http://clampfix.fanworks.net/x-overs/miw-a1.txt </head><body><pre> <Shi-chan notices that the CLAMP ML has been awfully quiet lately... Shi-chan decides something must be done about this and it's time to sow some chaos. She pulls out an explosive device from her pocket and flings it at the unsuspecting ML...> <BOOOOOOOOM!> Miyuki-chan in Anime-Land An "EVERYTHING I personally have seen and can possibly use" crossover (which means it's going to go on for a while) By Shi-chan of Fanfic Infamy Part 1 (and why not start with something REALLY evil first... :>) Miyuki sat in front of the TV, watching avidly as sailor-suited superheroines made silly speeches. (I WARNED you, didn't I?) As usual, however, she had completely forgotten about her tendency to have weird things happen to her simply by virtue of her cuteness, and so once again she was completely unprepared when a bright light burst from the suddenly liquid TV screen and wrapped around her in unreasonably strong tendrils that dragged her right through the glass. "KYAAAAAAAA!!!!!" she screamed, which always seemed like the best thing to do in situations like this, despite the fact that it never did any good at preventing strange things from happening to her. Miyuki landed with a thump on the ground and mumbled, "Ow..." as she reluctantly opened her eyes, almost unwilling to see where she had ended up this time. She was rather surprised to find herself in what appeared, at first glance, to be a perfectly ordinary park. She glanced around, but didn't see anyone near her. There was something rustling in the bushes, though... Just as she noticed that, a woman's head popped up. She looked at Miyuki suspiciously, then smiled and stepped out of the bushes, wearing a red dress that by some miracle had not been torn by the branches or covered with leaves. She stepped closer and bent down so that her face was very close to Miyuki's, and a very great deal of her cleavage was exposed. "My, you're very cute, aren't you," she said, and then asked, "What's your name?" <Why does everyone always want to know that...> "It's Miyuki," she answered diffidently. "A cute name too," the woman observed, then reached forward and pulled Miyuki's blouse forward so she could peek down it as Miyuki blushed and stammered a rather incoherent protest, trying to scootch back along the ground. "No, stay, you cute little thing," the woman said, and gripped Miyuki's leg with a hand far stronger than it should have been. Then Miyuki saw the talons growing from the woman's fingers as she watched. She looked back at the woman's face, and watched in terror as it shifted into the face of a monster. Miyuki did the only reasonable thing and screamed "KYAAAA!" again. "Somebody HELP!" "Now, let's just cut those irritating clothes off you..." the monster said, brandishing its claws. Miyuki wailed. "Hold it!" a female voice shouted. "Huh?" the monster looked up. "Oh, not you again," it said in irritation. "Leave that poor girl alone! How dare you torment innocent young girls on their day off! Your behavior is inexcusable! In the name of the moon, I will punish you!" Sailor Moon leaped from a tree branch and landed on the ground as she spoke, going immediately upon landing into her series of poses. "Don't you EVER give up?" the monster demanded, and fired her claws like bullets. Sailor Moon promptly screeched and ran. The monster followed her, which left Miyuki free to crawl into the bushes and hide. She felt a bit guilty about leaving Sailor Moon in the lurch like that to fight on her own, but there was nothing SHE could do against a monster. <I don't have any powers or anything...> "HEEEEELLLLLPPPP!" Sailor Moon wailed in the distance. "Well, what are you waiting for?" a voice demanded acidly. "Huh?" Miyuki looked down, at a black cat that was lashing its tail in a rather annoyed manner. A crescent moon gleamed on its forehead. "Well?" the cat prompted. "No one's going to see you. Sailor Moon's in trouble! Transform already!" "But - but I--" Miyuki protested. Luna grumbled. "I swear, you're being as dense as she is! Get on with it!" Miyuki started searching her pockets. <Okay, so I'm supposed to be a Sailor Senshi, I can handle that, if I can just find whatever pen I'm supposed to use I can help Sailor Moon and figure out how to get home-- Her rambling thoughts ground to a halt as she found in one of her pockets not the expected pen, but instead a red rose. <Huh?