged for the local police to march with him against the piratesÐan expedition that appears to fill them with dread (wouldn't it fill you with dread too?); however after a great deal of delay they eventually go. Seishirou is about to follow them when the Pirate King Fuuma and Kamui appear at the window, armed, and cover him with their pistols (shinken! *cackles*). But they soon put away their firearms (swords) and tell him, in a most friendly manner, of a startling paradox. They remind him that he was born in leap yearÐon 29 FebruaryÐwhich occurs every fourth year, and therefore reckoning his age by birthdays he is "a little boy of five", despite the fact that he has actually lived for twenty-one years. Seishirou is therefore a pirate still and owing to his sense of duty he feels compelled to tell the Pirate King Fuuma and Kamui that General Nokoru is not, and never was, an orphan (I bet he was planning to tell them anyhow just for the heck of it though.). The Pirate King Fuuma is furious at the deception played on him and storms off to collect his men with a view to attacking Imonoyama Castle that very night. The police reappear and Subaru explains to them that as Seishirou has rejoined the pirates he cannot now lead the attack on their lair. The police, who have a great deal of fun poked at them in this scene, are much perturbed at the thought of having no leader and the Sergeant (Suoh) then sings his amusing songÐ"When constabulary duty's to be done, the policeman's lot is not a happy one" (especially when it involves Nokoru). As the pirates approach, the police discreetly hide (if you were Suoh, would you want to be attacking Fuuma, Kamui, and Seishirou and gang?) but the Major-General (Nokoru) appears, in dressing-gown and carrying a candle (how typical); however, despite the boisterous singing of the pirates the General decides that he was wrong when he thought he heard a noise and assumes that it was only "the sighing of the breeze" (and thus does Nokoru proceed to frollick singing through the night with the enemies all around. *LOL* Suoh doesn't get paid enough...) Sullivan's beautiful accompaniment to this song, "Softly sighing to the river, comes the lonely breeze" is a masterpiece of descriptive music, and the violins in very truth are "setting nature all a-quiver, rustling thro' the trees". Suddenly the pirates appear and seize the General (Nokoru); but he calls upon the police who bravely spring up from their concealment (Loyal Suoh, Akira, and Duklyon), and a short fight takes place in which they are vanquished (you expected them to WIN? they're lucky they LIVE.). However the Sergeant (Suoh) calls upon the victorious pirates to "Yield, in CLAMP's name! (or Queen Victoria's name, whichever you like better :P)" They obligingly do so and kneel at the feet of the police (best not to tick off the CLAMP ladies. They will do bad baaaaad things to you). At this critical moment Kamui, in true Gilbertian manner, announces that the pirates in reality "are all noblemen, who have gone wrong!" The General (Nokoru, being the benevolent type) thereupon gives his daughters to the newly discovered comrades, and all ends happily. Dragons of Heaven Marry Dragons of earth. And the world does not come to an end. =^___^= ©Gilbert&Sullivan. Massive changes ©Seimei. ===== Kokoro-Ga-Nokoru "Today is the one day out of the year that ladies are able to pour their heart out without any hesitation with an item called chocolate. If you run today, you are not a man, Suoh, Akira." - NokoruCGT</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>