> The rose seemed to trigger something, because suddenly Miyuki felt very odd, and her skin faded into translucent sparkles. Her clothes disappeared and new ones swirled around her, solidifying on her body into... Once again, not quite what she expected. Instead of a Sailor Senshi uniform, she was wearing a combination of a leotard and a tuxedo. "KYAAAAAA!!!" Sailor Moon screeched again in the background. Miyuki bit her lip and then ran forward, instinctively leaping cleanly over the bushes to land twenty feet from the monster which was busily tearing up the ground to try and get to Sailor Moon, who was still keeping up an amazingly loud wailing as she tripped all over the place evading the monster's claws. Miyuki got their attention in the time-honored manner of throwing a rose that sliced through the air and stabbed into the ground neatly between Sailor Moon and the monster. "Hold it!" Miyuki announced as they both turned to look. The monster did not look pleased at being interrupted. "Dammit, you're ruining my fun," she said in annoyance. Sailor Moon's eyes doubled in size and sparkled dreamily. "Tuxedo Kamen!" she gasped in joy. Tuxedo Kamen took a moment to follow the rule that truly cool characters had to pose with their cloaks flowing around them, then promptly ducked as the monster fired a barrage of claws at her. "Now, Sailor Moon!" she yelled. "Heal her!" "Right!" Sailor Moon said eagerly, raising her crescent moon wand. "Moon Healing Escalation!" The monster only grinned. Sailor Moon's face distorted and she started to cry. "Whaaaa, why didn't it work?!" The monster fired a hail of claws at her. Sailor Moon shrieked as she realized she was going to be impaled and she couldn't get out of the way in time. However, the claws only slashed through empty air. Tuxedo Kamen held Sailor Moon in her arms, leaping clear. "Are you all right?" she asked. "Ohh, Miyuki-chan," Sailor Moon said dreamily. Miyuki almost dropped her, but she quickly got over her surprise and said, "That monster never was human. Hit her with your tiara." <How do I know to say all this?> she wondered briefly, then forgot it. "Of course!" Sailor Moon said with the precise inflection of "Why didn't I think of that" reserved for the terminally brainless. As Tuxedo Kamen put her down, she took off her tiara and went into the series of poses that was required to activate the power in it. Then she flung it at the monster, shouting "Moon Tiara Action!" The monster yelled, "It's not fair!" just before she started to disintegrate. Tuxedo Kamen thought she heard, faintly, another yell over the noise of the tiara destroying the monster. "I'll sue...!" Tuxedo Kamen posed again. "Looks like we did it--" She broke off as Sailor Moon grabbed her in a hug, giggling joyfully. "Oh Miyuki-chan, you were wonderful!" She seemed completely unaware of the fact that she had her face resting up against Miyuki's chest. Miyuki fell over and sat up still caught in Sailor Moon's clutches. The other Sailor Senshi abruptly arrived on the scene, panting. "Sorry... we're... late," Venus gasped. Jupiter was, of course, barely winded. "What happened?" "Oh, nothing much," Sailor Moon said, waving off the attack. "Just another monster that we turned into moondust." Tuxedo Kamen took advantage of Sailor Moon's distraction and disentangled herself, then stood up. She noticed to her discomfort that the eyes of all the Sailors locked on her and went all dewy. She took a step back. "Well, um, I must be going--" "No, stay, Miyuki-chan!" Sailor Moon said imploringly. <How does she know my name? Usagi isn't supposed to know that yet...> "Uh..." she said, then noticed the other Sailors closing in. She glanced around nervously just before they all grabbed her. "Stay!" they pleaded, looking at her with huge piteous eyes and holding far too posessively to various portions of Miyuki's anatomy. She looked around wildly at the five faces, all gazing at her worshipfully. "KYAAAAAAA!!!" she screamed again. "Let me out of here!!" A young, feminine voice suddenly sounded in her head. "Please save this world..." "Huh?" Miyuki asked, just before the ground turned to water underneath her and she fell through it, her tuxedo costume changing instantly back into her school uniform. In the next instant she noticed that she was what looked like several miles above the ground, and falling fast. "KYAAAAAAA!!!" (Yes, she does this a lot, but she does in the manga and anime too, so I'm not going to stop; sorry) She landed suddenly on the back of a gigantic flying fish, and after a brief impulse to keep her eyes closed for the entire rest of the trip, decided to open them again. She saw what looked like a gigantic quartz crystal approaching quickly, the spires decorated with gold formations that made them look like swords stabbed into the ground. "Oh, where am I NOW?!" she wailed. ************** To Be Continued... (Unless the CLAMP ML tracks me down and kills me first, but I think this expolsive has nicely stunned them for a while so I have time to escape and plan my next daring fanfic blasphemy! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!) P.S. Disclaimer: All characters are owned either by CLAMP or by... err... by whoever owns Sailor Moon now. None of the rights of the creators or distributors is intended. The characters are purely fictional and any resemblance to actual people is highly unlikely.</pre><p><a href="./">Back</a></p><p><a href=http://www.dreamhost.com/donate.cgi?id=216><img border=0 alt="Donate towards our web hosting bill!" src=https://secure.newdream.net/donate1.gif></a></p></body></html>